Let It Be Me Read online

  “Good, let’s go,” Rob says.

  I stand up and grab my purse and jacket. As I put them on, Tucker says, “Next time you need to get something out of a closet, Violet, ask your husband to do it. I know he doesn’t want any harm coming to you, right, Rob?”

  Rob looks back at me and then Tucker. “Yeah.”

  I can tell Rob is getting madder by the moment. I need to get him the hell out of here. Nodding my head, I say, “Will do, goodnight, Tucker. I’ll hopefully be able to come in tomorrow.”

  Tucker nods. “Yeah, I hope you can.”

  “Let’s go, Violet,” Rob says and I start for him. As we leave, I look back to see Tucker watching me and I want nothing more than to run back to him. Hold him in my arms, press my lips to his, but I can’t. So I turn and go home with my husband.

  Grandma died at 9:32AM the next morning.

  Even though I knew it was going to happen, I still feel as if someone has ripped out my heart and stomped on it. My insides have been ravaged, torn apart until I’m nothing more than an empty husk. I’m numb and I don’t know what to do. What I want to do is ball up and cry, but I can’t. Not now, not with my staff and doctor only feet away from me.

  When my mom called, I couldn’t even understand her. She just kept saying she needed me to come home. She needed me. Now. Then she just dissolved in sobs. It was heart wrenching and all I want is to hold her and make it better. It’s been thirty minutes since she hung up and I am still holding the phone in my hand. My body, still in the same position and I don’t know what to do. I feel like a part of me is missing. It’s gone. It died with my grandma.

  My hands are shaking and I think it’s because of the number I’m dialing or maybe it’s the grief, I’m not sure. All I know is I’m about to break down if Rob says I can’t go.

  When he doesn’t answer, I call again and again until finally he answers.

  “Seriously? I’m sleeping.”

  I hold in my tears as I say, “My grandma passed.”

  “Okay?”

  My lip quivers and I try to hold in the rage that has hit me full force. How can he say that with no care in the world? He knows how much she means to me. Or meant. Damn it, this sucks.

  “I need to buy a ticket to go home. My mom needs me.”

  “Okay, why are you calling me about this?”

  I know that I need to keep my cool. I can’t lose my mind and tell this man that he is the biggest piece of shit in this world. I need to keep calm, but fuck it’s hard.

  Taking in a deep breath, I say, “I need you to buy it; I don’t have a bank card.”

  He laughs and my fingers dig into the cushion of my chair.

  “I don’t have money for that.”

  “I just got paid.”

  “Yeah, and I paid bills, Violet,” he says with a hint of annoyance in his voice. “We’re broke plus you don’t need to go.”

  Fuck being calm. “Are you kidding me?” I shriek. “Where the fuck is the money that my grandpa left me?”

  “Oh, I spent that last year when I bought my car.”

  “What?!”

  He pauses and I swear the heart I thought was dead a second ago is pounding against my chest in overtime. I’m about to scream. How dare he? That was my money and he spent it? Seriously?

  “Okay, listen here. You got one more time to fucking yell at me before I shut you the fuck up. Now stop calling me.”

  The line goes dead and I am stunned. Utterly and completely stunned. He spent my money. I had over twenty thousand dollars and he spent it? Oh my God, I am so fucked. I can’t call my mom and tell her I have no money to come, she’ll freak and she doesn’t need that. Oh my God, what am I going to do? I only have thirty eight bucks, that’s not enough for anything.

  Covering my face, I let out the first sob since finding out. My body shakes as the tears gush down my face. I can’t believe this. I move my fingers along my cheeks to catch my tears while my mind reels. I just don’t understand. How could I allow this to happen? Why didn’t I listen to my mom and grandma back then? I would not be going through this. I would already be home, I would have been there to help, but now it’s too late.

  I always thought I had the chance to get my money back. In my head, I thought that when I left and divorced Rob, I would have half the money to build my new life, but how can I if there is no money? Now, I won’t have anything. I’ll be starting from the bottom and that’s scares me. I’ve always had a cushion. That’s what my grandpa left it for, but I allowed this man to take it. I’ve allowed him to take me and completely ruin me.

  How did I let this happen?

  Without even realize what I’m doing, I move out from behind my desk and then across my office to my door. Throwing it open, I look across the hall and meet Tucker’s eyes. He is sitting behind his desk, his glasses sitting on the end of his nose as he looks up at me. I don’t know what I’m doing but soon I am crossing the hall and shutting his door.

  He removes his glasses before asking, “Violet? What’s wrong?”

  I can’t hold it in and soon I am crying so hard, I can’t breathe. I hold my stomach as the tears roll down my cheeks while my other hand covers my face. I hate that I came in here to do this. What was I wanting by coming across the hall to my boss’s office and crying my eyes out? I usually try to hide my feelings but not this time. This time, I’m losing it and when his arms come around me, bringing me in close to his chest, I know why I came here.

  I need the comfort.

  I need him.

  Sobbing, I wrap my arms around his middle, crying into his strong chest. His arms hold me so tenderly, so tightly and it’s been so long since I’ve been held like this. I take in a deep breath and instantly feel safe. I want to stay in his arms forever. He smells so good. Woodsy, but with a hint of fruits and herbs. It’s intoxicating and for only a second I forget that my life is complete shit. For that second I’m wrapped in the arms of a man that smells fantastic and can protect me. But just as fast as that second came, it’s gone and I’m back to the reality of my fucked up life.

  He holds me for a long time, not saying anything as I cry until finally, he asks, “can you tell me what’s wrong, Violet?”

  I nod and glance up at him. He looks down at me with the same caring eyes I have grown so fond of. I should feel like shit that this guy is always worried about me, but it feels good to be cared about. Looking up into his eyes, my walls crack, my heart speeds up and all I want is for everything to go away. I want to completely forget about the world around me and just stay here.

  In Tucker’s arms.

  “My grandma died.”

  His face fills with compassion as he says, “Violet, I’m so sorry.”

  “Thank you.”

  He reaches up before slowly moving my hair out of my face. “When are you flying out? Don’t worry. We’ll manage around here until you get back.”

  My forehead falls into his chest as my body starts to shake with a sob. I feel his arms tighten around me before he rests his head on top of mine. He is holding me like I am his, and God, how I wish that was true. I know I need to pull away and put some distance between us, but I don’t want too. I need what he is giving me.

  “I’m not flying out,” I whispered against his chest, blinking the tears out of my eyes.

  “What?”

  I pull away some and look up at him. “I don’t have any money to fly out there and I can’t ask my mom because she’ll flip. All her money is tied up in the arrangements and it’s such a mess, Tucker. I can’t believe it at all. I just got paid yesterday and Rob says it’s all gone. My savings, my everything.”

  “He says?”

  I pull away until I am completely out of his arms. He’s watching me but I won’t look him in the eyes. I can’t. And I can’t believe I’m about to admit this. I feel so ashamed but I need to tell him. I need to tell someone and right now, Tucker is the person I’m going to tell.

  “He controls everything. I have nothing.”