Heartbreaker Read online

  Chapter Eleven

  SHE HAD TO be crazy; she knew that. The last thing she wanted was to see Roger, yet here she was trying to find him, even though she suspected he was trying to kill her. No, she wanted to find him because of that. She certainly didn’t want to die, but she wanted this to be over. Only then could she lead a normal life.

  She wanted that life to be with John, but she had never fooled herself that their relationship was permanent, and the mood he was in these days could herald the end of it. Nothing she did seemed to please him, except when they were in bed, but perhaps that was just a reflection of his intense sex drive and any woman would have done.

  Her nerves were so raw that she couldn’t even think of eating the morning she planned to go to the house, and she paced restlessly, waiting until she saw John get in his pickup and drive across the pastures. She hadn’t wanted him to know she was going anywhere; he asked too many questions, and it was hard to hide anything from him. She would only be gone half an hour, anyway, because when it came down to it, she didn’t have the courage to leave herself hanging out as bait. All she could manage was one quick drive by; then she would come home.

  She listened to the radio in an effort to calm her nerves as she drove slowly down the narrow gravel road. It came as a shock that the third hurricane of the season, Hurricane Carl, had formed in the Atlantic and was meandering toward Cuba. She had completely missed the first two storms. She hadn’t even noticed that summer had slid into early autumn, because the weather was still so hot and humid, perfect hurricane weather.

  Though she carefully searched both sides of the road for any sign of a car tucked away under the trees, she didn’t see anything. The morning was calm and lazy. No one else was on the road. Frustrated, she turned around to drive back to the house.

  A sudden wave of nausea hit her, and she had to halt the car. She opened the door and leaned out, her stomach heaving even though it was empty and nothing came out. When the spasm stopped she leaned against the steering wheel, weak and perspiring. This had hung on far too long to be a virus.

  She lay there against the steering wheel for a long time, too weak to drive and too sick to care. A faint breeze wafted into the open door, cooling her hot face, and just as lightly the truth eased into her mind.

  If this was a virus, it was the nine-month variety.

  She let her head fall back against the seat, and a smile played around her pale lips. Pregnant. Of course. She even knew when it had happened: the night John had come home from Miami. He had been making love to her when she woke up, and neither of them had thought of taking precautions. She had been so on edge she hadn’t noticed that she was late.

  John’s baby. It had been growing inside her for almost five weeks. Her hand drifted down to her stomach, a sense of utter contentment filling her despite the miserable way she felt. She knew the problems this would cause, but for the moment those problems were distant, unimportant compared to the blinding joy she felt.

  She began to laugh, thinking of how sick she’d been. She remembered reading in some magazine that women who had morning sickness were less likely to miscarry than women who didn’t; if that were true, this baby was as secure as Fort Knox. She still felt like death warmed over, but now she was happy to feel that way.

  “A baby,” she whispered, thinking of a tiny, sweet-smelling bundle with a mop of thick black hair and melting black eyes, though she realized any child of John Rafferty’s would likely be a hellion.

  But she couldn’t continue sitting in the car, which was parked more on the road than off. Shakily, hoping the nausea would hold off until she could get home, she put the car in gear and drove back to the ranch with painstaking caution. Now that she knew what was wrong, she knew what to do to settle her stomach. And she needed to make an appointment with a doctor.

  Sure enough, her stomach quieted after she ate a meal of dry toast and weak tea. Then she began to think about the problems.

  Telling John was the first problem and, to Michelle, the biggest. She had no idea how he would react, but she had to face the probability that he would not be as thrilled as she was. She feared he was getting tired of her anyway; if so, he’d see the baby as a burden, tying him to a woman he no longer wanted.

  She lay on the bed, trying to sort out her tangled thoughts and emotions. John had a right to know about his child, and, like it or not, he had a responsibility to it. On the other hand, she couldn’t use the baby to hold him if he wanted to be free. Bleak despair filled her whenever she tried to think of a future without John, but she loved him enough to let him go. Since their first day together she had been subconsciously preparing for the time when he would tell her that he didn’t want her any longer. That much was clear in her mind.

  But what if he decided that they should marry because of the baby? John took his responsibilities seriously, even to the point of taking a wife he didn’t want for the sake of his child. She could be a coward and grab for anything he offered, on the basis that the crumbs of affection that came her way would be better than nothing, or she could somehow find the courage to deny herself the very thing she wanted most. Tears filled her eyes, the tears that came so easily these days. She sniffled and wiped them away.

  She couldn’t decide anything; her emotions were seesawing wildly between elation and depression. She didn’t know how John would react, so any plans she made were a waste of time. This was something they would have to work out together.

  She heard someone ride up, followed by raised, excited voices outside, but cowboys were always coming and going at the ranch, and she didn’t think anything of it until Edie called upstairs, “Michelle? Someone’s hurt. The boys are bringing him in— My God, it’s the boss!” She yelled the last few words and Michelle shot off the bed. Afterward she never remembered running down the stairs; all she could remember was Edie catching her at the front door as Nev and another man helped John down from a horse. John was holding a towel to his face, and blood covered his hands and arms, and soaked his shirt.

  Michelle’s face twisted, and a thin cry burst from her throat. Edie was a big, strong woman, but somehow Michelle tore free of her clutching arms and got to John. He shrugged away from Nev and caught Michelle with his free arm, hugging her to him. “I’m all right,” he said gruffly. “It looks worse than it is.”

  “You’d better get to a doc, boss,” Nev warned. “Some of those cuts need stitches.”

  “I will. Get on back to the men and take care of things.” John gave Nev a warning look over Michelle’s head, and though one eye was covered with the bloody towel, Nev got the message. He glanced quickly at Michelle, then nodded.

  “What happened?” Michelle cried frantically as she helped John into the kitchen. His arm was heavy around her shoulders, which told her more than anything that he was hurt worse than he wanted her to know. He sank onto one of the kitchen chairs.

  “I lost control of the truck and ran into a tree,” he muttered. “My face hit the steering wheel.”

  She put her hand on the towel to keep it in place, feeling him wince even under her light touch, and lifted his hand away. She could see thin shards of glass shining in the black depths of his hair.

  “Let me see,” she coaxed, and eased the towel away from his face.

  She had to bite her lip to keep from moaning. His left eye was already swollen shut, and the skin on his cheekbone was broken open in a jagged wound. His cheekbone and brow ridge were already purple and turning darker as they swelled almost visibly, huge knots distorting his face. A long cut slanted across his forehead, and he was bleeding from a dozen other smaller cuts. She took a deep breath and schooled her voice to evenness. “Edie, crush some ice to go on his eye. Maybe we can keep the swelling from getting any worse. I’ll get my purse and the car keys.”

  “Wait a minute,” John ordered. “I want to clean up a little; I’ve got blood and glass all over me.”

&nbs