Let It Be Me Read online

  Closing my eyes, I whisper to myself, “I can do this.”

  When a pair of arms that I know belong to Tucker come around me, I open my eyes and look into his as he says, “Yes, you can.”

  “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  Tucker looks over at me from the driver’s seat. We’re sitting in the parking lot of the office and we have been for the last hour. Nothing has been said; we have only been holding hands like teenagers, still thinking about all that went on at the meeting. After a tearful goodbye to the women that I will always be indebted to, I promised that I wouldn’t see them again because I was leaving but now that I am away from them I am scared that I can’t do it.

  I am just so scared.

  Turning in his seat, he looks as me as he holds my small hands in his large one, rubbing his thumb along the back of my hands. “Tell me something.”

  “Okay?”

  “You said you want to be happy.”

  I nod. “Yes, I do.”

  “Are you happy with him?”

  “No,” I say quickly, with a disgusted look on my face. What kind of question is this?

  “Okay, what would make you happy?”

  I still don’t understand his questioning but I decide to play along. “To leave and one day be with you.”

  He nods, his eyes boring into mine as he says, “Then do it and let me be there with you every step of the way.”

  “But Tucker―”

  “No, no ‘but Tucker’ anything. You want something, then you do it Violet. You are strong. You can do this. Don’t let him hold you back; don’t let him control your life anymore. Take it all back and leave.”

  I shake my head but before I can say anything, he says, “I believe in you. Your mom believes in you and so does that group of women from the meeting.”

  Shouldn’t I believe in myself if everyone else does? It should be easy but every time I play it all out in my head, all I see is me failing. I’ll get to Colorado and not have the money for a divorce and he’ll come after me. He’ll find me and kill me. Or worse, he’ll hurt my mom. I can’t help but think that maybe this is what I’m supposed to do. Just be with Rob but when I look at Tucker, I instantly know that whole thought is stupid because Tucker is the man that I am supposed to be with one day. Rob is the hurdle I have to get over to get to what I really want.

  I have to believe in myself. I have to believe I can do this.

  And I can.

  Can’t I?

  “What if I fail?” I ask as my tears spill over and run down my face. “What if I get to Colorado and he comes after me?”

  “Won’t happen because we are going to make sure you’re safe. I am going to get the best lawyer and I swear to you, no harm will ever come your way.”

  “He can’t know you are helping me,” I stress and his hand comes up to cup my face as his eyes soften.

  “He won’t. No one will know. Just let me help you. Say the word and I swear to you, I will help you find happiness.”

  I reach up and put my hand on his. “My happiness is right in front of me.”

  His eyes soften as he leans his head against mine. “Then fight. Take back your life and when you’re ready, I’ll be here. Just fight.”

  I blink back my tears and slowly nod my head. “Okay.”

  He lets out a breath, his face relaxing in relief before he presses his lips to mine. I close my eyes tight as my arms come around his neck, pulling him closer. When he pulls back, I want to whimper but he pulls completely away and takes in a deep breath.

  “We can’t do this. Not yet. I need you away from him, Violet. The next time I kiss you, I want you to be mine and I want you to love yourself and your life.”

  My lip quivers as I slowly nod, pulling away more. Looking into his eyes I know what I have to do. If I want this man, if I want my happiness, I have to fight. I have to take back my life.

  I can do it.

  Reaching for the door, I push it open but then Tucker stops me by grabbing my arm. “What are you doing?”

  “Going to go get my stuff. I’ll call you in a few, it shouldn’t take me long. Rob should be a work, I should be able to get away just fine.”

  “I’m coming with you,” he says, sitting back in his seat.

  “No, I told you, Rob can’t know.”

  “He’s at work,” he points out.

  “But what if he comes home? Since someone has been messing with his schedule, I never know when he will be gone.”

  Tucker ignores my comment and says, “what if he does come home?”

  I look away because I don’t know the answer. I mean what am I going to do? Do I just run? Do I tell him the truth? That I am leaving his sorry ass? I don’t know but I know I have to do this. I am ready. I need this. Pushing the door open, I jump out before he can stop me.

  Bending down so I can see him, I say, “He won’t be. I’ll call you in a few.”

  “Hurry,” is all he says before I shut the door and jog to my SUV. Once there, I jump in, throwing my purse into the other seat and start the engine. My heart is erratic in my chest. My palms are dripping with sweat and I am shaking. My breathing is labor but not from me jogging but from my fear. I am scared out of my mind but I have to do this.

  I can do this.

  I’m not folding anything. I am frantically stuffing all my clothes and belongings into my two bags. I dump my jewelry box of all my grandmother’s jewelry onto of my clothes and reach for the next thing, stuffing as fast as I can. When I drop my brush, I scream. I am freaking out and I swear, I feel like he is going to walk through that door at any moment. It has me on edge. Rushing through the house, I take my pictures off the walls. I take my grandma’s cookbooks and even her cast iron skillet but I leave mine behind because they are replaceable. Running back to my room, I stuff everything in the bags and then do one final walk through. I’m pretty sure I have everything.

  Looking around the room, I wonder if I’ll miss it all. I wonder if I’ll think of this place that I tried to make into a home. Will I miss my life here? Will I ever want to come back? The answer is plain and simple. No fucking way. I won’t miss a damn thing about this place and I sure as hell won’t miss the man that has kept me here. I swear, I think the stupidest stuff sometimes. Grabbing my bags, I head down the hall and into the living room. I lay down my bags and reach for my purse, placing it on my forearm, before picking them back up to go but before I can even take one step, he is there, his eyes wide as he looks me up and down.

  “Going somewhere?”

  The hairs on my arms stand to attention as my hands to shake. I drop my bags and lick my lips because my mouth has gone dry. My whole body feels like it’s frozen and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. Slowly my hand goes into my pocket for my phone, but it’s not there. It’s in my purse. The same purse I dropped down with my bags. Fuck. I glance down to see how far it is but before I can even grab it, Rob kicks it away before putting his body in front of me, looking down at me with a look that could kill.

  As I look up in his cold dark eyes, I can’t believe I ever loved this man. I mean yes, he is a very good-looking man but why did I let that distract me? Why did I allow him to completely take over and control me entirely? I let him own me. I let this happen. He was such a good guy to me back then. And now? I am so fucking scared I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack. My heart is going nuts in my chest. My hands are shaking so bad that it almost hurts. I am terrified. Completely terrified of this man.

  But I can get away. He is not my enemy right now. No, it’s my fear and I can overcome all that. I can do this. Nothing else is holding me back from obtaining my happiness. Raising my chin, I look up at him and with all the strength I have, I say, “I’m leaving.”

  His head cocks to the side. “You are?”

  “Yes. I want a divorce. I’m tired of the way you treat me and the things you have done to me.”

  He scoffs shaking his head. “Where you going to go?”