Wishful Thinking Read online

  Josh gave a warm chuckle. “Uh, you seem to have a thing for my hands, Phil. In your dreams, anyway.”

  She smiled shyly at him and took his free hand in both of hers. “Well…I don’t know, you have nice hands. Chris…I mean, other men I’ve known have really well-manicured hands, but they’re too soft. I hate that. Now your hands are big and gentle and warm but they’re a little bit rough, too—like you spend some time working with them outside of work.”

  Josh grinned at her. “You got me, Swann. I’m a diesel mechanic on my off hours.” He entwined his long fingers with hers and his expression turned serious again. “So far my dream self seems to be doing a pretty good job, if I do say so myself.”

  Phil laughed at him but she didn’t let go of his hand. “Well, you were. We were kind of…rolling all over the bed, all pressed together and then you started…you were kissing me everywhere.”

  “Everywhere?” One side of Josh’s mouth pulled up in a lazy grin. “Details, Swann. Where was ‘everywhere’?”

  She felt her breath catch in her throat and it was a minute before she could go on. “Like…like my breasts. You were…you kissed them and kissed my…my nipples too.” She looked down at their entwined hands. “You sucked them.”

  “I was sucking your nipples?” His eyes darkened again. “How did that feel?” he asked softly.

  Phil looked up at him. “Amazing,” she said honestly. “It was…it was the most realistic dream I’ve ever had. I could feel your mouth on me—hot and wet and you were…it was so nice because you were taking your time, sucking each one until I was so turned on I couldn’t stand it any more.”

  Josh seemed to catch his breath and he shifted in the seat beside her. “And what did you do when you couldn’t stand it?” He was close now, close enough to kiss. Close enough that she could see each separate whisker on his strong jaw and the little crease at the corner of his mouth that turned into a lopsided smile when he was amused. But he wasn’t amused now, Phil could tell by the serious look in his eyes and the set of his full lips.

  “I…” Phil looked down at their hands again, unable to hold his gaze. She was gripping her friend’s hand tightly but he didn’t seem to mind. “I begged you to make love to me,” she whispered.

  She could feel his warm breath against the side of her neck when he whispered, “Did I?”

  “Not…not yet. You said you wanted to see…wanted to know if I was really ready or not.” She could feel the burn of embarrassment heating her cheeks again as she spoke. “I…I think I dreamed that because Chris…because my fiancé never bothers anymore. To find out if I really want to or…”

  “I’m sorry, Phil. That sucks.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to think about that right now.” She looked up at Josh. “I think…I want to finish telling you about my dream. If you want to hear it, I mean.”

  “I do.” He smiled at her. “I very much want to hear it, actually. So tell me…” He drew her a little closer with his arm, his fingers stroking her shoulder gently. “How did I, uh, make sure you were ready?”

  “Well, first you touched me.” Phil’s heart rate had picked up again and she could scarcely believe she was telling him this part. “You…you spread my legs open and stroked me very…very gently. It felt…” She shook her head. “It felt so good—like I could actually feel your fingers touching me. And then you…” She trailed off, then took his index and middle fingers in her palm, gripping them tightly.

  “I put my fingers inside you?” Josh guessed softly. Phil nodded, feeling her cheeks flame. Josh’s voice dropped even lower as he leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “Deep inside you, Phil?”

  The gentle rumble of his voice made something inside her throb. Again she nodded, reliving the dream. “You…you did. It felt so good.”

  “Mm-hmm.” He shifted in the seat again, the muscles of his flat stomach bunching behind her. “Can I ask you something, Phil? In your dream, when I touched you, were you turned on? Were you wet?”

  Phil caught her breath and for a moment she was afraid she might start panting. “Yes,” she murmured, daring to look up and meet his eyes. “I was. I think because…because I wanted you so badly. Wanted to feel you touching me.”

  It was Josh’s turn to catch his breath and she saw that his eyes were deep pools of need. “Phil,” he said softly, “Are you wet now, talking to me like this? Telling me about your dream?”

  Phil bit her lip and pressed her thighs together tightly, feeling the undeniable moisture gathering there. God! Who knew simply talking could make her heart race and her breath come short? And talking to the man she had always thought was only a friend.

  “I’m sorry.” Josh seemed to feel he had crossed a line. “I didn’t…maybe I shouldn’t have asked you that.” His eyes were troubled.

  “No.” Phil wanted to let him know she wasn’t offended. But he was right—they were moving fast out of the friend zone and were headed for dangerous territory. Territory she wasn’t ready to explore just yet. Or maybe ever. “No, I just…maybe I should just stick to the dream,” she said at last.

  “All right.” Josh murmured. “So I was touching you…getting you ready. And what happened next? Did we make love?”

  “Not yet.” She looked down again, feeling a small stab of panic in her heart. Now here was something she wished she could skip. But the wish was very thorough.

  “What happened next?” He seemed paralyzed, waiting for her to go on.

  “I don’t…it’s hard to say.” Phil squeezed her eyes closed. What she was about to describe—the thing that had happened next in her dream—was something Christian had never cared for very much. In fact, he’d only tried it once or twice early in their relationship before giving it up for good. But it was something that Phil, much to her shame, secretly craved.

  “Phil, open your eyes and look at me,” Josh directed. His deep voice was almost stern.

  She did as he said, and found herself falling into those brown depths again. “Listen to me,” Josh said softly. “Whatever it was, it was only a dream. And I want to know what you dream about. I always have.”

  “All right.” She took a deep, trembling breath and stared at a spot on the dashboard of Josh’s car. “You…you started kissing your way down my body,” she said, trying to get the words out quickly. “My breasts, my stomach, my hips. Until you were…until your mouth was where your fingers had been.”

  “Hmm.” Josh’s deep voice sounded intrigued. “Are you saying I went down on you, Phil?”

  “Uh-huh.” She dared to look up at him and saw that something she couldn’t define in his eyes again. “How do you…I mean, I hope that doesn’t, um, you know, turn you off or…”

  “What?” He gave a low, warm chuckle that she could feel vibrating through her side where she was pressed against him. “Why would the idea of going down on you turn me off?”

  She shrugged uncomfortably. “I don’t know. Maybe because it was one of those things I was talking about earlier. Those things that I miss because I never, I mean, my fiancé and I never, uh, do them anymore.”

  “Phil…” Josh untangled his hand from her and reached up to cup her hot cheek. “I want to be completely honest with you but I don’t want to offend you or make you uncomfortable.”

  “Go on.” Phil let her eyes meet his again, and the intensity of her friend’s gaze almost took her breath away. If hearing her X-rated dream didn’t offend Josh, she didn’t see how anything he would say would offend her.

  “The idea of going down on you, of spreading you open and tasting you there—of putting my tongue inside you until you moan and beg me to do more, well…” Josh lowered his voice. “I have to say I find that…incredibly arousing. Incredibly hot.” The warm brown eyes were full of an unspoken desire that made her bite her lip. He was so close…it would be so easy to reach up and cup his jaw and pull him down to her. She could almost feel the sandpapery scratch of his whiskers against her palm and the warm press of hi