Little Stars Read online

  ‘No, don’t go, Bertie!’ said Diamond, rushing to him. ‘Please stay!’

  ‘Diamond, we have particular work to do,’ I said meaningfully.

  Back at the circus, Diamond had done anything I told her. She’d followed me around like a little shadow and never argued. But now she seemed more independent.

  ‘No! I don’t want to,’ she said. ‘I don’t like being that stupid doll – you’ll only be vexed with me, Hetty, because I can’t say the words properly. I want to play with Bertie!’

  ‘Quite right,’ said Bertie. He looked at me, his head on one side. ‘You play doll games with Diamond?’

  ‘No! I mean, yes. To keep her amused,’ I said, because I didn’t want to tell Bertie we were going to have another attempt at impressing Mrs Ruby. ‘Yes, we play doll games. Now please go, Bertie. You’re getting Diamond over-excited. She’s still only little.’

  ‘No I’m not,’ said Diamond, stung. ‘We’re not playing doll games for me. It’s our new music-hall act.’

  ‘Is it, indeed!’ said Bertie. ‘Tell me more.’

  ‘You are little, but you’ve got a very big mouth, Diamond,’ I snapped.

  ‘So you’ve not given up? You’re working on a new act?’ said Bertie. ‘That’s just like you, Hetty. You’re never a girl to give up. Let me see this act, then, girls!’

  ‘Absolutely not,’ I said.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because I’d feel silly. You’d make me feel self-conscious,’ I said.

  ‘You can’t perform in front of one friend, yet you feel you’ll be fine in front of two thousand strangers?’

  I was silenced.

  ‘Come on, Hetty.’

  ‘You’ll laugh at us,’ I said in a small voice.

  ‘Well, is your act meant to be funny?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then I’ll laugh my head off,’ Bertie said. ‘But if there are tragic bits, I’ll blub like a baby. I’m your ideal audience, girls. Come on, let’s get the show started!’ He sat on the counter again and started clapping hopefully.

  I felt ridiculously nervous, but I didn’t want to appear a coward in front of Bertie.

  ‘Come on, Diamond, let’s show him,’ I said, fluffing out her hair. ‘You’ll have to imagine Diamond got up like a little fairy doll, Bertie. Imagine me as a little girl too, in a pastel frock and pinafore, my hair in plaits.’

  ‘Oh, what a picture!’ he said.

  I placed a chair in the middle of the floor, then took Diamond’s hand. We went to the side of the shop.

  ‘Up you get,’ I whispered to Diamond.

  She jumped up into my arms, resting on my hip.

  ‘Keep your arms and legs stiff, as if you really are a china doll. Stare straight ahead and do your circus smile,’ I whispered. ‘Right, we’re going on stage now.’

  I started the birthday routine and introduced Diamond, my new dolly. I felt sick with embarrassment at having to lisp coy nonsense in front of Bertie, but he gave us nods of encouragement. I’d cut Diamond’s ‘I am very beautiful,’ speech because it gave her such trouble. I’d worked out a better way of introducing her.

  I sat down on the chair, Diamond on my knee. I kept one hand on her back, as if I were working her like a puppet.

  ‘There now, Diamond Dolly. Oh my, you’re so pretty. Such lovely long hair. And bright blue eyes!’

  On cue Diamond blinked her eyes and looked from left to right.

  ‘Oh goodness!’ I said, pretending to be alarmed. ‘You look almost real!’

  I tapped Diamond on the back. She turned her head slowly to look at me.

  ‘I-am-real,’ she said.

  I gave a little scream. Diamond screamed too. We turned our heads away from each other. Then looked back – and let out two screams again.

  ‘Why are you screaming?’ I said.

  ‘I’m-cop-y-ing-you-be-cause-you’re-my-mum-my,’ Diamond chanted without expression. But I could see it didn’t matter. Somehow it made our act even funnier. Bertie was sitting back, kicking his heels on the counter, looking delighted.

  I felt a thrill of pure joy. It was like being back in the circus ring, playing around with my announcements while the audience cheered. It was better because I was part of the act this time.

  We carried on with our routine. I felt like hugging Diamond – she’d truly memorized everything and didn’t forget her words once, not even the complicated argy-bargy of sharing our pocket money. We had a penny and a halfpenny and couldn’t manage to share it equally. I said I wanted to buy a dolly from the toyshop who didn’t argue with me. Diamond said she wanted to buy a girl from the human shop who didn’t argue with her.

  We tried to go off in different directions – but Diamond stood stiffly, unable to move without me, her mouth opening and closing silently. So then we kissed and made up and I picked Diamond up and skipped off with her.

  Bertie was looking expectantly at us. Then he frowned. ‘Is that it?’

  ‘Yes. What do you think?’ I asked eagerly.

  ‘It’s not long enough.’ Bertie consulted his pocket watch. ‘Three minutes tops. You’re over in a flash. It won’t work.’

  ‘Well, all right, we’ll make it longer,’ I said impatiently. ‘But you think the general gist works? You seemed to be enjoying it.’

  ‘Yes, it was very sweet as a little party piece. I’m not sure it would work as a music-hall act, though.’

  ‘And why not?’

  ‘Because it’s not spectacular enough.’

  ‘I didn’t see you jumping through flaming hoops or catapulting out of a cannon,’ I said crossly. ‘You just sang and danced.’

  ‘No need to get shirty, Hetty. I’m just trying to help,’ said Bertie.

  ‘Aren’t we good enough, Bertie?’ asked Diamond.

  ‘You’re absolutely wonderful, little Twinkle,’ said Bertie. ‘You make a brilliant dolly, sweetheart.’ He looked at me. ‘But you need to do something else with her. Look at the way the kid can jump – right up onto my shoulders! You should capitalize on her skills. She’s the little star.’

  It was as if he’d thrown a bucket of icy water all over me. It was hard admitting it, but I wanted to be the star. Or if I didn’t have any special talents, I wanted to be the director of our act. I resented Bertie’s suggestions bitterly, even though I knew he was right.

  I mumbled some excuse about needing the privy, and ran out of the door into the yard.

  ‘It’s not fair!’ I wailed, walking round and round in a temper. I kicked a bucket, I bashed my hand against the fence, I took hold of the handlebars of the penny-farthing and shook it. Then I stared at it and suddenly leaped onto the machine. I rode it around the yard, working things out in my head.

  I saw where I’d gone wrong. When the clowns had capered into the ring and performed comically badly, they hadn’t ended their act there. They had suddenly taken the whole audience by surprise by attempting a really difficult trick and performing it splendidly. That’s what Diamond and I would do.

  I rewrote lines in my head, changing the pocket-money dispute, working out tricks. I’d have to be patient. We’d need to rehearse for days. But we could do it. I was sure of it now.

  DIAMOND AND I laboured along the road to the Cavalcade. I rode the penny-farthing, while Diamond struggled along the pavement behind me, clutching Mrs Ruby’s finished gown, carefully folded up in a huge muslin bag. We were both in costume. Diamond was wearing her fairy outfit and looked adorable. I looked more comical. I’d had to work on my outfit at lightning speed, begging odd lengths of material from Miss Gibson and stitching them together in a crazy patchwork. I’d only had time to cut out the white broderie-anglaise pinafore and tack it together, leaving the hem unsewn, but I hoped a few dangling threads wouldn’t spoil the general impression.

  I’d applied rouge to our cheeks and tied ribbons in our hair. I left Diamond’s loose and flowing, and fashioned my own into two plaits. It made me feel very much a foundling again. My skin even started