Lola Rose Read online

  That made me feel sicker than ever. Kendall was usually so shy and strange with anyone new. But now he was holding Jake’s free hand, skipping along happily, George carefully tucked under his armpit. He was babbling non-stop, most of it nonsense, some me-and-George saga. Jake wasn’t even listening, but every time he gave a little grunt Kendall’s face lit up delightedly.

  Jake’s other hand was holding Mum’s.

  I wanted them to look ridiculous as a couple.

  They looked great together. Mum seemed so different when she was around Jake. When she was near Dad Mum was always twitching, scared because the slightest thing could set him off. She was always glancing anxiously at him. She never dared look at anyone else. Dad went berserk if he thought she was eyeing up any other men.

  But now Mum mucked about and giggled and sang little snatches of song. Heaps of men turned to look at her. Some of them said stuff. Mum waved and blew them kisses. Jake grinned and waved too. His new silver bangle slid up his slim arm when he waved.

  It was a present. Mum bought it for him. She bought me some sparkly stud earrings that looked like real diamonds. She bought Kendall a real wristwatch even though he can’t tell the time yet. She bought herself a moonstone pendant. She got Jake to fasten it round her neck as if he’d bought it for her.

  ‘Aren’t moonstones meant to be unlucky?’ he said.

  ‘Not on me. I’m Lady Luck,’ said Mum. ‘Don’t you like it?’

  ‘It’s pretty, very pretty. You’re pretty,’ said Jake. He kissed her neck where he’d fastened the clasp.

  ‘Um! Look at Mum and Jake, they’re kissing,’ said Kendall.

  It was obvious what was going to happen next.

  ‘Maybe it would be a good idea to rearrange the flat a bit,’ said Mum. ‘I’ve been thinking. You and Kendall might like your own den, more of a play space. So how about us turning the bedroom into your room. It’s purple too, your favourite colour.’

  ‘Lilac isn’t purple.’

  ‘It’s light purple, Miss Picky. Anyway, I was thinking of getting a little portable telly for you two. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Then the living room could be more – well, my room.’

  ‘And you want to put a socking great bed in it for you and Jake,’ I said coldly.

  ‘No I don’t! Well. I was thinking about one of them sofa beds. Then if Jake should want to stay over . . .’

  ‘Why can’t he stay in his own place?’

  ‘He hasn’t exactly got his own place,’ said Mum. ‘He’s staying with a friend at the moment.’

  ‘Why can’t he get his own place, then?’ I said.

  ‘Because he hasn’t got any money. He’s a student.’

  ‘They give them rooms in the university, don’t they?’

  ‘Only the first year. For God’s sake, Lola Rose, give it a rest. He’s coming to live with us and that’s that. I don’t see why you’ve got such a problem with it. We’re in love, can’t you see?’

  ‘He doesn’t love you. He’s just shacking up with us because he hasn’t got anywhere else. And you spend a fortune on him. Our fortune.’

  Mum slapped me straight across the face. Kendall was watching. He cried. I didn’t cry. I stared Mum out.

  ‘You only slapped me because you know it’s true.’

  ‘I slapped you because you’re a spoilt little cow,’ Mum snapped. ‘What’s the matter with you, Lola Rose? You can’t be jealous, can you?’

  ‘What, jealous of Jake?’ I folded my arms. She was asking for it. ‘Well, he is more my age than yours.’

  I stepped back smartly in case she tried another slap.

  She was meaner than that.

  ‘Don’t kid yourself you’ll ever get a man like Jake,’ she said, looking me up and down.

  I didn’t want her to see me cry. I slammed straight out of the house and down the path. I hoped she’d yell after me to come back but she didn’t. So I went on walking, though I didn’t really know where I was going.

  I knew my way to school, I knew my way to the chippy and the Chinese, I knew my way to Mum’s pub, I knew my way to the video shop. And I knew my way to Harpreet’s house.

  I could go and see Harpreet. She was my best friend now. We had our own special handshake and we each wore half of a Friends Forever locket. We told each other all sorts of secrets. We had very long whispered conversations about sex and often ended up giggling helplessly. But I didn’t want to tell her about Mum and Jake. It was the one thing I couldn’t talk about. My family.

  Harpreet talked about her family all the time. She quarrelled with her brothers and sisters sometimes and she argued a little bit with her mum and dad, but they never had a proper row. They never ever hit each other.

  I wished I’d been born part of Harpreet’s family. I wished Harpreet’s dad was my dad. I loved the way he put his arm round Harpreet and cuddled her close and called her his little girl. My dad had done all that with me. He called me all sorts of special things when he was in a good mood. I was his Princess Rosycheeks, his Fairy Doll, his Jay-Jay Jam Doughnut. But the good mood could change to bad, and then he’d call me other stuff, short, sharp, ugly words that stuck to me like slime.

  I couldn’t imagine Harpreet’s dad turning like that. I asked her once to tell me the very worst thing he’d ever done to her. She thought and thought and then said he’d shouted at her when she was little because she’d run into the road. She’d cried and then he cried and gave her a great big hug.

  Harpreet laughed and said he was a silly softie old dad, though he could be horribly strict about bedtimes and it didn’t look like he was ever going to let her have a boyfriend. It seemed to me he was the best dad in the world.

  I wasn’t so sure about Harpreet’s mum. She wasn’t really pretty, though she had beautiful big eyes with long eyelashes. She had a way of rolling her eyes and sighing that made me nervous.

  She seemed to be quite friendly with my mum, but she rolled her eyes expressively afterwards. I don’t think she liked it that my mum got on very well with Harpreet’s dad. She never said anything but she didn’t need to. She just looked at my mum’s hair or her tight top or her short skirt, she listened to my mum’s giggle and her tales of what went on down the pub – and those eyes rolled like marbles.

  I’d hoped I’d grow up little and pretty like Mum. I’d so hoped it might happen when I turned into Lola Rose. But now I wondered how I’d kidded myself. Mum had made it obvious. I wasn’t ever going to look like her.

  I’d end up like Auntie Barbara instead.

  I walked straight past Harpreet’s house. I walked faster and faster, as if I was trying to run away from myself. I wasn’t even sure who I was any more. I couldn’t believe how quickly Mum had settled into this new life. How could she fall in and out of love so easily? She acted like all those corny old love songs she sang, changing as quickly as a jukebox. She stood by her man but he was so cruel so it was all over and she did her crying in the rain and she would survive but then she met this stranger and then it was passionate kisses.

  I thought of Mum and Jake kissing.

  Then I heard kissing noises behind me. Loud, slurpy, silly lip-smacking.

  It was a gang of boys hanging about outside the video shop. I knew one of them, a horrible boy called Peter who was in my class at school. He kept trying to pull all the girls’ skirts up. He had a very pink face and big nostrils in a flat nose. Harpreet and I called him Peter Piglet.

  ‘Give us a kiss then, Lola Rose,’ he called.

  I pulled a face at him. ‘Get lost, Peter Piglet,’ I said fiercely.

  Peter went pinker than ever. The other boys laughed, and made more kissing noises. They were mostly older than Peter. That Ross was with them. He was famous in Flexley Park. All the girls fancied him. He was only thirteen but he got sixteen-year-old girls wanting to go out with him.

  He was looking at me too. ‘Yeah, fancy a snog, Lola Rose?’ he said.

  I didn’t know if he was joking or not. The other boys were sti