Lily Alone Read online

  ‘In the magic garden?’

  ‘We are going to have picnics all over the park. Because do you know what? We’re going to camp there, just till Saturday, when Mum will come back.’

  ‘Camp!’ said Baxter, clapping his hands. ‘Where’s our tent?’

  ‘We haven’t got a tent, you know that. But we’ll take a blanket and pillows and the plastic tablecloth to go over the top of us in case it rains,’ I said, proud that I’d thought it all out.

  ‘Will there be horrible creepy-crawlies if we camp?’ said Bliss. She’d watched I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!

  ‘Absolutely not. If even the tiniest little ant dares to come anywhere near I’ll swat it flat, I promise,’ I said.

  ‘What about the deer?’

  ‘Oh, Bliss! You’re the only person in the entire world who could possibly be afraid of deer. They’re so sweet and shy and soft and gentle.’

  ‘They’ve got those big horn things,’ Bliss persisted.

  ‘Antlers!’ Baxter shouted. ‘I’m a huge great daddy deer and these are my antlers.’ He held his arms in an arc over his head, and started making snorty noises. ‘Now I’m going to charge.’ He lunged at Bliss, who started squealing.

  ‘Stop it, Baxter,’ I said, grabbing him.

  Baxter subsided, screwing up his face.

  ‘What? You’re not crying, are you?’

  ‘No!’ Baxter shouted, though his eyes were watering.

  ‘I didn’t hurt you. I barely touched you,’ I said, astonished as his tears spilled over. ‘What is it?’

  ‘I want my daddy,’ Baxter sniffed.

  ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake,’ I said. I tried to put my arms round him but he pushed me away.

  ‘I don’t want you, I want Dad.’

  I sat on the bench, running my finger round my ice-cream bowl and licking it. I didn’t know what to do. I knew Mikey’s mobile-phone number. All right, he was in Scotland, but if I told him Mum had gone off and left us I thought he’d come, job or not. He loved Baxter, I knew that. He loved Bliss too, though she irritated him. He was fond of Pixie. They’d be safe with him. But I wouldn’t. I hated the way he looked at me, some of the things he said. It was just about all right when Mum was around. It would be much too scary without her.

  No, we’d be fine. We just had to hide in the park for two days and then it would be Saturday and Mum would be back.

  I started packing Mum’s big shopping bag with cornflakes and biscuits and chocolate and apples and Dairylea and crisps. I put cans of Coke and Lilt in another bag, and filled two empty squash bottles with tap water. There! We had just about enough to keep us going for a couple of days. The bags were very heavy though. I’d have to hang them on Pixie’s buggy. I could stuff the buggy with our blankets and pillows too, plus the plastic tablecloth. So what else did we need? A change of clothes each, in case the kids got muddy again. It would be best to pack several pairs of knickers for Pixie, just in case.

  I gathered up clothes and inspected our coats. I’d forgotten to hang them up so they were still in a dank sodden heap. Well, it wasn’t cold any more. I had to hope it wouldn’t rain again. I found sweatshirts for each of us, because I knew it would be cooler at night. I didn’t think we need bother with pyjamas. We could just sleep in our clothes.

  The last bag was for our favourite things. I packed my angel postcards, my drawing pad and crayons, the fairy-tale book, Headless, the fork-lift truck and Pixie’s pink plastic handbag.

  ‘There!’ I said at last. ‘Come on, get dressed. And put your sweatshirts on.’

  ‘It’s too hot!’ said Baxter.

  ‘Yes, but we can’t carry them, not when we’ve got all these bags. I want you to carry the biggest bag, Baxter. I hope it’s not too heavy for you.’

  ‘Heavy! It’s ever so light. I can carry it easy-peasy,’ said Baxter proudly.

  ‘And you must carry the favourite things, Bliss. Do you think you can manage it?’

  ‘I think so,’ said Bliss. She was scrambling into her clothes, but she looked at her trainers doubtfully. They were thick with mud. ‘Look!’ she said, holding them at arm’s length.

  ‘It’s OK, we’ll just brush it off. It’s easy now it’s gone hard. Look, we’ll put a newspaper on the floor and then you can bang them together.’

  Baxter started banging his together without benefit of the newspaper, sending flakes of mud everywhere. Pixie sat on the floor wiggling her pink toes.

  ‘No welly boots!’ she said.

  ‘Well, go and get your shoes, silly. You can put them on yourself because they’ve got sticky straps.’

  Pixie put her shoes on and stomped about uncertainly.

  ‘They feel funny.’

  I looked. ‘You’ve got them on the wrong feet, silly. Swap them over. Honestly!’

  It seemed hours before I got them all ready. When we were going out of the door at last I had another thought. What if Mum came back early, on Friday? She’d go spare if we were missing. I used up another precious page of my drawing book scribbling her a note:

  Dear Mum,

  Don’t worry, we are safe and we’ll be back Saturday, I promise. Hope you had a lovely holiday.

  I paused, looking around the flat.

  Sorry we’ve made a bit of a mess, don’t be cross. Lots and lots and lots of love,

  Lily

  Baxter and Bliss wanted to print their names at the bottom too, and Pixie did a scribble and a kiss. Then I folded the letter up and put it on Mum’s pillow.

  ‘There!’ I said. ‘Now, let’s go.’

  I left Mr Abbott’s letter sticking out of the letter box. Then I stood for a good two minutes in front of the door not knowing what to do. If I closed it we couldn’t get back in. And yet if I left it on the latch, Mr Abbott might notice and think it odd.

  ‘What do you think we should do about the front door?’ I asked Bliss.

  She blinked at me anxiously.

  ‘Shut it?’ she said. ‘Or leave it open?’

  ‘Yes, but which?’

  ‘Shut it!’ said Baxter, and pulled it. I think he only meant to demonstrate but he pulled too hard. The door shut with a bang.

  ‘Now you’ve done it!’ I said unfairly.

  ‘Want to do a wee-wee,’ said Pixie, fidgeting in her buggy.

  ‘Well, you can’t. You’ll have to wait till we get to the park. OK, come along, all of you.’

  I started wheeling the buggy along the balcony as quickly as I could, shushing the twins – but Old Kath already had her door open.

  ‘Do you kids have to bang the door?’ she said, glaring. She had a cigarette in her mouth and she kept it there when she talked so it moved weirdly up and down.

  ‘Sorry, Kath,’ I said, wheeling Pixie quickly past.

  ‘Where are you lot going with all them bags?’ Kath asked.

  ‘We’re . . . we’re just going down the launderette,’ I said.

  ‘Looks like you’re washing clothes for an army,’ said Kath, looking at the two bulging bags in the buggy. ‘That mum of yours! Even got the little ones lugging stuff.’

  She poked at Bliss’s bag and felt the hard edges of my drawing pad.

  ‘What’s this then? You lot started to wear cardboard knickers?’ She cackled at her own stupid joke, the cigarette end wobbling, but staying put. Did she stick it to her lower lip with Sello-tape?

  I forced myself to smile at her.

  ‘These are our favourite things, to keep the kids quiet in the launderette.’

  ‘Keep you lot quiet! That’ll be the day. Your mum couldn’t keep a goldfish quiet, I’m telling you. Where is she then? I want a word with her.’

  ‘She’s downstairs with another two bags of washing,’ I said.

  ‘She’s getting like the blooming Scarlet Pimpernel, your mum. You seek her here, you seek her there, and she’s always nipped off somewhere else, leaving you in charge. She’s got a right cheek, turning you into a nanny all the time.’

  ‘I like looking aft