Grotesque Read online

  “No, no, I wasn’t sleeping yet. I’m a night owl, you know. What were you doing?”

  Listening to their conversation, I could imagine the sludgy juices rising higher and higher in their bodies until they threatened to overflow. My grandfather’s profile exuded joy, a joy that is unattainable if one tries to attain it. Does such a joy really exist? I’ve never experienced a feeling like that and I never want to. Whenever someone is on the verge of such joy, they always run away from me. Am I lonely? Don’t be ridiculous. I had considered my grandfather an ally until he started mooning around. It was a betrayal. That’s the way I felt. If someone finds it lonely to be abandoned, they should behave so others don’t abandon them. But if they want to be left alone, they ought to induce disagreeable people to abandon them. I didn’t want Grandfather or Mitsuru to leave me, but I wanted to get Mitsuru’s mother and Yuriko as far away from me as possible.

  To which group should I assign Kazue? She was an idiot who doted on her father like a little girl and who believed in the miracle motto, Try your best. I didn’t have much use for a stupid girl like that, other than to keep her nearby to control.

  Next morning, that idiot Kazue came over to thank me.

  “I’m really grateful to you for not telling my father about me last night. My father was furious and I was terrified, but you denied it all and really bailed me out.”

  “So did your father forgive you?”

  “Yes. Everything’s okay now.”

  It would take time before Kazue could escape the spell her father had cast over her. Perhaps a lifetime. An interesting idea. I would create an opening for Kazue’s escape, which I would then take delight in personally destroying. Yes. When I saw Kazue I felt like a god, manipulating that dunce like a puppet on a string.

  You think Kazue started behaving strangely because I bullied her? No, that’s not the case. I’ve said it any number of times before: Kazue was just too naïve, too pure. It’s not just that she didn’t see the world around her. She couldn’t even see herself. I’d like the following to stay just between us: Kazue had a secret confidence in her own looks. I came across her countless times staring at herself in the mirror. She would smile at herself, and her face would take on a look of ecstasy. She was vain.

  Both Kazue and her father could not accept the fact that there could possibly be anyone else with more intellectual ability than they had. And Kazue would never accept the fact that a woman with equal ability would always be more successful if she was beautiful. Put another way, could there have been anyone happier than Kazue?

  In contrast to Mitsuru and me—who knew to polish our natural gifts in order to survive—Kazue was overly ignorant of her own self. A woman who does not know herself has no choice other than to live with other people’s evaluations. But no one can adapt perfectly to public opinion. And herein lies the source of their destruction.

  FIVE • MY CRIMES: ZHANG’S WRITTEN REPORT

  • 1 •

  JUDGE: Please verify that your name is Zhang Zhe-zhong, a native of Dayi City, Baoxing County, in Sichuan Province of the People’s Republic of China, born February 10, 1966.

  DEFENDANT: Yes, that is true.

  JUDGE: You presently reside at apartment 404 of the Matoya Building, 4–5 Maruyama-ch, Shibuya Ward, in the city of Tokyo; and you are employed by Dreamer. Is that correct?

  DEFENDANT: That is correct.

  JUDGE: You’ve stated that you do not need an interpreter. Are you certain?

  DEFENDANT: Yes. My Japanese is good. I’m certain.

  JUDGE: Very well. Will the attorney for the prosecution read aloud the indictment?

  INDICTMENT

  On this day of November 1, the twelfth year of Heisei (2000), the District Attorney for the city of Tokyo, as herein represented by D.A. Noro Yoshiaki, indicts Zhang Zhe-zhong, a citizen of the People’s Republic of China, born February 10, 1966, currently a hotel employee and residing at Matoya Building #404, 4–5 Maruyama-ch, Shibuya-ku, Tokyo, before the Tokyo District Court on the following charges:

  COUNT NO. 1

  While the defendant was an employee at the Shangri-la, a Chinese restaurant in Kabuki-ch, Shinjuku-ku, he went to unit number 205 of Hope Heights apartments, 5–12 kubo, Shinjuku-ku, on June 5, 1999, and at approximately 3 a.m. used both hands to strangle Yuriko Hirata (then 37), thus causing her death by asphyxiation. Thereafter the defendant removed from the purse of the afore-named victim ¥20,000 and took an 18-carat gold necklace (valued at the time at ¥70,000) from her person.

  COUNT NO. 2

  The same defendant went to unit number 103 of Green Villa Apartments, 4–5 Maruyama-ch, Shibuya-ku, on April 9, 2000, and at approximately midnight strangled with both hands Kazue Sat (then 39), thus causing her death by asphyxiation. Subsequently he removed ¥40,000 from the victim’s purse.

  CHARGES AND PENALTIES

  Count No. 1: The defendant is charged with burglary and murder in accordance with Article 240, Part Two, of the Penal Code.

  Count No. 2: The defendant is charged with burglary and murder in accordance with Article 240, Part Two, of the Penal Code.

  JUDGE: We will begin the trial on the charges the district attorney has just read. But before proceeding I will inform the defendant of his rights. You have the right to remain silent, and so during these pro ceedings you may choose to remain silent. Should you answer a question, you are not under obligation to answer subsequent questions. However, should you choose to answer a question, anything you say may be used in evidence against you, so I urge you to exercise caution. You have heard the aforementioned conditions. I would like to take this opportunity to ask you if you have any response to the charges against you as read into the record by the prosecuting attorney.

  DEFENDANT: I admit to killing Yuriko Hirata, but I did not murder Kazue Sat.

  JUDGE: You plead guilty to the charges in the first count but not to the charges in the second count?

  DEFENDANT: Correct.

  JUDGE: And what about the charges of robbery?

  DEFENDANT: I stole Miss Hirata’s money and necklace, but I did not steal from Miss Sat.

  JUDGE: Attorney for the defense, what is your statement?

  DEFENSE ATTORNEY: I concur with the defendant.

  JUDGE: Very well. Will the attorney for the prosecution please read your opening arguments.

  OVERVIEW OF THE PROSECUTION’S OPENING ARGUMENTS: COUNT NO. 1 OF THE INDICTMENT

  Item 1: The Defendant’s Personal History

  The defendant was born on February 10, 1966, in Sichuan Province of the People’s Republic of China as the third son of Zhang Xiao-niu (currently 68) a farmer, and Zhang Xiu-lan (currently 61). The defendant has four siblings: his oldest brother, An-ji (currently 42); a second older brother, Gen-de; an older sister, Mei-hua (currently 40); and a younger sister, Mei-kun. Note that the second brother, Gen-de, died in childhood and the younger sister Mei-kun died in an accident in 1992. The defendant graduated from the local elementary school at the age of 12 and henceforth began to help the family with farming.

  In 1989 the defendant decided to leave home to secure better employment. He and his younger sister, Mei-kun, boarded a train to Guang-dong Province and sought employment in Guangzhou City. In 1991 they moved to Shenzhen City, also in Guangdong Province.

  In 1992 the defendant and his younger sister, Mei-kun, stowed away on a ship sailing from Fujian Province, planning to enter Japan illegally. Although Mei-kun drowned in the process, the defendant was successful and entered our country illegally at Ishigaki Island. While concealing his illegal status, he found successive employment in the cleaning and cooking sectors. He also had jobs in construction. In 1998 he worked at a bar in Shinjuku known as Nomisuke, and in 1999 he began working at a tavern, also in Shinjuku, known as Shangri-la. In July of that same year he began employment at Dreamer, a love hotel in the Honmachi neighborhood of Kichijji, Musashino City. The defendant is not known to be married. According to housing records, he lives with individuals