The Space Between Us Read online

  “And we’re making cocoa and popcorn and talking about board games.”

  I loved this gas stove, being able to adjust the heat just so. I bent to eye the flame, but caught sight of her as I straightened. “Yeah? It’s great. Totally relaxing.”

  I needed a night like this, doing nothing. I hadn’t been off on a Sunday in forever. I’d worked the early shift today and come straight home, looking forward to the downtime.

  Meredith didn’t say anything, just watched as I stirred the heating milk. I wanted to make sure it didn’t scald. I used a small wire whisk, which made me think of something.

  “You know, I was thinking about getting Charlie a milk frother for Christmas. What do you think?”

  “Why would Charlie want a milk frother?”

  “For cocoa. And coffee. He likes lattes—”

  “Charlie drinks his coffee black.”

  I looked at her. “Sometimes, sure. But he also likes lattes.”

  “Since when?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Since I started making them for him? But it would be easier with a milk frother. Faster. He could do it for himself in the mornings.”

  “Did he say he wanted a milk frother?”

  I stirred the bubbling milk slowly and eased it off the heat. “No. But I thought he might like one, anyway. Besides,” I offered, “you could use it, too.”

  “I don’t have any interest in making my own lattes.”

  I paused, then looked at her. “Not everyone has the advantage of being able to come in to the coffee shop and have their lattes made for them, you know.”

  Not that she’d been lately.

  “Charlie barely even likes coffee.”

  I turned off the burner and put the pot aside. I faced her. “Well, what are you getting him?”

  “I haven’t decided yet.” She shrugged as if it didn’t matter, though Christmas was only a couple weeks away.

  I grinned. “What are you getting me?”

  Meredith sighed. Shrugged again. “What do you want?”

  “Hey. What’s wrong?” I tried to hug her, but she turned away. “Are you mad about something?”

  “I’m mad because it’s Saturday night and we’re just sitting at home like…like an old married couple!”

  “We are an old married couple,” Charlie said from the doorway. “How’s the cocoa coming?”

  “It’s done. Haven’t made the popcorn yet.” I looked at Meredith. “You want to go out?”

  She stared at both of us. “We haven’t been out together in forever.”

  She’d been out doing home parties three nights the week before. And I’d been at work on the late shift most of those nights, plus some extra. I knew she and Charlie had gone to some holiday party for his work, something I hadn’t attended, of course, and she and I had gone shopping for groceries together. But she was right, the three of us hadn’t gone out for fun in a while.

  “I figured we’d just hang out here at home,” Charlie said.

  I’d been hunting in the cupboard for the popcorn, but now I stopped to glance at them both. “Yeah, what’s wrong with just hanging out? We haven’t done that together in a long time, either.”

  She sighed. “Fine. Whatever.”

  She pushed past Charlie, but he caught her by the arms to stop her. “Meredith, wait. If you want to go out…I guess we could. Right, Tesla? What do you want to do, honey? We already had dinner. I guess we could see what’s playing at the movies.”

  “Never mind.” She didn’t look at either of us. “You two watch a scary movie on Interflix. I’m going upstairs to take a hot bath and read.”

  “We could join you,” Charlie said, his voice trailing off when I shook my head at him.

  Meredith didn’t even answer him, just left the room. Charlie and I stared at each other. He looked confused.

  “Everyone needs some time alone,” I told him. “And she’s in a mood. You should know better by now.”

  “I just wanted—”

  “Charlie.”

  He stopped. I went to him, stood on my toes, kissed his mouth gently. “You can’t fix her. She’s pissy about whatever it is she’s pissy about. Anything you say or do right now is going to make her pissier.”

  He nodded, his hands finding their comfortable resting place on my hips. “Should we go out? She wanted to.”

  I tried to keep myself from making a face, and didn’t quite manage. “Like Mick says, you can’t always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need.”

  Charlie looked upward at the sound of Meredith’s footsteps overhead. “Well…I wish I knew what she needs.”

  “Me, too, honey,” I said with a sigh, and kissed him again. “Me, too.”

  Chapter 33

  Christmas has always been my favorite time of year.

  We had a tree, of course. It was a fake one, prestrung with lights. I didn’t much like the way it looked, the limbs all perfect. There was no smell. It was pretty yet sort of vacant, not at all like a Christmas tree should be, but I didn’t say so because Meredith obviously preferred it that way. At Vic’s house we always had a real tree, bought when all of us, Cap included, tramped out through the rows and rows at the Christmas tree farm to pick out the very best. We strung popcorn for it every year, eating more than ended up in the garland, but we also had regular ornaments. Every year Elaine bought all of us a new and special ornament, and I missed them. I missed all of them.

  That perfect tree in this perfect house, with Charlie and Meredith the perfect couple…there was only one flawed thing in all of it, and that was me.

  In contrast to Meredith’s recent snappish attitude, she’d spent the past few days in a giddy, bubbly and utterly charming mood. She was the Meredith I’d first met, sexy and spontaneous, and it should’ve been even better, since now, instead of mooning over her with a silly crush, I was actually in a relationship with her. I had not one gorgeous and attentive lover, but two.

  Why, then, did I feel so alone?

  Part of it was the extra hours I’d picked up at the Mocha. Because we were planning to take a trip to Vermont to go skiing during Charlie’s school break, I wanted to get in as many hours as I could. It meant long days and nights away from home that I’d formerly spent with Meredith and Charlie. Now, just like they had before inviting me into their life, they spent those evenings alone, most times even going to bed together before I got home.

  “Where’s your girlfriend?” Carlos asked me from behind his laptop. “Haven’t seen her here in forever.”

  “Oh…” I shrugged. It was funny to hear him call her my girlfriend, even if I knew he was mostly being silly. “She says it’s dumb to pay for the coffee when she gets the coffee girl for free.”

  “Maybe she just heard all the stories she wanted to hear,” Carlos said. “She tapped us dry, moved on.”

  I laughed, though I didn’t understand what he was talking about. “Huh?”

  Carlos pursed his lips. “Our stories. You know how she always came in and got us talking about stories. Maybe when we didn’t have any more, she got tired of us.”

  The whole shop smelled of cinnamon, spice, gingerbread. Holiday smells that suddenly turned my stomach. “I think she’s just been busy.”

  Carlos opened his mouth. Closed it. Shrugged and turned his attention to his computer. I didn’t have time to ask him what he meant, because Sadie came through the door, and I hurried to help him pull out a chair for her. She looked ready to pop.

  “What the heck?” I asked, but gently, seeing the look of strain on her face. “Sadie, wow, should you be out and about?”

  “I’m going crazy at home,” she admitted. “I’m nearly a week overdue. The midwife says she’s not ready to induce me yet, and she encouraged me to be active. She said short walks would be good for me.”

  Sadie managed a smile. “It took me forty-five minutes to heft my bulk over here. I just need some hot cocoa and something sweet, and I’m going to sit here in the corner and read my