Wishful Thinking Read online

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Swann? Hey, Swann?”

  Phil looked up from the patch of asphalt next to her Volkswagen to see her best friend running towards her. Even in her distressed state, she couldn’t help noticing that he moved very gracefully for such a tall guy. She was also relieved to see that Josh was carrying several bags in one hand and one of them was her purse. She’d been in such a hurry to get out of the BB&D building that she’d completely forgotten about it. So for the last fifteen minutes she’d been pacing beside her car in the hot parking garage, trying to work up the nerve to go back for it. But after that scene with Dickson she hadn’t felt able to face any of her coworkers again. Not today, anyway.

  “Hi, Bowman,” she said listlessly as he jogged up to her and handed her the purse.

  “Thought you might need that.” He smiled at her but there was a concerned look in his deep brown eyes. “Hey, Swann, you wanna tell me what’s going on? I heard through the grapevine that you yelled at Kelli and Alison, and some of the other paralegals were saying that you told Dickhead Junior where he could put it during your review.”

  “I didn’t yell at them,” Phil mumbled, looking at her feet. “I told Kelli to shut up and called Alison a slut. Oh, and I think I threatened to trash Alison’s car if she parked in my spot one more time.”

  Josh broke into surprised laughter and raked a hand through his thick brown hair. He was wearing a dark blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing a few inches of tan skin on his wrists. “Damn, Swann! And the thing about Dick Junior?”

  Phil sighed. “That’s true too. He…” She peeked up at Josh, but glanced away quickly. “He told me that I’d had three complaints filed against me and hinted that if I was willing to…to sleep with him…” She was unable to go on. “I’m sorry, it makes me nauseous just thinking about it.”

  “That asshole.” Josh’s voice deepened and she thought she could see his biceps flexing beneath the blue shirt. Suddenly he seemed twice as large. “I’m going to give him more than a virus this time,” he growled. His brown eyes were flat and cold and Phil thought if Dickson Junior could see him at that moment he would run away with his tail between his legs.

  “No, Josh—don’t.” Phil put out a hand to stop him. “Don’t go all alpha male on me. Bad enough I got my own self fired. I don’t want you to lose your job too.”

  “Phil, don’t you know the only reason I stay in this job is—” Josh broke off, shaking his head.

  “What?” Phil looked at him, a feeling of unease plucking at her frayed nerves. “Josh, are you trying to tell me something? You’re not…you wouldn’t stay here just because…because of me, would you?” It sounded so ridiculous leaving her mouth that she wanted to unsay it at once. They were best friends, but of course Josh wouldn’t stick around in a dead end job for her—that was well above and beyond the call of friendship. Wasn’t it?

  Josh looked at her for a long moment, his full mouth still tight with anger and his deep brown eyes full of indecision. At last he let out a breath and she was relieved to see his fists unclench. “Now why would I hang around this dump just for you, Swann?” he asked, trying to grin. “I mean, you’re a great friend and all that, but you have to know I’m sticking with BB&D for all the intangible benefits—like seeing my coworkers in their oh-so-fashionable swimwear at the beach party.”

  “Of course.” Phil laughed uneasily. She had a feeling that a very awkward scene had narrowly been averted and she didn’t know whether to feel relieved or disappointed. “Too bad you’ll have to watch the parade of bathing beauties without me this year.”

  Josh looked surprised. “Oh—you’re not fired. No way can you get out of here that easily. I mean, you have to go to an HR review tomorrow, but you didn’t lose your job.”

  “Yet,” Phil said morosely. “Dickson’s cousin is the head of the BB&D Human Resources department. That’s one reason I never complained about him before.”

  “Doesn’t matter.” Josh frowned. “Go in there and tell it like it is, tomorrow. You think you’re the first person to make a complaint against Dickhead Junior? They’re a law firm, Swann. They know you could sue and what it could do to their rep. Doesn’t matter how inbred the damn BB&D staff is, they’ll have to take you seriously.”

  “You think so?” Phil lifted her head, feeling a glimmer of hope.

  “Sure I do,” Josh said gently, giving her a more genuine grin. “You’ll probably have to answer for telling off Kelli and Alison too, but what the hell—they had it coming.” He cleared his throat with a low rumble. “There was, um, I mean, I did hear one more thing though…about, uh, what’s his name? The dark-haired lawyer that Alison’s always hitting on?”

  “Oh.” Phil felt miserable all over again. “Davis Miles.”

  “Yeah, uh…” Josh sounded uncomfortable. “Now this is crazy, but you know how office gossip is. I heard that you, uh, asked him to, uh, to take off his clothes.”

  “No, I didn’t,” Phil protested. “I only said I wondered what he looked like naked.” She could feel her cheeks burning with shame. “And it wasn’t because I really wanted to see him, uh, you know, naked. It was just…haven’t you ever looked at a pretty girl and thought that she’d look good without her clothes?”

  Josh coughed into his hand. “Uh, sure, Swann,” he said, looking uncomfortable. “But ya know, I try not to tell her, I mean, them to their faces. That’s usually the kind of thought you want to keep to yourself.”

  “Well that’s just it. It’s, well…it’s really hard to explain.” Phil crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at him, wondering how much about her bungled wish the FG’s magic would let her tell. She would have to phrase things carefully or Josh wouldn’t hear anything but a buzzing sound.

  “Try.” Josh frowned slightly. “I’m listening.” And, as always, Phil got the feeling that he really was. It gave her hope that she might be able to find a way to make him understand.

  “See, lately I have this…this thing where everything I’m thinking seems to come right out my mouth,” she said hesitantly.

  “Go on.” Josh motioned for her to continue.

  “No matter how insulting or inappropriate it is—it just pops right out,” Phil said. He was getting it! She could tell by the look on his face. What a relief to be able to explain to someone. “It’s almost like having Tourettes Syndrome. I can’t stop it, I just—” She broke off, her eyes widening as a new thought occurred to her.

  Josh was her best friend—the one person in the world she didn’t want to drive away. Up until now she’d been so preoccupied with the office debacle that she hadn’t had any embarrassing thoughts to reveal. But what if she thought and then said something so awful he never wanted to talk to her again? At this point she didn’t know what might come out of her mouth. Phil froze, her mouth still open.

  “What? What is it?” Josh leaned forward, one large hand out as though to take her arm.

  Phil backed away from him. “Look, Josh, no offense but I have to go. I can’t… I don’t want to say…” Please don’t let me say anything to hurt him! Please don’t let me say anything that will ruin our friendship!

  “What?” You don’t want to say what?” He followed as Phil backed away, her sensible black pumps scraping against the concrete of the parking area.

  “Josh, please!” Phil was feeling desperate now. Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow. “Please,” she said urgently. “Just go! I’ve told off or offended everyone in my life today. I don’t…I don’t want to drive you away, too.”

  “Is that all? You think you can get rid of me by telling me to fuck off like you did Dickhead Junior?”

  “I didn’t say I wanted to tell you to…to do that,” Phil said. Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb… “I just, I don’t know what I might say. And I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to lose your friendship. Please, Josh!” She had backed all the way around he