Grotesque Read online

  “I’m going to take a taxi the rest of the way,” he said, as he began to climb in.

  “Professor, when will I be able to see you again?”

  “Next week. Call me. Say it’s Sat from Q University. I’ll have my assistant put you through.”

  The way he said it was a bit haughty, but I didn’t mind. I was happy. Yoshizaki had recognized my talent, my superiority. What a fortunate chance meeting ours had been.

  Once I made the crest of the hill on Dogenzaka Avenue, I turned to look back toward Shibuya Station. The road rose in a gentle curve. It was past midnight and a breeze had come up, fairly strong for October. It ruffled the hem of my Burberry coat. My armor during the day was a flowing cape; at night it became Superman’s cape. By day a businesswoman; by night a whore. Inside my cape was an attractive woman’s body. I was capable of using both my brains and my body to make money. Ha!

  The taillights of a taxi winked at me between the trees along the avenue as it slowly made its progress up the hill. A little faster and I would catch it, I thought. Tonight I looked beautiful, full of life. I turned down a narrow street lined with small shops. Perhaps I’d run across someone I know. Tonight of all nights I wanted to give the people at the firm a glimpse of my other self.

  “You look like you’re having a good time.”

  A businessman who appeared to be in his fifties called out to me, squinting as if into a dazzling light. His suit was gray and his dust-covered shoes were worn and shapeless. His suit jacket was open and the sleeve was being tugged down his arm by the strap of the heavy black shoulder bag he was lugging. I could see a men’s magazine stuffed inside the bag. His hair was mostly white and his face was gray and discolored as if he suffered from some kind of liver disease. He looked like the kind of man who’d spread out the pages of a sports paper on a crowded train, oblivious to the discomfort of others; the kind of man always short of cash. Definitely not the type who’d have a job at a prestigious firm like mine. I smiled at him sweetly. Few men ever called out to me in the streets, even when I addressed them first.

  “Are you on your way home?” he asked, somewhat timidly. His voice bore a trace of some kind of accent. Clearly he wasn’t from the city.

  I nodded. “Yes, I am.”

  “Well, would you like to stop off for a cup of tea with me or something?”

  He clearly wasn’t interested in food or even booze. What were his intentions? I wondered. Was he trying to pick me up? Had he figured out I was a prostitute?

  “That would be nice.”

  I’ve got another customer! I felt my heart tighten with excitement. And to have found him so soon on the heels of Yoshizaki. I had to be careful not to lose him; this was my lucky night.

  The man looked down nervously. He wasn’t used to women. I could tell that he was afraid of what was going to transpire and I reverted back to my former self. When I first entered the water trade—you know, prostitution—it was the same for me. I didn’t really understand what men would want and I was full of anxiety. But now I knew. No, that’s not true. I still don’t know. Perplexed myself, I put my hand on the man’s arm. He wasn’t as pleased with my gesture as Yoshizaki had been and he shrank back instinctively. The hawker in front of the cabaret looked at me and laughed. Looks like you’ve snagged yourself an easy mark there, haven’t you, girlie? You bet I have, I thought, as I gazed back at the hawker, my confidence soaring. I’m having fun tonight.

  “Where do you want to go?” the man said.

  “What about a hotel?”

  The man was startled by my directness. “I don’t know. I don’t have that much money. I just thought I’d like to sit and talk with a woman, that’s all. And then you walked past. I didn’t know you were that kind of woman.”

  “Well, how much can you pay?”

  Embarrassed, the man answered in a small, timid voice.

  “Well, if I have to pay the hotel costs, probably around fifteen thousand yen.”

  “We can find a cheap hotel. Some only charge three thousand yen. And I’ll charge you fifteen thousand yen.”

  “In that case, I think I can manage….”

  When I saw him nod, I began to head in the direction of a hotel. The man followed. His right shoulder dropped slightly under the weight of the bag he was carting. He really was a slob. A shabby excuse for a man. But he had called out to me, so I had to treat him like gold.

  I turned back and asked, “How old are you, mister?”

  “I’m fifty-seven.”

  “You look younger. I thought you were probably around fifty.”

  Yoshizaki would have appreciated the compliment. But this man just frowned. Before long we made it to the hotel. It was a love hotel near Shinsen Station, just on the border of Murayama-ch. When I pointed it out to the man, he couldn’t hide his discomfort. I suppose he was regretting his decision to come with me. I glanced at him warily. What if he tried to back out now? I’d need to think of something to keep him, I told myself, surprised at my own temerity. I was used to the agency making all the arrangements.

  When we got to the entrance of the hotel, the man fished out his wallet. I glanced inside and saw that he really did only have two ¥10,000 bills.

  “Don’t worry about it now. You pay later.”

  “Oh? I didn’t know.”

  The man slowly slipped his puny wallet back in his pocket. Looks like he’d never come to a love hotel before either. I was going to have to come up with a way to make him one of my regulars. He wasn’t an ideal customer, but if I could get men like him and Yoshizaki to patronize me regularly, I wouldn’t need to depend on the escort agency. That seemed like the only way out of the rut I was in, my only defense against the onslaught of old age. I picked the smallest room on the third floor and we squeezed into the tiny elevator. It looked as if it could hardly hold more than one person at a time.

  “Let’s talk for a while in the room, shall we? You might not realize it, but I work in the corporate world myself.”

  The man looked at me in surprise. I could tell he was feeling mortified at having been snagged by a prostitute. He was blushing.

  “No, I really do. Once we get to the room I’ll give you my business card and tell you all about it, okay?”

  “Thanks. That’d be nice.”

  The room was small and dirty. The double bed filled it from wall to wall. The paper shoji screen covering the window was torn in places, and the carpet was mottled with stains. The man dropped his shoulder bag to the floor and sighed. He’d removed his shoes and his socks smelled.

  “This for three thousand yen?”

  “It’s the best I could do. This is the cheapest place in Maruyama-ch.”

  “Thanks for trying.”

  “Would you like a beer?”

  The man smiled, and I pulled a bottle of beer out of the minibar. I poured the beer into two glasses and we toasted. The man drank in little sips, almost as if he were lapping it up.

  “What kind of work do you do, mister? Would you mind giving me your business card?”

  The man hesitated for a moment and then pulled a wrinkled card holder out of his suit pocket. “Wakao Arai, Deputy Chief of Operations, Chisen Gold Chemicals, Incorporated.” The company was based in Meguro, it said. I’d never heard of it. Arai stuck out a bony finger and pointed to the name of the company. “We sell chemicals wholesale. The firm is based in Toyama Prefecture, so I doubt you’ve heard of it.”

  I handed him my business card with a self-important flourish. A look of shock washed over Arai’s face.

  “I’m sorry if it’s rude for me to ask, but why do you do this sort of thing if you have such a good job?”

  “Why, you wonder?” I gulped down my beer. “At work nobody pays any attention to me.”

  I’d let slip a bit of my true feelings. It was only until I was thirty that I worked with such zeal. When I turned twenty-nine I was sent to a separate research facility. My rival Yamamoto worked only for four years and then quit to get married.