Wishful Thinking Read online

  “What do you want?” Dickson snarled. “Philomena and I are having a little talk here. So leave.”

  “I don’t think so.” Josh’s voice was deceptively mild but Phil could see the muscles in his chest and upper arms bunching with tension. She was surprised that her boss wasn’t a little more frightened at the sight of Josh looming over him like a thundercloud about to explode. His jaw was clenched and so were his fists. But apparently Dickson was so used to being in charge, he didn’t see the danger.

  “Josh,” she said desperately, shaking her head. She didn’t want to be the reason Josh lost his job and the testosterone was suddenly so thick she could have cut it with a knife. Violence was imminent.

  “Let her go,” Josh said softly, still looking at her boss. “I won’t say it again, Dickson.”

  Dickson took a deep, growling breath that jiggled his hair belly and glared up at Josh. “And I won’t say this again—Philomena and I are having an important discussion and until we reach an understanding, she’s not going anywhere. So just turn around and leave, Bowman, or you can kiss your job goodbye.”

  “Then I guess you can consider this my two weeks’ notice.” Josh took a step forward, his brown eyes narrowed with rage. He moved so quickly his fist was a blur and Phil didn’t even see the punch until it landed right in Dickson’s face. Her boss didn’t see it either because he didn’t even try to duck. The next thing Phil knew, Dickson was down on the sand holding his streaming nose with both hands and yelping like a kicked dog.

  “Come on.” Josh grabbed her hand and pulled her away.

  Chapter Thirty

  “Oh my God, Josh! What did you…? Why did you…?” Phil looked up at her best friend in shock.

  “He had it coming,” Josh said shortly, shaking out his hand as though his knuckles hurt. “Hardheaded son of a bitch—I think he broke my hand.” He gave a short, barking laugh.

  Phil looked at him anxiously. “Josh, I just don’t… Why did you do that? Your job—”

  “Screw the job.” He frowned at her, the muscle in his strong jaw still jumping. “You don’t know how often I’ve wanted to punch that asshole, Phil. That was for every time he ever pinched you or touched you or made a nasty remark. For every time he made you cry.”

  “Oh, Josh…” Right there under the deep blue sky and the hot Florida sun, Phil felt her heart melting like a Popsicle. All her doubts seemed to fade away. How many times had she tried to tell Christian what she went through at work, only to be put off because he was too busy or too tired to hear it? Josh not only listened—he cared enough to do something about it. True, what he had done was macho and over the top and would probably get him fired, but just the fact that he didn’t care if he lost his job as long as he got vengeance for her made her feel even warmer.

  Phil put her arms around his neck and hugged him hard. Did she love him? Hell yes! Did she want him in her life as more than a friend? Most definitely. She still wanted to take things slow but she was sure Josh would understand that when she explained how she felt.

  Josh pulled her close and wrapped her tight in his arms. He nuzzled his face against the side of her neck and Phil felt a shiver of pleasure run through her at the intimate contact. The hard, muscular wall of his chest felt wonderful pressed against her body and the scent of his skin, warm and spicy, filled her senses.

  “I love your hair this way,” he murmured in her ear. “And I’m glad you wore the suit.” He pulled back a little to look her up and down and then glanced at the pale blue expanse above them. “And I was right—it is the exact color of your eyes when the sky is clear.”

  Phil still didn’t understand how he could notice such things but she didn’t care either. All that mattered was that she had realized her true feelings for her friend before it was too late. Before he got on the plane for California and she never saw him again. Just the thought made her apprehensive and a new worry entered her head. If he lost his job here for punching out Dickson, the job in California was going to look twice as attractive.

  “Josh?” she asked, looking up at him uncertainly. “Are you still going on that job interview?”

  He shrugged, his broad shoulders rolling. “Well, I probably should seeing that I’m pretty sure my talents won’t be needed at BB&D any more. But…” He looked down at her hopefully. “Can you give me a reason to stay? I mean, I know it’s not fair to ask while you’re still with Christian…”

  Phil shook her head mutely, afraid her words would come out wrong.

  “So you’re not with him anymore?” Josh’s face showed a cautious optimism

  “I…” Phil shook her head again, emphatically, and clamped her lips shut.

  “Phil that’s…God!” he pulled her close again and she shivered when she felt his warm breath against the skin of her throat. “Does this mean you think we could be more than friends?” Josh murmured in her ear. He stroked her hair and pressed a slow, hot kiss to the side of her throat, just the way he had in the RipTide dressing room the day before. “Much more than friends?”

  Yes! Yes, I want you in my life as much more than a friend. She opened her mouth and said, “No. I’m sorry, Josh, but I just can’t see you in my life as anything more than a good friend.” Oh, God—now what?

  Josh pulled away. “Phil, are you sure? I mean… Maybe I’m coming on too strong. I just…I know you’re probably going to want to take some time if you just got out of a relationship and this is moving kind of fast but I can’t help it…I love you.”

  I love you too! I want this as much as you do! I think I’ve always loved you; I just couldn’t let myself admit it while Christian was in the way.

  “I’m sorry, Josh,” her traitorous mouth said instead. “But I don’t love you. I don’t think I ever had those feelings for you.”

  Josh was pale beneath his tan. He gave a shaky laugh and ran both hands through his thick brown hair. “Okay, well, that’s…” He shrugged. “I guess that’s it then. I’m uh, sorry I misinterpreted your feelings.”

  Phil wanted to die. She wanted a hole to open up right there on the beach and swallow her up. Why was her fairy godmother such a bitch? She was losing the sweetest, kindest, best man she had ever known all because of a bit of magic gone wrong. Surely there must be a way around it!

  “Wait, I…” She dropped her beach bag, grabbed Josh’s hand and pulled him towards the wet, packed sand closer to the water.

  “Phil, look, I really…”

  “Wait. Look.” Phil found what she was looking for—a long thin piece of driftwood lying on the wet sand. She grabbed it and began writing in straggling letters along the surf. Josh, I am so not in lo… Crap! Phil looked at what she’d written and kicked sand over it. She moved down the beach, the sun beating on her head like a hammer and her heart pounding in her chest as she tried again. I don’t love y… was as far as she got this time. Dammit! The stupid wish wouldn’t even let her write what she really felt.

  “Phil, look. I get the picture—you don’t feel like I do. But you don’t have to write it out. I can take a hint—I’ll go.”

  No! Don’t go! “Yes, I guess you’d better leave,” Phil heard herself saying.

  Josh muttered something that sounded like, “Sorry.” The set of his broad shoulders was stiff and angry but Phil thought she saw the glitter of tears in his warm brown eyes as he turned. She’d driven away not only her best friend but also very possibly the love of her life.

  Standing in the wet sand watching him walk away from her, Phil felt her eyes filling with tears. She wanted to run after him, to stop him from going, but what good would it do? She would only hurt him more because she couldn’t help what came out of her mouth. The more she wanted him, the more she loved him, the more her words would drive him away.

  She could imagine life with Josh so clearly—waking up with him in the morning, falling asleep with him at night, being held in his arms, laughing with him, loving him. And all of that was going straight down the drain because of her rotten, stupid