Lola Rose Read online

  I stared at Dad, shouting inside my head. He looked over at me as if he could hear. He smiled. It was a shark smile.

  ‘Ah, Jayni,’ he said, as if he’d just clapped eyes on me. ‘Aren’t you going to give your old dad a kiss and tell him you’re pleased to see him?’

  Mum held her breath, staring at me pleadingly.

  I pretended for her sake.

  I pretended for my sake too, because I was scared out of my wits. I wanted to run right out the room, down the stairs, down the road, run away for ever. But I walked up to my dad. He put his arm round me. His lips nuzzled my ear, my neck.

  ‘That’s my good little girl,’ he whispered. ‘Was it you who put your mum up to all this, eh?’

  I didn’t know what to say. I started shaking.

  ‘Hey, are you shivering? You shouldn’t be cold in that natty furry jacket. Nice little bit of clobber, that. So where’s my fancy jacket, eh?’

  ‘We’ll buy you one, darling,’ said Mum.

  So she hadn’t let on that the money was all gone.

  That’s my babe. And my boy and my girl. My family, safely come back to me,’ said Dad, arms round us all. Imprisoning us.

  Auntie Barbara was standing free, watching us. She had her arms folded across her chest, hands gripping her elbows as if she was trying to hold herself in. She was looking at Mum like she couldn’t quite believe it. Mum wouldn’t look back at her.

  But Dad did.

  ‘So, Barbara,’ he said. ‘You were telling me porky pies when I came round to your pub.’ He put his head on one side, puffing out his cheeks, his voice a silly high-pitched imitation. ‘Oh no, believe me, Jay, I haven’t got a clue where Nikki is. I haven’t seen her for years. The last time I saw the kids Kenny was a baby.’

  ‘That was true, Jay,’ Auntie Barbara said steadily. ‘I didn’t even have your address.’

  ‘Liar!’

  ‘You can call me all the names you like. I’m used to it.’

  ‘Ooh, what sort of names do you get called, little Barbie?’

  ‘I’m sure you’re familiar with most of them,’ said Auntie Barbara. ‘I’ll go and make us all a cup of tea, eh, Nikki? How are you feeling?’

  ‘Fine,’ said Mum. She looked grey under-neath her make-up. ‘Barbara just came to look after the kids when I had to go into hospital for the op.’

  ‘So who called her then?’ said Dad.

  I stayed very still.

  ‘I did,’ said Mum.

  ‘Why didn’t you call me? They’re my kids, for God’s sake.’

  ‘I know, darling, but I thought you might be freaked out by the whole hospital bit. Barbara, I’d love that cup of tea—’

  ‘Yeah, OK, Barbie, you pop the kettle on like Polly, and then you can pop off back to your pub,’ said Dad. ‘We don’t need you now. We’re going home too.’ He peered round the room, sniffing. ‘Whatever made you pick this dump, Nik? Are you sure this tumour isn’t in your head?’

  ‘There’s no tumour anywhere, darling. They’ve dug it all out of me. I’m as good as new,’ said Mum.

  ‘I hope so, babe. I couldn’t bear it if you had to have one of your lovely boobies chopped off.’

  ‘That’s a really helpful attitude,’ said Auntie Barbara.

  We all tensed. Dad pushed Kendall so he slid off his lap.

  ‘She didn’t mean it to sound like that, Jay,’ said Mum.

  ‘What do you think I am, thick? Don’t look so worried, babe. Jayni, stop that silly shivering. It’s OK. I’m not going to blow my top. Even with your fat freak of a sister. Hear that, Barbie? You trot off back to Big Daddy.’

  ‘He’s dead and gone,’ said Auntie Barbara, ‘and I don’t think any of us should trot off tonight. Nikki’s exhausted. She needs to rest. And she has to go back to the hospital next week for the results of her tests.’

  ‘What tests?’ said Dad. ‘I thought you said the tumour had gone, Nik?’

  ‘It has, it has,’ said Mum. ‘They cut it all out. I’m fine now. Just a bit tired.’ Her voice cracked and tears started dribbling down her cheeks.

  ‘Don’t cry, sweetheart, you know I can’t bear it,’ said Dad. He pulled her close so her head was against his chest. There there, my little babe. It’s OK, your Jay’s here now. He’ll take care of you.’

  He stroked her hair and kissed the tip of her nose as if she was a little girl. Mum hung onto him.

  ‘Oh Jay, you promise? You really will take care of me?’

  ‘I swear I will, darling. You can count on me. You’re my little babe and I’m going to keep you safe. Now you lie back. No wonder you’re tired. I’ll tuck you up, eh? You could do with a little nap. We’ll stay here for the night if that’s what you want. We’ll get you back home tomorrow. I’ll carry you in my arms if necessary. I’d carry you clear across the world, babe. You mean all the world to me. I was ready to top myself when you left. But I don’t blame you, sweetheart. I’m not angry any more. You were obviously getting sick already, not thinking straight. You panicked, I know. I understand. But now you can relax. We’re going to start all over again, you and me and our little lad.’

  ‘And Jayni,’ Mum said.

  ‘And Jayni,’ Dad said.

  I hated the way Dad was looking at me. I couldn’t be his little girl any more. He thought it was all my fault.

  Maybe it was my fault.

  My head felt as if it was being crushed. I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t think.

  Then I felt those two steady hands on my shoulders.

  ‘Come and help me make the tea, Jayni,’ said Auntie Barbara.

  She steered me out into the kitchen. I leant against her. She wrapped her arms round me, bending over.

  ‘You can come and live with me if you like,’ she whispered.

  ‘He wouldn’t let me.’

  ‘We’ll work it out somehow. I’m not going to let him hurt you, I promise.’

  ‘But he’ll hurt Mum.’

  ‘Maybe they’ll work something out,’ said Auntie Barbara. ‘Maybe he really will take care of her. Maybe this is his last chance and he’s taking it.’

  When we went back into the living room Dad was trying hard, plumping up the pillows behind Mum and straightening the covers on the sofa bed.

  ‘That’s my girl,’ he said. ‘There! Is that comfier?’

  ‘Yes, Jay, much.’

  ‘We’ll tuck you right up, eh?’ Dad said tenderly. ‘Let me take your jacket off. There now, don’t worry, I won’t hurt your poor chest. My brave little babe, you never make a fuss, do you? Well, you’re not ever going to get hurt again, I promise. We’ll tuck you up tight and you can have a lovely long snooze.’

  ‘You’re so good to me, Jay,’ Mum said.

  ‘That’s right, babe. No one’s ever looked after you the way I do,’ said Dad, tucking the cover in firmly.

  He felt something stuck under the mattress. He pulled it out. He held something crumpled and blue. He looked at it incredulously. ‘What the bloody hell are these?’ he said.

  Dad held the blue boxer shorts out and waved them in the air, so that the legs flapped. It looked comical but no one laughed. Even Kendall ducked his head, elbows pressed against his sides.

  Mum stared at the shorts helplessly.

  ‘What are they?’ Dad asked.

  ‘They’re underpants,’ Mum whispered.

  ‘Yeah. Right. I can see they are,’ said Dad, holding them out, practically thrusting them in Mum’s face. ‘That’s not really the issue, is it, Nikki?’

  Mum swallowed.

  ‘Is it?’ Dad yelled.

  ‘Don’t shout, darling, please,’ Mum begged.

  ‘I’ll shout my head off until you tell me whose pants these are,’ said Dad.

  They were obviously Jake’s. I hated him for being so careless, so forgetful.

  ‘They’re Kendall’s,’ I blurted out.

  ‘Oooh. Kendall’s, are they?’ said Dad. ‘Why the fancy name, Kenny?’

  Kenny tried t