Lola Rose Read online

  ‘We have Chinese takeaway. I like chicken chow mein,’ I said.

  ‘You wait till you try Thai. It’s truly scrumptious.’

  ‘Truly’s in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,’ said Kendall, proud because he’d remembered.

  ‘We had the video at our old home,’ I said.

  ‘It’s a play now too, with a real car that flies right up in the air. We could go sometime if you like,’ said Auntie Barbara.

  We stared at her. It was as if she was taking us in a magic car, flying us out of our own dull life to a dazzling magic land where everything seemed possible.

  She took us up to town on Sunday morning and said we could go anywhere we wanted. Kendall chose the aquarium, surprise, surprise. Auntie Barbara was very understanding when I explained I couldn’t go in. She sat me on a bench overlooking the river.

  ‘You sure you’ll be OK?’

  ‘Yeah, of course,’ I said.

  I wasn’t. The sharks were shut up in the aquarium but I couldn’t shut all my other worries up. They swam round and round my head. I felt really guilty that Kendall and I were having a good time with Auntie Barbara while Mum was stuck in hospital, still not better. She’d looked so small when we’d said goodbye. I was scared she’d shrink every time we went to see her, until one day she’d just be a hank of hair, a few bones and a bandage.

  I was scared I might start crying so I tried to distract myself. I gathered up some sweet wrappers and started tearing them up and sticking them with spit onto my arm like tattoos. I’d seen a picture of a snail made out of coloured paper at school so I copied that. Then I did a butterfly and a ladybird and a rose.

  Auntie Barbara sucked in her breath when she saw. I thought she’d make me pick all the papers off and give me a lecture about licking dirty bits of paper. Mum would have. But Auntie Barbara held my arm up and inspected it closely, smiling.

  ‘Do you like Matisse?’ she said.

  I’d never even heard of Matisse so she took us to the Tate Modern. Kendall moaned and said it was going to be boring-boring-boring, but when we’d walked all along the river bank to this huge gallery he ran around all over the place and no one seemed to mind.

  There was a special Matisse exhibition. I wasn’t sure I liked his work at first. All the paintings were a bit squiggly and didn’t look real though I liked the bright colours. Auntie Barbara liked a picture of a big lady lying back on a sofa in funny floppy trousers. She said she’d have a go at making some similar trousers for herself. She makes most of her clothes because she’s so huge she can’t find anything in the shops.

  ‘I’ll make you a pair of stripy trousers too, Lola Rose,’ said Auntie Barbara. She saw the look of horror on my face. ‘Joke!’ she said, laughing.

  We turned a corner – and there was the school snail picture, absolutely huge, bigger than Auntie Barbara.

  ‘It’s a collage!’ I said.

  ‘Do you know something? I think your collage work knocks spots off old Matisse. I love that food picture you did last night. Hey, talking of food, I’m starving! Let’s go and find the café.’

  We all had sausages and mash. Kendall turned his sausages into sharks and made them swim in the mashy sea but then he ate them all up. I ate mine too, and then a big strawberry cheesecake, but on the bus to the hospital I started to feel sick. Kendall went quiet too. Auntie Barbara put her arms round us.

  ‘Will Mum be better now?’ Kendall asked.

  ‘Let’s hope so,’ said Auntie Barbara – which wasn’t quite the same as a straight yes.

  When we got to the ward Mum was propped up on her pillows, her hair carefully brushed, her make-up pink and pretty, almost her old self.

  ‘You are better, Mum!’ said Kendall.

  ‘Yeah, I’m going home tomorrow, they’ve promised,’ said Mum.

  ‘That’s great news, Nik,’ said Auntie Barbara.

  ‘Victoria,’ said Mum.

  ‘Victoria Luck. Lady Luck,’ I said.

  ‘That’s right, that’s me,’ said Mum, but she wasn’t looking at me. Her eyes kept swivelling past all of us.

  We stayed for a while, Auntie Barbara and me trying to chat to Mum, Kendall sitting on the floor muttering to George. Mum slid further and further down the bed, barely replying.

  Then she suddenly sat up straight. She licked her lips and then bared her teeth in a big smile.

  I looked round. Jake was shuffling up the ward, clutching a small bunch of carnations, the sort you buy outside a garage for £2.99. Mum behaved as if he’d given her an armful of hothouse lilies. She gave him a really smoochie movie-star kiss right in front of us. Jake’s mouth was all wet when he pulled away. He lifted his arm as if he wanted to wipe it. Mum was gazing up at him. His arm froze. He looked like a statue saying hello. Then he waved it awkwardly at Kendall and me.

  ‘Hi, kids,’ he said. He nodded nervously at Auntie Barbara too.

  ‘Hi, I’m Victoria’s sister,’ she said.

  Jake looked astonished. Auntie Barbara watched him, waiting for some crass comment. She seemed utterly composed but I saw her fingers fidgeting behind her back, digging hard at a hangnail. It must be awful – everyone always amazed that two sisters could look so different.

  Jake managed to hold his tongue. Mum patted the bed, making him sit beside her. I saw her wince slightly when he sat down heavily but she didn’t say a word. He could have used the bed as a trampoline and she wouldn’t have complained.

  ‘How lovely of you to come and see me, Jake,’ she said, like it was a huge surprise – though I found out later she’d begged a loan of a mobile from another patient and left urgent messages at his art college.

  I suppose it was good he came. Maybe he loved Mum a little bit. Maybe he thought she was about to die and might leave him something. Not that she had anything. Just a suitcase of clothes, a few bits of furniture – and two kids.

  Mum seemed to have forgotten all about us. She chatted non-stop to Jake, two pink smudges of rouge standing out on her pale cheeks. Jake hardly said a word. He looked relieved when Kendall edged towards him.

  ‘How’s my little pal, eh?’ said Jake. He picked Kendall up and plonked him on his lap. Kendall kicked his legs happily.

  ‘Careful!’ said Mum, frowning at Kendall.

  ‘Does it hurt a lot?’ Jake asked, looking stricken.

  ‘No, no, hardly at all. And don’t worry, I’m still all in one piece,’ said Mum, patting her bandages gingerly. ‘It’s all thanks to you, Jake darling. If you hadn’t found the little lump and made me go to the doc then I’d have been up the creek without a paddle.’

  ‘I want to paddle,’ said Kendall, not understanding. ‘Mum, Auntie Barbara’s taking us to the seaside to see sharks and whales and then we’re going to Disneyland.’

  ‘Oh yeah? What’s that whizzing past? Whoops! It’s a flying pig,’ said Mum.

  Kendall lost track altogether but didn’t seem to mind. ‘Paddle paddle paddle, George and me are going to paddle,’ he sang. He kicked his legs again, pretending to paddle. He caught Mum on her side. It wasn’t her sore chest or arm but it must have hurt. Her eyes blinked but she stayed smiling bravely.

  Jake eased Kendall off his lap and stood up.

  ‘Where are you off to?’ said Mum.

  ‘I’m sorry, Vic, I’ve got to go.’

  ‘But you’ve only just got here!’

  ‘Yeah, well, I’ve things to do. You know how it is.’

  Mum knew. She couldn’t bear it. She waited until he was out of sight and then started sobbing. Auntie Barbara reached out to hold her hand but she snatched it away.

  ‘Don’t, Nik, he’s not worth it,’ Auntie Barbara said softly.

  ‘How would you know?’ Mum sobbed.

  ‘Yeah. How would I?’ said Auntie Barbara. She put her arm round Kendall and me. ‘Come on, kids.’

  ‘Stop making such a fuss of those kids, they’re mine,’ Mum cried.

  ‘Mum’s tired,’ said Auntie Barbara. ‘We’ll go now. What time do you th