Little Stars Read online

  ‘But I don’t want to! I want to act with you!’

  ‘Well, perhaps you’ll be able to one day, when your current contract is finished. Though heaven knows whether we’ll still be treading the boards by then. Let us hope so for both our sakes! Now chin up, dearie. We’ve another whole week to go. Enjoy being Alice while you can.’

  I did enjoy being Alice, but it was a bitter-sweet experience now.

  ‘I shall so miss performing with the Players. Won’t you, Diamond?’ I said.

  ‘Well, I like being a pussycat in my furry suit. But I wouldn’t want to do any other acting. I can’t say the words right,’ she said.

  ‘I’m sure you could if I had time to teach you. If only we didn’t have to stay at the Cavalcade for three whole years. I so want to be one of Mr Parkinson’s Players,’ I said, sighing.

  ‘But we couldn’t really go, could we?’

  ‘No, because of this wretched contract.’

  ‘But we couldn’t go anyway, not without Bertie!’ she said.

  It was a shock to realize that I hadn’t even thought about Bertie. I felt terribly guilty, and was extra sweet to him in consequence. He sensed I was unhappy, though, and kept asking me what was wrong.

  ‘I’m just going to miss the Players so,’ I said, truthfully enough.

  ‘But you’ll still have your Little Stars act. And make your pretty dresses for everyone. And have Diamond – and me.’

  I must have frowned. Bertie sighed impatiently. ‘Honestly, Hetty, you’re never satisfied. You always want more.’

  I remembered Jem saying something very similar when I was little and begged him to take me back to the circus when I’d only just been.

  I smiled wryly. ‘I can’t help it, Bertie,’ I said. ‘It’s just the way I’m made.’

  The last time I played Alice was enormously poignant. I wanted to savour that special hour, but it sped past in a flash, and there I was, hand in hand with Miss Royal and Mr Parkinson, taking my final bow. When I stood there on my own, the audience cheering, I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks. As soon as I was off stage I started sobbing.

  ‘Don’t cry, sweetheart,’ said Miss Royal. ‘We’re going to Maudie’s for a little celebration. Will you join us?’

  ‘Oh, I’d love to!’ I said, sniffling.

  ‘I’m not sure about Diamond, though. She looks far too young for nightclubs.’

  I looked round for Bertie, who had been standing in the wings, clapping us. ‘Do you think you could do me a great big favour, Bertie?’ I begged.

  ‘Of course,’ he said, smiling.

  ‘Could you walk Diamond home for me? I’m sure Miss Gibson will give her a warm drink and put her to bed.’

  ‘So what are you doing?’ he asked. He wasn’t smiling now.

  ‘Miss Royal’s asked me to come to a little party at Maudie’s, to celebrate the end of the show.’

  ‘You’re going to the nightclub on your own?’

  ‘No, of course not. I said, I’m going with Miss Royal and Mr Parkinson and the other players.’

  ‘And you want me to act as nursemaid while you go off gallivanting?’

  ‘Oh, Bertie. Never mind. I’ll take her home myself, and then I’ll go back,’ I said wearily.

  ‘No, I’ll take her. You’ll walk with me, won’t you, Twinkle?’ he said, offering her his arm.

  ‘Of course I will, Bertie!’ said Diamond. ‘I like walking with you best of all.’

  ‘There! Someone still cares for me.’

  ‘Don’t act this way, please. This is such a big night for me,’ I said.

  ‘I know. And I hoped we’d celebrate your success as Alice together,’ he told me.

  ‘You’re just saying that to make me feel bad! I don’t think you had any plans at all,’ I said. ‘Diamond, be a good girl.’

  I marched off to Miss Royal’s dressing room and waited there while she played her Juliet scene. She came back looking white with exhaustion, but smiled when she saw me.

  I watched while she removed her greasepaint with cold cream, and then washed her face and brushed her wonderful long hair, tying it up in several shining coils. She went behind her Japanese screen and changed into one of her new art dresses, a deep sea green with a shimmering silver thread.

  ‘I love your dress! I meant to try to make you one. I’ve made dresses for Mrs Ruby and Lily Lark, but I’ve been so busy the last few weeks. I’ll make you one even so, and send it to you in London,’ I said.

  ‘That’s very kind of you, Emerald. I’d love that. But I already have my Juliet dress. You’ve completely transformed it.’

  ‘I think you’ve completely transformed me,’ I said. ‘I always thought I wanted to be a writer, but now, more than anything, I want to be an actress! Do you really think I have talent, or are you just being kind to me?’

  ‘I really think it,’ she said. ‘Oh, Emerald, you remind me so much of myself when I was young! I feel like your mother.’

  ‘You could be like a second mother to me, now that I’ve lost my own dear mama,’ I said shyly.

  My little star! Aren’t I your second mother? Madame Adeline seemed to be peering out of Miss Royal’s looking glass, her face stricken.

  I felt my stomach twist with guilt, but I couldn’t unsay the words.

  ‘You’re such a sweet intense little creature.’ Miss Royal eyed me up and down. ‘You look about seven in your Alice costume. I think you’d better take off your pinafore and your stripy socks if you’re coming to Maudie’s. I’ll lend you some stockings. What size shoe do you take? I think you need little heels instead of those pumps. And perhaps we’ll put your hair up too.’

  She fiddled and fussed with me, deftly transforming me into a young lady. I loved her black stockings with clocks and her pearl-grey heeled shoes with satin ribbons. They were much too big for me, but I rolled the stocking tops over and over above my knees and stuffed handkerchiefs into the toes of both shoes.

  Then we met up with the other players and set off for Maudie’s. Mr Parkinson gave his arm to Miss Royal. I walked a little behind, until Harry Henderson bowed to me and offered his own arm. Stella walked with Cecil, the young romantic lead. She was clearly hoping he’d take her arm, but he was talking to Alfie, the comic turn. At the rear came Mr and Mrs Greatorex, a middle-aged married couple who had played the Mad Hatter and March Hare to perfection, working a puppet Dormouse between them. I felt as fond of them all now as if they were proper family.

  When we got to Maudie’s, Mr Parkinson ordered champagne and oysters for everyone. I didn’t touch my oysters, but I couldn’t resist the sparkling champagne. I drank it with such enthusiasm the bubbles went right up my nose. They all drank a toast to me – ‘Our little Alice!’ – and my heart thumped with joy. I downed my glass and then drank another. And perhaps one more. I seemed to have lost count. The bubbles were tickling my insides. I laughed and chatted and bounced about the table, talking to everyone as if they were my dearest friends in all the world.

  Then Mr Parkinson looked up and waved at some new arrivals, beckoning them to our table. Oh Lord, it was Mrs Ruby and Samson! Mrs Ruby frowned when she saw me, but Samson grinned. I should have been wary, but now I was this new bubbly sparkling girl, dancing about in her borrowed pearl-grey heels. I waved at them.

  ‘My, my, you’ve grown up all of a sudden, Little Star!’ said Samson.

  ‘She’s still a child,’ said Mrs Ruby sharply. ‘I think it’s time you went home, Hetty.’

  ‘She’s our little Emerald for tonight,’ said Miss Royal. ‘But she certainly is a Little Star.’

  ‘Yes, look at me sparkling!’ I said, and I twirled round and round. The room twirled too, and I had to clutch the back of a chair to stop myself falling over.

  ‘Whoops! I think you’re a little the worse for wear, poppet,’ said Harry, steadying me. ‘Let me help you outside. We’ll call a cab to take you home.’ He got to his feet unsteadily. ‘Oh my, old Uncle Harry’s a little bit pickled too!’