Lily Alone Read online

  Mum lowered her voice, nodding towards the policeman’s legs showing beneath the curtain. ‘There’s been a bit of a problem with my credit card. I think they’ve blocked it now,’ she mouthed. ‘Anyway, Gordon came looking for me and acted like Lord Muck, doling me out some dosh, making me feel like dirt. Still, he did come out with me to the airport and he said he’d keep in touch – but I think he was the one lying then.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Mum.’

  ‘Oh well. I’m just not lucky in love, am I? Especially not with that piece of rubbish, Mikey. Did he just walk out on you kids? Where is he?’

  ‘He’s in Scotland on a job, Mum. He never came.’

  ‘What? Well, we’ll tell that to that policeman lurking there. They want to pin all sorts of rubbish on me – child neglect, abandonment, whatever. I kept telling them till I was blue in the face that I’d never walk out on you kids. If I was that sort of mother, would I be frantic about my poor little Bliss? She’s been gone ages – what do you think they’re doing to her?’

  Bliss came back at last, lying very still with her eyes closed, Headless tucked under her chin. Her leg was plastered bright blue, just as they’d promised.

  ‘Bliss?’ said Mum. ‘Oh, Bliss, baby, are you all right? Open your eyes and talk to Mummy, come on.’

  ‘She’ll be very groggy for a few hours yet,’ said the nurse.

  ‘I haven’t got a few hours,’ said Mum. ‘I’m going to be whipped off down the nick. Come on, Bliss, wakey wakey, I need to know you’re OK.’

  She tickled Bliss’s tiny neck. Bliss twitched and mumbled, ‘I’m OK, Mum,’ without even opening her eyes.

  ‘There! Well, you be a good girl while you’re in hospital, darling. And Baxter and Pixie, you be good too and do what Lily tells you. You’re in charge, darling,’ Mum said to me.

  ‘But, Mum—’

  ‘Don’t worry, babe. It’ll all get sorted out soon, I swear it will. Just look after the kids and make sure you all stick together,’ said Mum.

  ‘Oh, Mum, don’t! Don’t go!’ I said.

  ‘I don’t want to go!’ said Mum, hugging me.

  The policeman put his head through the curtain.

  ‘I’m afraid I’ve got to take your mum away to answer a few questions – but don’t worry, someone’s coming to look after you. Come on, Kate. I’ve kept my word, you’ve seen the little one’s safe and sound, all neatly stitched and plastered. We have to leave the moment the social worker finally arrives.’

  ‘No! Not yet. Look, give me a break. You’ve got it all wrong. It’s their dad you want to be nicking, not me. Isn’t that right, Lily?’ Mum said desperately, clinging to Baxter and Pixie.

  ‘Yes, it’s all his fault, he wouldn’t look after us,’ I gabbled. ‘Listen, you can’t take our mum away. She’s the best mum in the world. She didn’t leave us, I swear she didn’t.’

  He nodded at me and said he understood how I felt, and he gave Baxter and Pixie some chocolate to stop them crying – but he wouldn’t seem to take me seriously. Then a social worker came, breathless and in a rush, smelling all sweaty. She tried to prise Baxter and Pixie away from Mum. They started screaming and Mum did too.

  ‘No, don’t! Mum didn’t mean to leave us! Why won’t you listen to me? She thought we were with Mikey. You can’t take her away now. We need her, Bliss needs her,’ I shouted, over and over, but it was useless.

  Mum got dragged out of the hospital and we were left on our own.

  ‘It’s mad! They’re arresting Mum for leaving us – and yet they’re forcing her to leave us now!’

  ‘Come on, Lily, calm down. You’re frightening the others,’ said the social worker. She had a funny accent and moles on her face like little mushrooms and I hated her. ‘It isn’t just because your mum went off to Spain. They’re making enquiries about credit card fraud.’

  It was like a slap in the face, but she still couldn’t shut me up.

  ‘They can’t pin something like that on my mum. It’s all her friend’s fault, she gave it to her. My mum hasn’t done anything!’

  ‘The police are just making enquiries, you know how it works. They’ll get everything sorted out with your mum. And meanwhile I’m going to take you three off and give you something to eat and then see about finding you somewhere to stay tonight, if Mum’s not back.’

  ‘We’re staying here! We can’t leave Bliss!’

  ‘You can’t all camp at the hospital, there isn’t room. The nurses will look after your little sister.’

  ‘I can’t leave her! She gets so frightened. She needs me. She needs all of us,’ I said. ‘We’ve got to stick together, Mum said.’

  ‘I’m afraid you’ve got to do what I say now. Kiss your sister goodbye and come along.’

  I let Baxter say goodbye to Bliss first.

  ‘You tell those nurses I’ll come and bash them up if they hurt you, my Bliss,’ he whispered, patting the top of her head. ‘I love you.’

  I lifted Pixie up onto the bed.

  ‘Love you, Bliss,’ she said, and gave her a big kiss on the cheek.

  ‘And I love you too, my Bluebell Bliss. Don’t you worry, I’ll make sure we’re together as soon as you come out of hospital. You’re such a brave girl, braver than all of us put together. We’ll see you very soon.’

  Bliss reached out her hand and I twined my fingers in hers – but then I had to let her go. We were led away, Baxter, Pixie and me. The social worker took us to the hospital canteen and said we could choose anything we liked to eat. We were still so stunned she had to choose for us – fish and chips and peas. We couldn’t eat properly, not even Baxter. We just chewed a few chips.

  ‘Eat up, possums,’ said the social worker brightly, sipping her own coffee.

  She got out her mobile phone and went and sat at a table by herself to make her calls.

  ‘Possums!’ said Baxter. ‘She’s stupid.’

  ‘Is she our mum now?’ said Pixie.

  ‘No, of course not. We’ve got our mum, silly,’ I said fiercely.

  ‘I want her back,’ said Baxter.

  ‘I know. We’ll get her back, you’ll see.’

  ‘That lady’s not looking. Shall we try to do a runner?’ said Baxter.

  ‘Yeah, but I don’t know where we could run to. Shh, Baxter, I want to hear what she’s saying.’

  I couldn’t hear much. Three kids, a fourth in hospital – emergency foster care – perhaps we’ll have to split them up.

  I stood up and went over to her. I grabbed her wrist.

  ‘You can’t split us up,’ I said. ‘We have to stay together. Put us anywhere, but we have to be the three of us, four when Bliss is better.’

  ‘I’m doing my best, Lily,’ she said.

  ‘Can’t we just go home? I can look after the kids. I’ve been doing it all week, it’s what I always do. Please.’

  She looked me straight in the eye.

  ‘I can’t let you, Lily. I know you can look after the others, but it’s not allowed. I’m sorry. I’m doing my best to find you a suitable place. It might be just for tonight, until we know what’s happening about your mum. Don’t look at me like that. I’m on your side.’

  She did try – but she couldn’t find anywhere that would take all of us. She found a place for Pixie first, a lady who took in babies. She didn’t usually take anyone over five, but the social worker persuaded her to take Baxter as well.

  ‘Couldn’t she take me too?’ I begged. ‘I promise I won’t be any trouble and I’ll help look after the kids. They’ll need me so. Pixie’s only little, she still likes me to carry her – and Baxter can’t bear to be without Bliss and he’ll start acting up if he’s not handled right.’

  They wouldn’t listen. I had to hug the kids and then leave them with this woman in a funny little house the other side of town. The baby lady picked them both up when they started crying, even though Baxter weighed a ton. She looked as if she’d be kind to them – but she was a stranger.

  ‘How can you think