Let It Be Me Read online

  “Great,” she says before shutting the door, but I stop it from closing. This is the perfect time for me to leave.

  But as I’m about to leave, Tucker says, “Violet, I get that you don’t want to answer me, but know that you don’t deserve to be treated like this, and when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here for you. I always will be here.”

  Tears pool my eyes and I want to scream that yes, he hits me, that I don’t know what to do to get out and please God, help me, but before I can, he reaches for the phone, turning his back on me as he answers.

  I haven’t seen Rob in three days.

  It shouldn’t be a bad thing but it makes me nervous. I’m about to get in the car with Tucker and Dr. McCloud to leave for Atlanta and I can’t get a hold of Rob to let him know. I don’t want there to be any reason for him to freak out on me when I get home on Sunday, but he isn’t answering any of my calls and I don’t know why. I feel like I’m being set up to fail and it’s making me inwardly panic.

  I know I shouldn’t care. Fuck it, you know? Who cares if the house is a mess, if there’s no food? He doesn’t deserve any of it but, for as long as it takes me to get my shit straight to leave, I need things to go smoothly between us. I can’t go to work with any more marks. I need to stay under the radar with Rob. I just need time to get things together, make some money and then I’m blowing this Popsicle stand. I’ve already set up my direct deposit and I feel good about it. I like my plan and I hope to God it works.

  No, it will work.

  I have to stay positive. I have to stay glass half full. I can’t doubt myself because I can do this.

  I can.

  Looking around the kitchen, I make sure everything is clean, that nothing is left out and it isn’t. The house is spotless. Opening the fridge, I read each note that says what each dish is. I have cooked a meal for him every night but I’m not sure if it is enough. I’m nervous and skittish and I feel like I should call Tucker to tell him I’m not going, but I need to go. This is for my career. This is to better me and to also build a good relationship with Dr. McCloud so that he’ll give me a raise and a great reference when I leave.

  That’s the other part of my plan. I plan to move back to Colorado and I’ll need a job, so I need to make sure Dr. McCloud and I are on great terms. I know Tucker will speak highly of me but if I could get both of them to do it, I would have a sure in when I get to Colorado. I might even meet a doctor from Colorado at the conference. Wouldn’t that be fantastic? If I start networking now, it will be easier when I move because they’ll remember me.

  Okay, let me be honest, even though having all these references and stuff will be great, I mainly want to go because of Tucker. We’re driving up there. That means four hours in the car with him, and it’s going to be a blast. I’m excited to talk and just enjoy him. We have a great relationship at the office but I want to know him outside of the office. Why? I don’t know, but I just do. Is it stupid that I’ve included him in my plan? I know I couldn’t convince him to move but maybe we could keep in touch and when my divorce is final and everything, I could come visit. I don’t know but I feel like I need him in my life.

  I need him to be a part of it, even when I’m gone.

  Okay, enough about that, I need to make sure this house is clean one more time but before I can reach the hallway, my phone goes off.

  It’s Tucker.

  “Hey,” I say breathlessly as I run through the house, checking each room.

  “Hey, I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for me to come in and get you but I’m here.”

  “Oh, Rob isn’t here, but I’m coming, give me two seconds,” I say before hanging up the phone and doing one last run through. Satisfied and knowing that I should be okay coming home Sunday, I put on my big coat and I grab my weekend bag before locking the door behind me and heading down the steps. When I look up, Tucker is getting out of the car and he smiles as he reaches for my bag.

  “Thank you.”

  “No problem. Hurry, get in the car; it’s colder than Antarctica out here!”

  I laugh as I walk around the car. “Are we picking up your dad? Should I get in the back?”

  “He isn’t coming,” he says as he reaches for the passenger door and opens it.

  “He isn’t?” I ask as I get in. I wait for him to run around the car before he gets in and looks over at me.

  “Nope, my mom wanted to go to some knitting thing and asked him to go. He’s trying to do whatever she wants now.”

  I reach for my seat belt as I say, “Well, that’s nice, but has he not always done that?”

  He shakes his head as he pulls out of my driveway. “Nope, it was always about work. My whole life it’s been like that. My mom says that’s why me and Blaine traveled and did what we wanted first because he was such a workaholic.”

  “Did retiring change him?”

  “No, my mom has cancer. That’s what changed him.”

  Oh no. I love Mrs. McCloud. We had become so close in the weeks she trained me. She is such a sweet, loving lady, one that would do anything for anyone. My heart sinks as I watch Tucker’s profile. His mouth is in a straight line and I can tell that this is hurting him. “Will she be okay?”

  “Thankfully, yes. It’s breast cancer and they caught it really early, we’re very lucky. I don’t think any of us are ready to lose my mom.”

  “Yeah, it’s hard,” I say softly as I look out the windshield. The pain of my loss of my grandma is still very raw and honestly I don’t know how long it will be until it dulls a little. I miss her and I would give anything to have one more time to tell her how much I love her. I would hate for Tucker to go through this kind of pain and I’m glad that Mrs. McCloud will be okay. That’s a blessing.

  “Well, that’s no way to start a road trip, sorry,” he says with a laugh. He glances over at me with a huge grin and I return it, putting my pain on the back burner. I can be sad later, right now I need to enjoy what is in front of me.

  “Ready for Atlanta?”

  More than he’ll ever know. With each mile we take, I’m that much farther from Rob and man, what a feeling that is.

  “You’re crazy! Wolverine is not better than Spiderman.”

  I roll my eyes. “Hugh Jackman.”

  “That means nothing. That’s only the actor! Spiderman is quick, agile, he spits webs from his hands, Violet! He can fly!”

  “He swings,” I say, bored because obviously Wolverine is ten times the superhero. “Wolverine is played by the gorgeous Hugh Jackman.”

  “You are delusional. That does not make him the best superhero!”

  “Yes it is, because he has adamantium claws that come out and can cut Spiderman’s web thingies. He wins. Hands down. Did I mention that Hugh Jackman was naked in the movie, too?”

  When Tucker’s head falls back in frustration, a smile pulls at my lips.

  This ride is going to be fun.

  Another hour later…

  “You’re kidding me? National Treasure is by far the greatest movie ever.”

  “No way, it’s boring. Oh wait, do you think Nicolas Cage is hot? Is that why you like it?”

  I give him a look as I say, “No, it’s about the history. I love history stuff like that. It’s exciting. I want to be a treasure hunter!”

  “You’re a dork. That stuff isn’t real.”

  “Sure it is! Don’t rain on my parade! You’re just jealous because I won’t take you on my treasure hunt,” I tease.

  “Of course I am,” he says flashing me a grin. “I am completely hurt by it. But no, really, the movie sucks, you’re crazy.”

  I laugh as I roll my eyes. “Blasphemy! Fine then, what is the greatest movie ever?”

  “That’s easy.”

  “Okay? What then?”

  He glances over at me before saying, “Say Anything, classic 80’s movie.”

  “Seriously?” I ask.

  “Seriously. It’s a masterpiece.”

  “Shut up,” I say with a