Lily Alone Read online

  Stevie was kind, but she didn’t have a clue. I didn’t have any of my own stuff with me. She gave me a toothbrush and a silly flannel – it was a tiny scrunched-up square until she put it in water and it grew. Stevie expected me to be enchanted, as if I was Pixie’s age. I didn’t have any nightclothes so I had to go to bed in someone’s Batman pyjamas. Stupid superheroes fought around me all night while I lay awake, sending frantic thought messages to Bliss and Baxter and Pixie.

  I got up very early, wondering if I could creep out now before anyone was around, but Stevie had taken my T-shirt and jeans – she’d even taken my trainers.

  I went stomping downstairs in my embarrassing boy pyjamas. I found her in the kitchen with one of her sidekicks, both of them dressed in T-shirts and trackie bottoms.

  ‘Hi, sweetie,’ said Stevie. ‘Sleep OK?’

  ‘No. And someone’s stolen all my stuff!’

  ‘Your utterly filthy jeans and T-shirt stuff?’ said Stevie, pointing to a whole load of clothes airing on a huge rack. ‘And did they steal your trainers too?’ She pointed to my trainers, toe-to-toe on a sheet of newspaper, scrubbed free of mud and whitened so they looked brand new.

  ‘Oh,’ I said. I struggled. ‘Thank you.’

  I didn’t want to be grateful to her. I wanted her to be horrible and then I could blame her for everything, even though I knew this was ridiculous.

  ‘If you’re going to be here a little while we’ll have to get your clothes from home, or sort you out with some new stuff,’ said Stevie. ‘I’m afraid we haven’t got any girls’ skirts for school, so you’ll have to go in your jeans today. I bet all the other kids will envy you like crazy.’

  ‘What?’ I stared at her. ‘I’m not going to school!’

  It seemed a totally ludicrous idea, but Stevie stood firm.

  ‘You go to Oakleaf Primary, don’t you? It’s not too far away. Most of our boys go to Wilton Road, but we can drop you off afterwards.’

  ‘Stevie, you’re mad,’ I said rudely. ‘My mum might have been sent straight to prison, my sister’s seriously ill in hospital, my brother and baby sister are stuck with a complete stranger, and you tell me I’ve got to go to school, like it’s an ordinary day.’

  ‘I’m not mad, sweetie. I know just how you feel but I think it would be best to do something ordinary, like going to school.’

  ‘You don’t have a clue how I feel. And stop calling me sweetie, it sounds stupid. I bet you’re just saying it because you’ve forgotten my name.’

  ‘You’re Lily – and you’re quite unforgettable,’ said Stevie.

  I thought if I argued long enough she’d give in, or lose her temper, and then we could have a stand-up fight, but she just kept telling me calmly I was going to school and that was that. It was weird having a proper breakfast sitting down at a long table with all the unruly boys and surly little Sharon. I ate a few cornflakes and half a slice of toast and sipped at a cup of tea.

  I felt a bit sick in the mini-van, being driven off to school with all the boys. When we got to Oakleaf Stevie insisted on coming right into the playground with me, to the headteacher’s office. I can’t stick Mrs Symes, our head, and she’s never thought much of me either.

  ‘Oh dear, what have you been up to now, Lily Green?’ she said, when she saw me standing beside Stevie.

  ‘She hasn’t done anything, Mrs Symes. I just need to have a little chat with you. Lily, perhaps you could wait outside, love?’ said Stevie.

  I put my head against the door and tried to listen, of course, but Stevie kept her voice down. Mrs Symes was easier to hear because she’s got one of those booming voices that reach right to the back of the school hall. I heard ‘that mother’ and ‘problem family’ and ‘doesn’t surprise me in the least’.

  I hated her, I hated her, I hated her. The bell went off for morning school, clanging right through my head. I made a bolt down the hall, but Mrs Symes opened her door and spotted me.

  ‘Lily Green! Where do you think you’re going?’

  ‘To my classroom, Mrs Symes, because the bell went,’ I said.

  ‘Oh. Well, walk, don’t run,’ said Mrs Symes.

  ‘Bye, Lily. I’ll come and meet you this afternoon,’ Stevie called.

  She was acting like my jailer, determined to stop me going off to see the kids.

  I stomped down the corridor, children staring at my jeans and starry T-shirt.

  ‘What are you wearing them for?’ someone asked.

  ‘Because I want to, that’s why,’ I said.

  It seemed so strange going into my own classroom. It felt as if I’d been away for years. The class fell silent at the sight of me. Mr Abbott stood up. His Adam’s apple wobbled as he swallowed.

  ‘Hello, Lily,’ he said softly.

  I stared him straight in the eyes. I saw them flicker. It was enough. He was the one who’d betrayed us. I stalked straight past him to my desk and sat down. Mr Abbott watched me, but didn’t make me speak to him. He told everyone to get out their books for a maths lesson. I got out my book too but I didn’t attempt any of the sums. I drew in the margin – four small stick people and one bigger one.

  Then it was Literacy and we had to do work on The Secret Garden. This was a book I loved, although most of our class hated it because it was written in a hard way, especially the Yorkshire bits. Mr Abbott kept asking questions, glancing at me now and then, because he knew I’d have an answer – but I didn’t put my hand up once.

  The bell rang for playtime and everyone started shoving their books away.

  ‘All right, off you go. Have a good run around and wake yourselves up.’ He paused. ‘Lily, could I have a word?’

  The other kids nudged each other, eyes gleaming, because it looked as if I was for it. I strolled to the front of the class, humming, acting like I couldn’t care less.

  ‘Just a minute, Lily,’ said Mr Abbott, waiting until the last child was out of the room. Then he turned to me. ‘How are you?’

  I stared at him.

  ‘How do you think I am?’ I hissed. I didn’t care that he was my teacher and I might get into trouble for talking like that. He was my favourite teacher in all the world and that made it worse.

  ‘What happened, Lily? Tell me.’

  ‘We’ve been taken into care, me and my brother and sisters, and my mum might go to prison, and it’s all your fault,’ I said.

  Mr Abbott’s head jerked as if I’d slapped him.

  ‘You came round again, didn’t you?’

  ‘Yes I did. I was very worried about you. And then I saw your letter—’

  ‘Which said we were all going on holiday.’

  ‘Yes, but did you really expect me to believe that? Come on, Lily. I was pretty sure you children were on your own. I had to tell someone. Anything could have happened to you. Where did you go? How did you manage? I’ve been worried sick about you.’

  ‘If you hadn’t come round poking your nose in we’d have been fine, absolutely fine. We had to run away after you’d come round. We went to the park and my sister Bliss got hurt, and she’s in hospital now, and I can’t bear her being there all alone without us. Mum came back, I knew she would, but now the police have got her and I’m stuck in this children’s home and it’s awful, awful, awful—’ I was sobbing, unable to stop.

  ‘Oh, Lily. Don’t cry. I feel so dreadful. I want to give you a great big hug but teachers aren’t allowed to do that.’

  ‘I want to give you a great big punch but children aren’t allowed to do that,’ I cried.

  ‘I want to punch me too for upsetting you. I wish I hadn’t interfered – but I felt it was my duty. That sounds so pompous, I’m so sorry. How is Bliss? Is she badly hurt?’

  ‘She fell out of a tree and hurt her head and I think her leg’s all broken. I’m so worried about her.’

  ‘Well, tell you what, I’ll talk to whoever runs this children’s home and see if I can get permission to take you to the hospital to visit her.’

  ‘And my oth