Lola Rose Read online

  Harpreet giggled. ‘Maybe you’re pregnant,’ she said.

  We both laughed. It was OK now. We were friends again.

  I told her my mum had gone into hospital.

  ‘You poor thing, you must be so worried.’

  ‘Yeah. Well. Obviously.’

  ‘She’ll be all right,’ said Harpreet, patting my hand. ‘So who’s looking after you and Kendall if Jake’s done a runner?’

  ‘He hasn’t. My mum got rid of him, I said.’

  ‘Well. Whatever,’ Harpreet said. ‘So, who’s coming? A granny? An auntie?’

  I knew I shouldn’t say but I couldn’t help wanting to show off. ‘No one’s looking after us,’ I said airily.

  Harpreet boggled at me in a satisfying manner. ‘You can’t manage by yourselves!’

  ‘Sure we can. It’s only overnight.’

  ‘My mum would never let me stay by myself. She wouldn’t even let my sister stay home by herself last holidays and she was eighteen.’

  ‘Don’t tell your mum,’ I said hurriedly, scared there might be trouble.

  ‘I won’t.’

  ‘Promise?’

  ‘Yeah, I swear,’ said Harpreet, gesturing sealing her lips and cutting her throat. Her forehead wrinkled as she thought it all out. ‘Who will cook your tea?’ she said.

  ‘I will. I often cook.’

  It all depends what you mean by ‘cook’. I could open a tin and make toast. That was kind of cooking. I knew Harpreet was thinking of the complicated curries she had at home.

  ‘You’re so cool, Lola Rose,’ she said. ‘It’s like you’re an adult already.’

  She made me feel cool.

  But then I had to go home and face the empty empty empty flat.

  ‘I want Mum,’ said Kendall, sitting down in the middle of the floor, burying his nose in George’s matted fur.

  ‘Yes, but you know Mum’s in hospital. It’s OK, you’ve still got me.’

  ‘I don’t want you, I want Mum,’ said Kendall, screwing up his face.

  ‘Shut up. And don’t you dare cry! I’m fed up with you being such a grizzleguts. Now listen, if you’re good I’ll make you some tea. But if you’re going to blub I’ll think you’re just a little baby and put a nappy on you and put you to bed.’

  Kendall scowled at me. ‘I don’t like you.’

  ‘I don’t like you either,’ I said. ‘I wish I had a different brother. Harpreet’s brother, he’d be great. But I’m stuck with you, Kendal mint cake, so I’ll just have to get on with it. OK, let’s check out the fridge.’

  There were two cardboard boxes. One was a big pizza with a smiley face squiggled on the top in tomato sauce. The other was a vast chocolate cake with two layers of butter cream. Mum had pressed pink and purple Smarties on the frosted chocolate icing, spelling out YUM YUM.

  I looked at the pizza. I looked at the chocolate cake.

  I was the one who burst into tears.

  Kendall watched me warily. ‘Don’t you like pizza and chocolate cake?’

  ‘I love them,’ I said, blowing my nose on the kitchen towel.

  ‘Why are you crying then?’

  ‘Because Mum’s tried so hard. And I want her too. So that makes me Mrs Grizzleguts, right? You can call me that as much as you like.’

  ‘Grizzleguts!’ said Kendall.

  I let him go on saying it until he was sick of it. It seemed like hours. But then everything seemed to last hours.

  I heated the pizza and we ate half of it, and a big slice of chocolate cake each. I read Thomas the Tank Engine and drew Kendall a train picture, rubbing out again and again until I got all the wheels in a straight line. Then he coloured it in (ruining it). We ate some cold pizza and had another slice of chocolate cake. And another. Well, I did. Kendall just ate the Smarties.

  It seemed like a whole day had passed but it was less than an hour. I switched on the telly to check the time because I was sure our clock had stopped.

  Kendall and I watched for a while but then there was a hospital programme and I changed channels. We watched some comedy but we didn’t laugh. It was like we were tuned into our own hospital channel, watching our mum being wheeled off to an operating theatre where men in masks attacked her with sharp instruments.

  Kendall nudged nearer until he was sitting on my lap. I rested my chin on his head. His crewcut was growing out. He looked like a little baby duckling.

  ‘You hair’s so cute now, Kendall.’

  Kendall stiffened. ‘I want it cut off!’

  ‘No, it’s much nicer now.’

  ‘I don’t want to look nice. I don’t want to look cute. I want to look tough.’

  Dad had always marched him to the barber’s for a number one hair cut. He didn’t look tough. He looked like a bald little baby but Dad went on about him being a real tough nut.

  ‘We don’t see Dad now,’ Kendall whispered to George. He turned round to me. ‘We will still see Mum, won’t we?’

  ‘Of course we will! Tomorrow, when she comes back from the hospital.’

  ‘Promise?’

  ‘I promise,’ I said.

  The Voice of Doom mocked me. How can you promise that? Maybe she won’t ever come back.

  The Voice talked to me half the night. I felt so lonely, even cuddled up to Kendall. I clutched my Pinkie teddy bear like a sad little toddler. I heard Miss Parker’s radio rumbling away underneath me. Then I heard the creak of floorboards above my head and the gurgle of water pipes when Steve or Andy went to the loo. Cars went past. Cats yowled. Drunks shouted. Then there were footsteps outside.

  Every time anyone walked along the pavement I tensed up.

  The night went on and on for ever.

  The mobile rang when Kendall and I were having breakfast.

  ‘Mum! Oh Mum!’ I said. ‘Are you OK? Does it hurt? Are you coming home now?’

  ‘I wish!’ said Mum. ‘I haven’t had the blooming operation yet. They faffed around yesterday with blood tests and X-rays. They’re doing the operation this morning. They’re not letting me have any breakfast and I’m starving.’

  ‘So – so when will you be back?’ I said, all my relief draining away.

  ‘Well, that’s the problem, sweetheart. This nurse says I won’t come round from the anaesthetic for hours, and even then I’ll be so groggy I won’t be able to put one foot in front of the other. And they’ll have to change the dressings and there might be a drain too—’

  ‘What’s a drain?’

  ‘I don’t know. Look, darling, I can’t go into all the ins and outs of it. I’ve borrowed the mobile from the lady in the bed next to me seeing as you’ve got mine so I’ll have to be quick. Let me say hello to Kendall.’

  I handed the phone over to him. Mum was obviously asking him questions because he kept nodding.

  ‘Say something, Kendall – Mum can’t see you,’ I said.

  ‘Hello, Mum,’ said Kendall. ‘Mum, can I go and see the real George again? Will you take me? And can I have some more toy sharks and then if we got some glass I could have my own aquarium and – Ouch! Stop it, Lola Rose! Give me the phone back, it’s my turn to talk to Mum.’

  ‘She doesn’t want to listen to you burbling on about your stupid sharks,’ I said. ‘Mum?’

  ‘You kids,’ said Mum. ‘Look, Lola Rose, I’ll try to give you a ring tomorrow morning some time. I’ll have to go now. Bye, darling. Be a good girl, eh?’

  The phone went dead.

  ‘You hurt me when you pushed me!’ Kendall said, rubbing his chest. ‘I think you’ve given me cancer now.’

  ‘Shut up, Kendall.’

  ‘You’re so mean to me. Everyone’s mean to me,’ Kendall whined. ‘Mum’s mean. She said she’d be back today and I need her.’

  ‘I need her too,’ I said. ‘Now stop complaining, finish your cornflakes and get ready for school.’

  I was glad to get there. It made everything seem more normal. I didn’t want to discuss Mum with Harpreet. Luckily we had a sex education lesson and