Heartbreaker Read online

  “You’re going with me,” he said, his voice steely. “This is Saturday; it’ll be Monday before I can take care of the bill. There’s no way in hell I’m going to leave you here. God Almighty, you don’t even have water!”

  Michelle pushed her hair from her eyes. “I have water. I’ve been drawing it from the old well.”

  He began swearing again and turned from the closet to the dresser. Before she could say anything her underwear was added to the growing pile on the bed. “I can’t stay with you,” she said desperately, knowing events were already far out of her control. “You know how it’ll look! I can manage another couple of days—”

  “I don’t give a damn how it looks!” he snapped. “And just so you understand me, I’m going to give it to you in plain English. You’re going with me now, and you won’t be coming back. This isn’t a two-day visit. I’m tired of worrying about you out here all by yourself; this is the last straw. You’re too damned proud to tell me when you need help, so I’m going to take over and handle everything, the way I should have in the beginning.”

  Michelle shivered, staring at him. It was true that she shrank from the gossip she knew would run through the county like wildfire, but that wasn’t the main reason for her reluctance. Living with him would destroy the last fragile buffers she had retained against being overwhelmed by him in every respect. She wouldn’t be able to keep any emotional distance as a safety precaution, just as physical distance would be impossible. She would be in his home, in his bed, eating his food, totally dependent on him.

  It frightened her so much that she found herself backing away from him, as if by increasing the distance between them she could weaken his force and fury. “I’ve been getting by without you,” she whispered.

  “Is this what you call ‘getting by’?” he shouted, slinging the contents of another drawer onto the bed. “You were working yourself half to death, and you’re damned lucky you weren’t hurt trying to do a two-man job! You don’t have any money. You don’t have a safe car to drive. You probably don’t have enough to eat—and now you don’t have electricity.”

  “I know what I don’t have!”

  “Well, I’ll tell you something else you don’t have: a choice. You’re going. Now get dressed.”

  She stood against the wall on the other side of the room, very still and straight. When she didn’t move his head jerked up, but something about her made his mouth soften. She looked defiant and stubborn, but her eyes were frightened, and she looked so frail it was like a punch in the gut, staggering him.

  He crossed the room with quick strides and hauled her into his arms, folding her against him as if he couldn’t tolerate another minute of not touching her. He buried his face in her hair, wanting to sweep her up and keep her from ever being frightened again. “I won’t let you do it,” he muttered in a raspy voice. “You’re trying to keep me at a distance, and I’ll be damned if I’ll let you do it. Does it matter so much if people know about us? Are you ashamed because I’m not a member of your jet set?”

  She gave a shaky laugh, her fingers digging into his back. “Of course not. I’m not one of the jet set.” How could any woman ever be ashamed of him?

  His lips brushed her forehead, leaving warmth behind. “Then what is it?”

  She bit her lip, her mind whirling with images of the past and fears of the future. “The summer I was nineteen…you called me a parasite.” She had never forgotten the words or the deep hurt they’d caused, and an echo of it was in her low, drifting voice. “You were right.”

  “Wrong,” he whispered, winding his fingers through the strands of her bright hair. “A parasite doesn’t give anything, it only takes. I didn’t understand, or maybe I was jealous because I wanted it all. I have it all now, and I won’t give it up. I’ve waited ten years for you, baby; I’m not going to settle for half measures now.”

  He tilted her head back, and his mouth closed warmly, hungrily, over hers, overwhelming any further protests. With a little sigh Michelle gave in, going up on her tiptoes to press herself against him. Regrets could wait; if this were all she would have of heaven, she was going to grab it with both hands. He would probably decide that she’d given in so she could have an easier life, but maybe that was safer than for him to know she was head over heels in love with him.

  She slipped out of his arms and quietly changed into jeans and a silk tunic, then set about restoring order out of the chaos he’d made of her clothes. Traveling had taught her to be a fast, efficient packer. As she finished each case, he carried it out to the truck. Finally only her makeup and toiletries were left.

  “We’ll come back tomorrow for anything else you want,” he promised, holding the lamp for the last trip down the stairs. When she stepped outside he extinguished the lamp and placed it on the table, then followed her and locked the door behind him.

  “What will your housekeeper think?” she blurted nervously as she got in the truck. It hurt to be leaving her home. She had hidden herself away here, sinking deep roots into the ranch. She had found peace and healing in the hard work.

  “That I should have called to let her know when I’d be home,” he said, laughing as relief and anticipation filled him. “I came here straight from the airport. My bag is in back with yours.” He couldn’t wait to get home, to see Michelle’s clothing hanging next to his in the closet, to have her toiletries in his bathroom, to sleep with her every night in his bed. He’d never before wanted to live with a woman, but with Michelle it felt necessary. There was no way he would ever feel content with less than everything she had to give.

  Chapter Seven

  IT WAS MIDMORNING when Michelle woke, and she lay there for a moment alone in the big bed, trying to adjust to the change. She was in John’s house, in his bed. He had gotten up hours ago, before dawn, and left her with a kiss on the forehead and an order to catch up on her sleep. She stretched, becoming aware of both her nakedness and the ache in her muscles. She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to leave the comforting cocoon of sheets and pillows that carried John’s scent. The memory of shattering pleasure made her body tingle, and she moved restlessly. He hadn’t slept much, hadn’t let her sleep until he’d finally left the bed to go about his normal day’s work.

  If only he had taken her with him. She felt awkward with Edie, the housekeeper. What must she be thinking? They had met only briefly, because John had ushered Michelle upstairs with blatantly indecent haste, but her impression had been of height, dignity and cool control. The housekeeper wouldn’t say anything if she disapproved, but then, she wouldn’t have to; Michelle would know.

  Finally she got out of bed and showered, smiling wryly to herself as she realized she wouldn’t have to skimp on hot water. Central air-conditioning kept the house comfortably cool, which was another comfort she had given up in an effort to reduce the bills. No matter what her mental state, she would be physically comfortable here. It struck her as odd that she’d never been to John’s house before; she’d had no idea what to expect. Perhaps another old ranch house like hers, though her father had remodeled and modernized it completely on the inside before they had moved in, and it was in fact as luxurious as the home she had been used to. But John’s house was Spanish in style, and was only eight years old. The cool adobe-colored brick and high ceilings kept the heat at bay, and a colorful array of houseplants brought freshness to the air. She’d been surprised at the greenery, then decided that the plants were

  Edie’s doing. The U-shaped house wrapped around a pool landscaped to the point that it resembled a jungle lagoon more than a pool, and every room had a view of the pool and patio.

  She had been surprised at the luxury. John was a long way from poor, but the house had cost a lot of money that he would normally have plowed back into the ranch. She had expected something more utilitarian, but at the same time it was very much his home. His presence permeated it, and everything was arranged for his comfort.