Let It Be Me Read online

  I don’t want to lie to her but I know she worries about me and I can’t have that. Shaking my head, I say, “Mom, he doesn’t do anything to me. Everything is fine. I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not Violet. I know you’re not. Please, please leave him.”

  I let out a long breath and look away. “Mom, I can’t. I just can’t.”

  “Yes, baby, please. You can. You don’t deserve this. You’re better than this. Don’t let him hurt and control you any longer, sweetheart. Let me help you.”

  Tears rush to my eyes because that is what I want. I want my mom to help me, but I can’t risk anything happening to her. She may act like she could kill someone but she can’t. She couldn’t protect us. She’s small, like me, and I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to her when she was the one to tell me not to trust him at the beginning. Maybe it’s pride but I need to do this. I need to get myself out of this mess.

  I can’t look at her as I say, “I can’t. Not yet.”

  She squeezes my hands and I look up at her. “Yes, you can.”

  I shake my head. “No mom, I can’t. I’ve let him control everything. I have to get my money straight. I get paid great at the job I’m at right now. Let me save, let me figure things out. He doesn’t do anything bad to me, he just yells and throws things. I can handle it, but I promise I’m going to leave.”

  “How dare you lie to me like that? You don’t think I can see that black eye, Violet? What, did you run into a doorknob?”

  I cover my eye in shock. I thought I had covered it perfectly. I look away as a tear escapes down my cheek. Her hand reaches up and wipes my tear away before cupping my face. She then turns my face to look at her before she says, “I can’t be quiet anymore. I was quiet before because my mother said you’d fight your way out but you aren’t. You’re allowing him to control you, to hurt you, and I can’t take it anymore. I can help. Just let me. Let me help you, baby.”

  “It’s nothing, mom. I dropped a box on my face. He doesn’t do anything to me.”

  A look of disappointment comes over her face and it kills me. “Oh, Violet. Please stop lying to me.”

  “I’m not, mom. Please, I’m fine. I’m getting out of the situation, I just need time. I can handle it all. It’s not that bad, I promise.”

  You’re probably screaming at me, asking why I’m lying to my mom like this, but I have too. She’s mourning and I can’t have her worrying about me anymore than she already is. If I admit what’s going on, she’ll flip, fly down to Tennessee and then my mom will go to jail. I know that you think that is probably best, but I beg to differ. I plan to get out of this situation and, like I told her, I just need time. I need to get my money straight. I can’t depend on her when I come home. She has enough to worry about. Plus, I need to figure out how I’m going to get away from him with a clean break. I need to be able to leave and not have to look behind my back every second of the day.

  When she drops her hand from my face, I take a hold of it and say, “Except for Rob, I have it good in Tennessee. Just give me some time, mom. I’m figuring it out, but I need you to believe in me, to hold tight. I got myself in this mess. Let me get out of it.”

  She looks down at our hands as a tear slowly rolls down her cheek. “I can’t lose you, Violet.”

  I wrap my arms around her shoulders and kiss her cheek. “You’re not, Mom. You won’t.”

  She leans her forehead against mine, and we stay like that for a long time, just holding each other until she says, “Okay, I’ll let you handle it, but I hope that you’re telling me the truth, Violet, that you’re leaving him. He doesn’t deserve you and I’d hate to come to Tennessee and kill that bastard, ‘cause I will.”

  I want to smile. My mom is so strong, so beautiful and I know that is in me. I just have to find it.

  “I promise.”

  She doesn’t say anything to me as she looks out the window before letting out a long breath. As I watch her, I’m not sure she believes me but then again, I don’t even believe myself.

  Tomorrow is here and I’m nervous as hell.

  My plane came in too late for me to go to work so I have to go home and that’s the last place I want to be. It takes me two tries to get my door open because my hands are shaking so bad. Just the sight of Rob’s car has me both terrified because I don’t know what I’m about to walk into and pissed me off because that stupid car took my savings. I would give anything to go slash his tires, to kick the bumper, but what the hell would that accomplish?

  Nothing, unfortunately.

  I finally get my key in the door and open it. Stepping inside, he is the first thing I see. He’s sitting in his chair watching TV, a bowl of something in his lap and a tall glass of milk in his hand. He’s wearing his scrub bottoms but no shirt. His dark hair falls in his eyes and when he looks over at me, I look away quickly before going to the kitchen to lay down my keys and phone along with my purse that holds some of the clothes I bought in Colorado. I fidget as I take my clothes out of my purse and throw them in the back room to be washed. With shaking hands, I grab a bottle of water before going back to the counter to lean against it. Watching him.

  I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to act. It’s as if I’m walking on eggshells, waiting for something to happen. I know it’s coming and I just want it to happen so it can be over. I close my eyes as I take in a deep breath. I’m so nervous that I’m sick to my stomach and I don’t think that feeling will ever go away. Even if I knew what to say, I’m pretty sure it won’t help the situation, but then again, maybe I’m over reacting. He isn’t getting up, he hasn’t said anything to me. Maybe he doesn’t care. But that doesn’t feel right. The tension is thick in this room and it’s freaking the hell out of me.

  Looking down at the counter, I try to gather my wits but then I see an opened letter with a well-known Colorado lawyer’s letterhead. Picking it up, I read the letter. There’s a case against Rob for the assault and battery of Dr. Reeves. The letter is a subpoena for Rob to appear in court back in Colorado next week and failure to appear can result in a warrant.

  I jump when he snatches the letter from my hands. When I look up, Rob is glaring at me before he throws the paper in the trash. He dumps his bowl in the sink before turning to look at me.

  “Are you going to go back to Colorado?” I ask trying to act as if I’m not scared shitless of him.

  “Nope, I can’t get off of work. Don’t you worry your little head about it though, it doesn’t concern you,” he says before crossing his arms across his chest. “What I want to know is how you got back to Colorado? Did your mom pay for it?”

  “Yes,” I say without hesitation. I’m not stupid, I know you may think differently but I’m not.

  “Didn’t I tell you that you couldn’t go?”

  I shake my head. “No, you said you didn’t have any money and then hung up on me. Not once did you say I couldn’t go. I wasn’t going to miss my grandma’s funeral so I asked my mom.”

  “I’m pretty sure I said you couldn’t.”

  “You didn’t,” I say.

  “Whatever, she didn’t love you anyway. I don’t know why you wasted your time or your mom’s money.”

  Rage rips through me, and I swear I can only see red as I sneer out, “That’s a fucking lie and you know it.”

  He laughs looking off to the side. When he comes off the counter, I take a step back but the way the kitchen is set up, the counter makes a L shape and I am stuck in the corner with nowhere to go. When he reaches for my face, I smack away his hands and I guess that surprises him because he stops, his eyes wide as he glares down at me.

  “Did you just hit me?”

  “I don’t want you grabbing on to me,” I say, my voice breaking as I look up at him.

  “What the fuck is your problem?” he yells, making me jump.

  I try to act like he doesn’t faze me, but I know it isn’t working. My hands are up, trying to protect my face and my chest is rapidly rising