Wishful Thinking Read online

  Phil felt her heart sink a little. In the back of her mind, she’d been thinking that no matter how horrible the HR review turned out to be, at least she still had Josh’s company to look forward to afterwards. But she didn’t want him to feel worse when he was already so stressed out.

  “Well, I probably won’t need a suit anyway.” She shrugged. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I’ll be fired, and they’ll rescind my invite to beach day.”

  “Shit.” Josh ran both hands through his hair this time which made him look almost wild. “I’m so sorry, Phil. I completely forgot. Look, no matter what happens just remember you have at least one person on your side. If they kick you out, I’ll walk too.”

  “Hey, no, you don’t have to do that.” She was a little taken aback at his offer, even more so because she knew Josh didn’t go back on his word. If he said he’d quit his job if BB&D fired her, he meant it.

  “Hell.” Josh gave a shaky laugh and yanked at his tie. “If I don’t get the damn computer system working again, it’ll be a moot point because they’ll hand me my walking papers and we can leave together.”

  “Oh, Josh, I’m so sorry.” Phil wanted to pull him into her arms and just hold him close, wanted to comfort him the way he had comforted her the day before in his car. But she was well aware that they were in a public hallway and anything they did would be grist for the office rumor mill. So instead she reached out and squeezed his arm, trying to put all her sympathy and compassion into the small gesture.

  He smiled. “It’s all right, Swann. Anyway, I thought I was the one who was supposed to be comforting you.”

  Phil smiled back, relieved to see the easing of tension around his brown eyes. “Comfort is a two way street, you know. You certainly gave me enough of it yesterday. I owe you some.”

  “You don’t owe me anything,” Josh said, suddenly serious. He took a step closer to her. “The pleasure of comforting you, of holding you in my arms, was all mine.”

  “Wow, Josh. That’s… beautiful. Thank you.” Phil was a little taken aback by his intense statement until she remembered her reversed wish. Well, if this is the worst thing he has to say to me, it’s no sweat, she thought.

  Judging by the look on his face, Josh was surprised at his words, as well. “Okay, enough mooshy stuff.” He jammed his hands deep in his pockets and leaned one shoulder against the pale pink wall. “You have to go to your HR review and I have to go back and slay the flaming server dragon or die trying. So here goes—quick pep talk. You first.”

  “Um…” Phil thought fast. This was a game they sometimes played on the phone when one of them was having a crappy day but was too busy to stop for a full fledged “bitch session” as Josh called it. “You can handle this, Bowman,” she said, looking him in the eye like a basketball coach with a star player during the Final Four. “You’re the smartest guy I know and if anyone can find out what’s going on with the server it’s you. You’re going to go back there and look at things from a fresh angle and find out what’s wrong. Then you’re going to…to…to fix the shit out of it and get done in time to come bathing suit shopping with me anyway. And…and see me buy the first bikini I’ve had since I was twelve.” She put her hands on her hips and smiled. “There—how’s that?”

  Josh laughed—the same deep sound she’d grown to love because it warmed her from the inside out. “Fix the shit out of it?” His melted chocolate eyes twinkled. “Damn, Swann! And are you telling me I get to see you in a teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini if I succeed in my quest?”

  “Well…” Phil felt herself blushing. “I was trying to motivate you. But when you put it that way it doesn’t sound very motivating, I guess.”

  “Oh, no, it’s motivating.” Josh was serious again. “I’ve known you for years but all I ever get to see you in is your office clothes. Well, except for last year’s beach day, but you wore shorts and a T-shirt to that. Hardly Playboy material. Not that I haven’t imagined you in much more revealing outfits, of course.” He seemed to catch himself and looked confused. “Uh…” He dug his hands deeper into his pockets. “God, Phil, I’m sorry. That was…well, I don’t know where that came from.”

  “I do. I mean, um… I just…” Phil shrugged but inside she couldn’t help feeling a little tingle. So Josh actually imagined her in different outfits? In sexy outfits? She knew it was wrong to feel secretly pleased about what he had revealed under the power of her fairy godmother’s screwed up magic, but she couldn’t help it. After all, it had been so long since Christian showed any interest in her that way. It felt good to be noticed—good to be wanted.

  “Phil, really, I…”

  She realized that Josh was still looking abashed, no doubt thinking that he had offended her.

  “Look, don’t worry about it.” Phil glanced at her watch and saw that it was getting late. “I need to get to my desk. So come on—pep talk. Give it to me quick.”

  “Okay, okay.” Josh cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. “You’re sweet and wonderful and way too smart to be working here,” he said. “And you’ve got more class in your little finger that everybody else in the rest of this whole damn place put together. You’re gonna get out of here and go to law school so no matter what happens in there, I want you to remember that. I also want you to remember that…that, uh…” His eyes suddenly darkened and Phil caught a glimpse of that certain something she’d seen in them the day before when they had let their barriers slip by mutual agreement. “Remember that you’re beautiful,” Josh went on softly. “You’re so beautiful it hurts me to look at you. But I couldn’t stop looking even if it meant I’d go blind. Remember that, Phil.”

  “Oh…uh…” She knew it was just her wish making him talk like that but still, it wasn’t the way their pep talks usually went. Josh usually ended by reminding her not to let the man get her down and giving her a slap on the back. There was no denying, though, that it gave her a thrill to hear that he thought she was beautiful. With her weird hair, too red lips, and changeable eyes (even though people without fae or fairy blood didn’t notice them) Phil had always felt kind of like an ugly duckling. It was nice to hear that someone considered her a swan.

  “I’m sorry.” Josh took his hands out of his pockets to rub his temples. “I didn’t mean…I mean I did, but.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, just remember you’re in the right and Dickhead Junior is in the wrong. And if he lays a hand on you again, I’ll punch his lights out. Okay?”

  “Wow—thanks.” Phil grinned at him. “That’s the best offer I’ve had all day.” She glanced at her watch again. “Okay, now I really need to get going.”

  “Right—pep talk over.” Josh still looked confused, but now he was distracted again too, no doubt thinking about the problems ahead of him.

  “See you later. And good luck.” Phil turned for her cubicle.

  “Right. Go get ‘em, tiger. And call me when it’s over.” He sketched her a quick salute and was gone around the corner back to the tech department. Phil sighed and headed for her cubicle, as well. It was time to face the music and she had a feeling she wasn’t going to like what she had to hear.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Ms. Swann? The head of HR will see you now.” Mrs. Bloom, Herbert Dickson’s ancient secretary seemed to impart the words with a tolling, bell-like doom. Or maybe that was just Phil’s nerves acting up. It was almost noon and she’d been waiting for the better part of an hour in the HR director’s outer office, wondering when the review was going to start. She felt like a kid called to the principal’s office and made to wait for a paddling.

  The only bright spot in her day was that she hadn’t had to hear any more wild outbursts. She’d spent most of the early morning working quietly at her desk while her coworkers avoided her like the plague. As long as they didn’t get too close and Phil didn’t interact with them, the wish didn’t make them blurt out their thoughts and feelings. It was a relief not to have any confrontations after two days straight of nothin