Let It Be Me Read online

  “I hate typing what I have to say because you can’t see me say it,” he says, as he walks towards my desk. Once there, he places his hands on the edge of my desk and looks right into my eyes. My breath quickens and my palms start to sweat from the close proximity.

  “The thing is, Violet, last night, I felt like you thought I was going to hurt you and I can’t express how far from the truth that is. I would never hurt you and I need you to know that. You should always feel comfortable around me because in no way, shape or form do I want to cause any harm to you. I’m sorry if I scared you or made you feel like that. It was never my intention and I hope you can accept my apology.”

  My heart is beating out of control and I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around this man’s middle and just stay there. Looking up into his eyes I want to tell him that it isn’t his fault. That it’s my husband’s fault because instead of loving me the way a man should, he hurts me, causes me pain and scares the living shit out of me.

  I don’t know why I want to tell him those things, but I do. With a smile, I say, “No apology needed, Dr. T. It was no big deal, like I said. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I thought I saw a bug or something coming toward me, and it freaked me out. I should be the one apologizing.”

  “A bug?” he asked incredulously.

  “Sure, or something,” I say with a wave of my hand. “It’s no big deal, I promise.”

  He stands up to his full six feet of glory before running his hand through his hair, his other hand on his hip. Looking down at me, he says, “I feel like there is more here that you’re not telling me.”

  I shrug. “I don’t know why. I’m great.” I’m surprised I can say it with a straight face. I’m nowhere near great but he doesn’t need to know that. I need to protect him because if I let him in, he’ll get hurt. Physically and emotionally. I swear I can see, in vivid detail, Rob getting a hold of Tucker and it scares me to the core. I can’t ever let that happen. I care too much for Tucker and I know that is stupid on my part but I do. How can I not? He is amazing, sweet and an all-around great guy. Gorgeous, too.

  He’s still watching me and as much as I like how he looks, I don’t want to be under his gaze right now. I feel like he’s finding cracks in the walls I’ve built up around myself that hides the shit I go through at home, and it makes me nervous what will happen if he finds out or if he even suspects something. I’ve only known him for a month, but I know he’s a fixer. He’ll do anything and everything to help people and I don’t think he’ll understand that he can’t help me.

  I’m not fixable.

  “You can talk to me,” he softly says, “I’m here for you.”

  See? Fixer.

  “Thank you, but really, don’t worry about me, I’m fine,” I say and I even add a smile for good measure. I’ve gotten so good at this lie, it’s scary.

  Tucker eyes me for another minute, his eyes peering straight through mine like he can see every ragged, bloodied piece of me.

  “It’s hard not to worry when I care, Violet. Just remember I’m here.”

  I can only blink before he lets out a breath and then turns to leave. When the door shuts, I lean back in my chair and close my eyes, covering them with my hands. Even if he had given me a chance to respond, I wouldn’t know what to say. I don’t want to lie to him anymore than I have but I’m going to have to. He knows something is up and I’m not sure if I should be worried or relieved.

  “I don’t know why we’re going to this. It’s stupid.”

  I let out an annoyed breath as I walked through the house. “I told you, you didn’t have to go.”

  “And I said I’m going ‘cause I don’t trust your ass.”

  I roll my eyes before sliding into my heels. Rob going to the office Christmas party was not what I had planned, but he invited himself when I told him I was going. I never expected that. I expected him to throw a fit and tell me I wasn’t going, so it’s easy to say I’m a little surprised.

  “I don’t understand why you don’t trust me to go to my office party but okay, that’s fine. Let’s go, I don’t want to be late.”

  When a remote breaks by my head, I whip around to see Rob glaring at me. My heart jumps up into my throat and my hands start to shake from the icy look on his face.

  “Don’t fucking rush me.”

  I reach down, collecting the broken pieces of remote. “Sorry,” I mutter as I walk past him to throw away the pieces.

  “You’re buying a new remote since you made me break it.”

  Like you, I wonder how I made him break it, but whatever. I don’t have the time to argue or fight with him. I just need to get to the party, wish everyone a Merry Christmas and then get the hell out of there. I don’t want anyone around Rob and I especially don’t want him around Tucker. I wish I could just say the hell with it and stay home but it’s mandatory that everyone is there. My co-workers are bringing their families. I was excited about meeting everyone but now that Rob is going, I’m freaking out that he’ll embarrass me or something.

  “Are you ready?” I ask, looking back at him. He’s wearing a pair of slim-fitting boot-cut jeans and cornflower blue button-up shirt. His dark hair is falling in his even darker eyes and I wish that I could muster up some kind of desire for this man but nothing is there. When his eyes meet mine, I look away, nervous that he’s going to yell at me.

  “Yeah, let’s go.”

  I tense up as he walks by me and once he’s passed, I let out a breath. As I watch him walk to the car, all I can think is that this is going to be a blast.

  Not.

  “Oh my goodness, it’s so nice to meet you, Rob, we just love Violet. She is a doll!” Ms. Tonya gushed. I’m smiling ear to ear, but when I look up at Rob, my smile falls. He has had the same look the whole time we’ve been there. The look is somewhere between stinking cheese and seeing an outbreak of herpes. I’m not sure what anyone thinks about him but I know I’m ready to leave. Like now.

  “That’s nice,” Rob says before taking a sip of his beer.

  I want to smack him. He’s being an ass but apparently Ms. Tonya doesn’t notice.

  “Are y’all going anywhere for Christmas?”

  I shake my head. “No, we’re staying here.”

  “That’s too bad, I would think you’d go home to see your grandmother,” she says before taking my hand. “How is she?”

  Rob lets out an annoyed breath but I ignore him and say, “She’s hanging on. She’s a strong lady.”

  “Of course she is, having raised such a sweet and strong woman like you. I’ve been praying for her.”

  I smile and I don’t miss the scoff that comes from my husband. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

  “Of course. Oh, Tucker is finally here.”

  I follow her gaze and find him walking in with his arms full of presents and the biggest grin on his magnificent face. Like the rest of the staff, Ms. Tonya starts for him, leaving me with Rob. I try not to watch as everyone gushes and fusses over Tucker, but it’s hard not to. He looks sexy as hell in a black expensive tailored suit that hugs every inch of him. His tie is a festive gold and his eyes shine as he looks out into the office. I hope to catch a glimpse of his ‘girlfriend’. I still don’t believe she exists and I’m starting to think I’m right because he stands alone. Wouldn’t she have come to the party? Yeah, I think so, too.

  When his eyes land on me, his smile grows but then it is gone just as quick as it came and I know it’s because of Rob.

  “Is that your boss?”

  “Yeah,” I say turning away from Tucker to look up a Rob, “He’s a good boss. You’ll like him.”

  “I doubt it, I hate him already.”

  “Why?” I ask with my face scrunched up, “You don’t know him.”

  “I don’t like the way he just looked at you. Actually, I don’t like the way any of these fucking people look or act around you. They think you’re such a great person, it pisses me off,” he spits out before taking a lon