The Space Between Us Read online

  “Hey. Just because you’re uncouth doesn’t mean we have to eat like heathens.”

  My brother laughed. “Stepping up in the world, huh? Fancy new digs, fancy-pants napkins.”

  “Sit down and eat, you moron,” I told him, but fondly.

  Not much got between Cap and his food, so the conversation was minimal while we packed away the grub. That was fine with me, too. Meredith talked through every meal, which was probably why she stayed so skinny. She chewed more words than food.

  Cap finally sat back from his plate with a loud, long sigh and a resounding belch. “Superb meal.”

  “Thanks.” I wiped my mouth with the fancy napkin and contemplated another few bites of stuffing. “I’m a fine-ass cook, huh?”

  “You know it.” Cap stretched his long arms and linked his hands behind his head as he tipped the chair back. “Gimme a few minutes before I’ll be ready for pie.”

  “Help me clear the table. That will help work up an appetite.” I laughed at his groan of protest. “Fine. Maybe we can just collapse into a turkey coma on the couch and watch some bad TV for a little bit first.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” Cap grinned.

  For just the two of us I hadn’t made as much food as I would’ve for a full group, and we’d eaten most of it, so I had no guilt about leaving what was left on the table for a little while so we could veg out and relax. I was so full and sleepy I wasn’t sure I could’ve managed a full cleanup, anyway. Besides, the pie still needed to cool a little before we could eat it.

  In the living room, Cap looked everything over. I knew he was noting the cost of the furniture, the flat-screen, probably even the collection of DVDs and video games. Not that he was judging anything by how expensive it was or not, just that Cap did that sort of thing. Noticed stuff.

  “So…that’s her, huh?” He was looking at Charlie and Meredith’s wedding photo. “Your friend?”

  “Yep.” I flopped on the couch, sprawling, and dug the remote out of the cushions.

  “She was married?”

  I paused. I’d been sure Vic would’ve filled Cap in on the whole sordid story. “She’s still married. That’s Charlie, her husband.”

  Cap stared at the picture for a long time. “So…you live with both of them?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  He looked at me, assessing. I could practically hear the gears turning, but in true Cap form he just shrugged and took his place beside me on the couch. No matter what he thought about it, and I knew he thought plenty, he wasn’t going to say anything. But to my surprise, he did.

  “You should be careful, Tesla.”

  I could remember times when I’d hated my baby brother. When he broke my stuff or had tantrums to get his own way or just in general had done whatever he could to work my nerves just because he knew he could. The truth was, though, we were closer than a lot of people I knew were with their siblings, and part of the reason was because while I sometimes long ago might’ve hated him, I genuinely liked Cap.

  “Thanks, but it’s fine. It’s all good.” I handed him the remote. “It’s not like it was with Mom and Dad, okay? Here, anything but football.”

  Cap looked disappointed but dutifully clicked channels until he came across some game show that had contestants running through obstacle courses and water hazards. “Even so. They’re married. This is their house. It’s not like living with Vic and Elaine, right?”

  “God. No.” I wanted to make that clear. I wasn’t sure how much Cap had ever known about what had happened between me and Vic so long ago, but I figured he at least suspected. “Way different.”

  “So. Just be careful, that’s all. And you know if you need someplace, you can always come crash with me.”

  “Uh-huh. What about Miss Lyndsay?” I poked his side. “Think she’d be down with that?”

  Cap stared steadfastly at the television, but I couldn’t miss the hint of red flushing his throat and cheeks. I couldn’t pass up the chance to grill him about it. Wasn’t that what big sisters were for?

  “What’s going on? Captain?”

  At the use of his full name, he shot me a glare. “Nothing.”

  “C’mon, Cap. I know you’re into her. And she’s pretty cute. She seems to like you, too. So…”

  “So nothing, okay?” He finger-stabbed the remote. “It’s not like that. We’re roommates.”

  I had no doubts that’s how they’d started out, but I also believed things had become something else, and quite some time ago, too. The question was, which of them was pretending it wasn’t more? I had my bets on Lynds, though I wouldn’t have put it past Cap to be inadvertently playing hard to get. My brother had a super scary smart brain in the head of a hulking lunk, with hands the size of frying pans. Sometimes the lunk took over the brain. That was never pretty.

  “I’m sort of seeing someone, anyway,” he said, and I was totally floored.

  “What? Who? Since when?”

  He shrugged, uncomfortable. “Friend of Elaine’s sister.”

  “Wait a minute. You’re dating a friend of Nancy’s?” I laughed. Loudly. “Is she like Nancy?”

  Cap scowled. “If she was, would I be going out with her?”

  “I dunno, Cap, would you?”

  He made a face. “Her name’s Missy. She’s in nursing school. She’s…nice.”

  That didn’t sound promising. “Uh-huh. And?”

  Another shrug and steadfast glare at the TV. His last stab had turned on the home shopping channel. I knew there was no way he was really watching it. I mean, I love Torchwood as much as I love chocolate cake, but watching John Barrowman hawk costume jewelry was totally not Cap’s style.

  “What does Lynds think about it?” It was the only question I could think to ask. It seemed like an important one.

  “What difference does it make what she thinks? She goes out with lots of guys all the time.”

  “She does?” I hadn’t known that, but watching my brother’s face as he refused to look at me, I could see he’d known it for a long time. “Cappy, have you ever considered just telling Lyndsay that you love her?”

  He groaned and let his head fall against the back of the couch. “Yeah.”

  His answer surprised me. Cap could talk until your ears fell off about obscure trivia and esoteric philosophies. He could fix cars while talking about higher-level math theorems. But emotions? It seemed hard for him to acknowledge he had any, much less discuss them.

  “So, why don’t you?”

  “Because I’m not stupid.”

  I patted his shoulder. “I know you’re not. So does she. You guys have lived together for what…a year?”

  “A year and seven months, actually. And four days,” he added. “Not counting the three months of weekends she spent there before she moved in permanently.”

  “Oh, count those, too.”

  He smiled a little and finally looked at me. “A long time, okay? Long enough for me to know how I feel.”

  “So why are you wasting your time with Missy? And her time, too?”

  “Because she’s nice. Because she likes me. Because Lynds is just my roommate and a buddy and…fuck.” Cap frowned and punched a big fist against his knee. “It’s just easier to be with Missy, okay? She doesn’t expect anything from me but dinner and a movie and maybe a hand job.”

  I recoiled. It was one thing to assume my baby brother was finger-banging some chick in the front seat of his car after a night out, but it wasn’t something I wanted to hear about in detail. “Whoa.”

  Cap sighed. “Missy’s just a girl, that’s all. And Lynds…”

  “Yeah. I know.” I really did. I patted his shoulder again. “But if you don’t tell her, how’s she supposed to know?”

  His expression turned grim. “It doesn’t matter.”

  There was no point in pushing him. I sat back. “Okay. But you know I’m here for you, if you need someone to talk to. I got your back.”

  He laughed, not quite his usual hearty chortle,