Wishful Thinking Read online

  Phil looked at the remains of the éclair, still smeared all over Mister Clausen’s hand. “It probably doesn’t have anything to do with the poodles getting into the éclair I buried next to the potion in the garden,” she said.

  “Why bring it up if it doesn’t have anything to do with it?” Cass demanded.

  “No, don’t you get it? She’s saying it does have something to do with it,” Rory said. “It’s what I said to the FG—it screwed up her wish and she’s saying the opposite of everything she thinks.”

  “Phil, is that right?” Cass turned toward her, frowning.

  “No.” Phil said, nodding her head frantically.

  “Wait—so you’re saying you buried an éclair right by the potion where the dogs could get to it?”

  “No,” Phil said, nodding again.

  “Well, I’m sure she didn’t mean to,” Rory defended her.

  “Mister Clausen, I must insist that you keep your distance!” their grandmother’s shriek made Phil look up again. Mister Clausen was trying to steal a kiss and Nana wasn’t having any of it. She was trying to keep him at arm’s length, but he was more determined than his poodles.

  “Just one little kiss, Minerva, darlin’,” he wheedled, dodging the broom Nana was poking at him like a martial arts expert. “I never realized what a sexy little lady you are.”

  “That’s it.” Cass started to march forward through the forest of yapping, crapping poodles, a grim look on her face. But Phil had an idea.

  “Wait!” She put a hand on Cass’ arm to stop her, still eyeing the éclair smeared on Mister Clausen’s hand. “We can’t lead them all out onto the porch and spray them down with the hose,” she said, hoping her sisters would understand her opposite speak. “There’s no way it would help to get rid of the remains of the potion that’s on the éclair Mister Clausen isn’t holding.”

  “Okay, wait a minute…” Cass seemed to have the hang of it now. “You’re saying we have Nana make a mad dash for the door, leading the poodles and Mister Clausen outside, then spray them all with the hose to get rid of the potion?”

  “No!” Phil exclaimed, nodding emphatically.

  “Actually that’s a really good idea,” Rory said.

  “Probably the best we’re going to get anyway,” Cass muttered. “Okay, Phil, you go man the hose since nothing you say makes sense. Be ready to spray the minute I yell go.”

  “What do you want me to do?” Rory asked.

  Cass turned to her. “Grab Nana’s hand and help her off the couch. You pull her out the door while I keep Mister Clausen and those crazy dogs off her. Lead her outside so Phil can blast them with then hose when they follow. Everybody got it? Okay—go!”

  Phil ran outside. It was a good thing she was still wearing the sky blue polka-dotted bikini, she thought, as she went for the hose. She turned on the water and pulled the long coiled length with its spray attachment around to the front steps, ready to let loose on the pack of potion drenched dogs plus one elderly man.

  “Ready?” Cass shouted.

  “No!” Phil yelled back, her finger tightening on the trigger.

  “Okay then, we’re coming out.”

  There was a scuffling sound and Phil could hear Nana protesting, then she and Rory came running out of the house, hand in hand, followed closely by Cass with the broom in her hands. Behind Cass, trying to get around the broom, was Mister Clausen. The nineteen or twenty now-more-brown-than-white miniature poodles were hot on his heels.

  Phil waited until Nana, Rory, and Cass were past and then opened fire at Mister Clausen. She only caught him a glancing blow but she sprayed the poodles pretty well. Then the whole bizarre parade was around the corner of the house and she had to wait for them to go all the way around the porch and come back to the front again.

  On the next go round, she managed to spray Mister Clausen in the face but he only sputtered and kept right on after Nana. Her grandmother was running quite nimbly despite her age, Phil noted, and it wasn’t long before they were around the corner again.

  Around and around they went, Nana, Rory, and Cass, followed by a bellowing Mister Clausen and the yapping poodles, all of them getting progressively wetter. By the fifth circuit, some of the poodles were beginning to lose interest and were straggling down onto the front lawn to shake out their sodden fur. But there was no stopping Mister Clausen. Phil couldn’t help but wonder if he had already had an interest in her grandmother that the potion had exacerbated. She kept trying to aim for the soggy remains of the éclair in his hand but he was moving too fast for her to hit it.

  “Mister…Clausen…please!” Nana huffed as they made what had to be the tenth circuit of the house. “I…just…can’t…”

  “Minerva…I…want…” But what Mister Clausen wanted wasn’t to be revealed. Just as Phil was preparing to spray him again, his foot skidded in a puddle of water and he went down on the porch with a flat slapping sound that made Phil wince.

  “He’s down! He’s down!” Rory skidded to a halt, looking over her shoulder.

  “Quick!” Cass was breathing almost as hard as their grandmother. “Get Nana inside. Phil and I will deal with him.”

  Phil threw down the hose as Cass ran to see if Mister Clausen was all right. Luckily for him one of the poodles had wound up between his head and the hard wooden porch, so he wasn’t out cold, just mildly dazed.

  “Are they all right?” Phil gasped. But as she watched, the poodle who had acted as a cushion shook itself and yipped once before trotting down the steps to join its brothers on the lawn. Mister Clausen was muttering something, the remains of the éclair still clutched tight in his hand.

  “What was that Mister Clausen?” Cass asked.

  “Such a…sexy…lady,” Mister Clausen moaned, and fainted dead away.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Rory rounded up the poodles and put them in Mister Clausen’s backyard while Cass called 911 and rode with their neighbor to the ER. Phil stayed to help Nana clean up the considerable mess in the living room, thankful that the house on States Street had hardwood floors instead of carpet. By the time it was all said and done and she and her sisters and grandmother were all gathered back in the living room—which smelled strongly of Lysol—the time was nearing four o’clock.

  “Oh, God, I ache all over,” Rory moaned from her spot on the brown leather recliner. “And I hate poodles. I don’t care if I am going to be a vet—I’m going to be a vet that sees any animal but poodles.”

  Cass gave a weary laugh. “I’ve heard of specializing in a certain kind of animal but never of excluding one.” She and Phil were collapsed on either side of their grandmother, on the wide brown leather sofa which Phil and Nana had cleaned within an inch of its leathery life.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea. If Rory hates poodles, she should deal with them all day long,” Phil said.

  “What’s that, dear?” Nana frowned at her.

  “Don’t pay any attention to Phil, Nana.” Cass made a shooing motion with her hand. “The FG screwed her again so that now she has to say the opposite of everything she means.”

  “She’s wrong, I don’t,” Phil agreed, nodding. She had been luckier than her sisters, having gotten a shower after the ordeal. Of course, there was nothing for her to put on afterwards but Cass’s little red nighty since neither Rory or Nana’s clothes would fit and everything else Cass owned was in the wash.

  Phil didn’t even care about the fact that she was lounging around in lingerie—she was just so glad to be clean. But now that all the excitement with Nana and Mister Clausen and the poodles was over, she felt her heart growing heavy. Josh was probably on his way to the airport by now.

  “It’s all my fault.” Rory looked like she might cry. “It was something stupid I said when Phil was trying to get her wish fixed. And now because of me she’s made Josh think she doesn’t like him.”

  “I don’t more than like him,” Phil said sadly. “In fact, I think I don’t love him.”

&nbs