Wishful Thinking Read online

  Josh gave a shaky laugh. “Okay, it’s just…I don’t want to come off like Dickhead Junior trying to cop a feel. I’ve been saying some pretty suggestive things lately and I just…I mean, it’s not like me.”

  Phil felt herself melting inside. “Of course it’s not, Josh. That’s one reason I…I care about you so much. One reason I love being around you. Because you always go out of your way to make me feel comfortable. And you don’t have to worry—I don’t feel offended or harassed when you tell me what you think. In fact I feel kind of…flattered.” She felt her cheeks burning but she didn’t look away from him.

  “Well…if you’re sure.” Josh was still looking at her uncertainly.

  “Of course I’m sure.” Impulsively, she reached up and gave him a hug. Josh reacted at once, putting his arms around her and pulling her close until her breasts were pressed against the broad planes of his bare chest. Phil stiffened at first, then relaxed and let herself melt against him. It felt so good, so right to be in his arms and the little peach bikini she had on almost made her feel like she was hugging him nude. It was a delicious, naughty feeling that made her heart race even faster.

  “God, you feel good in my arms,” Josh murmured, stroking her nearly bare back with his big, warm hands. “And your skin feels so soft and smooth.” His breath was hot against the side of her neck and suddenly Phil felt his mouth, warm and wet against the tender skin of her throat. Josh was planting gentle, open-mouthed kisses along her sensitive flesh, sending a shiver of desire straight to her throbbing sex.

  “Josh, I…” She pushed back from him, almost frightened by how hot his kisses were making her. I can’t…I shouldn’t…she thought wildly. Her breath was coming short and it was hard to remember why she shouldn’t keep going. But if she did this, she would be slamming the door on Christian—she couldn’t cheat on him and pretend it didn’t happen, and she knew he would never forgive her. Was she ready to move on? Was she ready to let go of the picture she’d had of her life for so long—the man she was sure she’d grow old with? That brought things back in focus. She pushed on Josh’s chest again.

  “Sorry, I’m sorry.” He let her go and took a step backwards, raking his hand through his hair. “You’re just so gorgeous, Phil and I wanted to feel you pressed against me in that hot little suit. God, the feel of your soft, ripe breasts and your nipples rubbing against my chest is so…” He scowled, the muscle in his jaw jumping. “Damn, this thinking out loud thing is really inconvenient.”

  Phil laughed shakily. “Tell me about it. Look I’m just going to…I’ll try on one more suit, okay?”

  “Uh-huh. But take your hair down too. I love to see it loose around your shoulders and…” Josh clamped his mouth shut, putting his hand over his eyes.

  “Okay.” Phil slipped back into the dressing stall once more and tried to control her breathing. The barriers were coming down faster than she could build them up again. And Josh looked so damn good in those black swim trunks. This is Josh, she reminded herself. Not some stud muffin male stripper. But that only made her wonder what he would look like without the trunks. She couldn’t take her mind off the way the big muscles in his abdomen and chest bunched under his tan skin when he moved, the way his biceps flexed, the way his arms felt like warm, flexible steel when he wrapped them around her. It seemed like all she could smell was his spicy, masculine scent, all she could see was the look of need in his dark eyes, all she could feel were his big, knowing hands all over her body…

  Have to stop thinking like this! She had to take control of the situation now. And yet…and yet…it felt so nice, so wonderful to be admired and told she was beautiful.

  Phil closed her eyes and let herself remember the last time she’d tried to get Christian interested in more than just a quickie, which was all she’d been after the night before her birthday after she drank too much champagne. That was because she knew it was useless to try for anything more. It wasn’t that she and her fiancé didn’t have a good sex life—well, they used to have a good sex life, anyway. But since he’d started his new job, it had fallen off considerably. Phil had decided to try and revive it by seducing him.

  She’d bought herself a little white lace negligee from Frederick’s of Hollywood and draped herself over the couch so that she would be the first thing he saw when he came home. She’d waited for over an hour, jumping every time she heard something outside the door, her heart pounding. It was by far the most daring thing she’d ever done and she was sure it would rekindle the spark that had been missing from their relationship lately.

  But after all that anticipation, the reality had been a big disappointment. Christian had come in the door with an armful of paperwork and hadn’t even glanced in her direction until Phil called his name. And then he’d given her a tired smile and said, “Not tonight, huh, babe? I mean, I’d love to but I have a big case to prepare for and not enough time to get ready. You understand, don’t you?”

  Yes, Phil had understood. She had understood that for whatever reason, her fiancé had lost interest in their love life. She hadn’t had that warm, tingly feeling of knowing that a man found her attractive in months—or was it longer? So was it really so surprising that having Josh look at her and tell her he liked what he saw excited her? Phil thought not. In fact, she wanted more. Craved it.

  You shouldn’t be doing this, Phil! She pushed the disapproving little voice out of her head and instead of grabbing one of the more modest swim suits, she took a deep breath and reached for the tiny, mesh, fire engine red bikini and put it on, trying not to think about what she was doing. She was only trying on a bikini, so what was the big deal—right?

  When the suit was tied in place, she stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, biting her lower lip and trying to get the nerve to walk out of the stall. The mesh was an open weave design which clearly showed her nipples and the slit of her sex. She felt like a sex kitten in this outfit—only one thing was missing.

  Phil reached up and unclipped the tight bun of hair at the back of her neck, letting the long mass fall down around her shoulders. It shimmered even in the dim light of the dressing room and when she looked in the mirror again, she saw an entirely different woman. A curvy woman with sky blue eyes and lustrous silky hair like pale gold stared back at her. The woman had a naughty little smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and she was wearing a see-through barely there bikini that showed off all her assets. God—could she really go out dressed like this? What if someone else happened to come in the dressing room?

  “Phil? You okay in there?”

  “Uh, yeah. I’m fine.” Still biting her lip, Phil opened the door and looked out. “I, uh, put on the ultimate double-dog-dare suit but I don’t want to come out of the stall in it. You come in and tell me what you think—okay?”

  “Sure.” Josh crowded into the dressing stall with her, even though it was barely large enough for two people, especially if one of them was as large as him. When they were both inside with the door closed, he seemed to fill the tiny space.

  “Well?” Phil held her breath while he looked at her, his eyes widening. She could feel her nipples getting hard from being so exposed in the open-weave mesh and she wondered if Josh noticed. “What do you think?” she asked at last.

  “I think…I think…” He frowned.

  “It’s okay, Josh.” She touched him lightly on the shoulder and was surprised to feel how tense his body was. “You can say it, I won’t be offended.”

  “God.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I think I want to pull off that skimpy little top and suck your sweet pink nipples until you scream.”

  “Oh!” Phil bit her bottom lip again, feeling a warm, sexual flush rising from between her breasts to heat her throat and cheeks. “I…do you really? What else do you want to do?” They weren’t doing anything, she told herself. Just like the other day when she was telling him her X-rated dream, they were only talking. Surely there was no harm in that. She hadn’t passed th