Over the Moon Read online

  Stop and chat with a friend,

  or watch the world pass by from a café.

  See the beautiful scenery.

  Smell the fresh air and take a deep breath.

  Best town ever to live in

  ’cept for the threat of sudden death!

  CHORUS:

  Guess it’s true that life can change in the blink of an eye.

  I love living here, but don’t wanna die!

  NEWSBOY (CONT’D)

  Get your copy of the Hanoveria [Insert name of local paper, i.e. Times, Globe, Courant] here! Pied Piper’s house seized by the Department of Health!

  LUNA:

  Could it really be true?

  Could I finally be down here at last?

  What if somebody sees me?

  Better disguise myself very fast.

  Here’s a basket of laundry.

  I’ll take some clothes and they’ll never know.

  How to act like a human;

  maybe I start out with “hello”?

  (She dresses herself up as a boy)

  ALL:

  Guess it’s true that life can change in the blink of an eye.

  We love living here. Can’t you see why?

  BAKER

  (to fishmonger)

  Have you got a little smelt left?

  FISHMONGER

  I saved you some!

  LUNA

  (to baker)

  I think she likes you!

  (They look at her like she’s crazy)

  FLOWER LADY

  (to butcher)

  Any ribs today?

  BUTCHER

  I’m afraid not -- the giant let the cattle out of the pen and slaughtered them all!

  FLOWER LADY

  Better them than us! Well, maybe tomorrow.

  ALL:

  If you move here, you’ll love it,

  for there is just one tiny letdown.

  There’s a bloodthirsty giant

  who’s settled on the outskirts of town.

  He might slaughter your chickens,

  knock down your cottage, kidnap a waif.

  Lucky we’ve got a queen who’ll

  do what it takes to keep us safe!

  NEWSBOY

  Hey Diddle Diddle! Dish indicted for kidnapping spoon! Read all about it!

  (beat)

  It’s her Majesty!!!

  (FEROCIA enters trailed by GERTRUDE and EUNICE)

  FEROCIA:

  To all of Hanoveria,

  I know you live in fear-ia,

  but let me make it clear-ia.

  I feel your pain.

  And on this very solemn day,

  let each of us make sure to say

  the former king, my brother,

  did not die in vain.

  For when the giant came for him

  and tore him up from limb to limb,

  he saw the future looking grim

  and intervened.

  He called me on the verge of death

  and told me with his dying breath

  I must survive him nonetheless.

  ALL:

  Long live the queen.

  Guess it’s true that life can change in the blink of an eye.

  We love living here. Can’t you see why?

  NEWSBOY (CONT’D)

  Extra! Extra! Gay marriage law passes! Butcher, baker, and candlestick maker give it a thumbs-up!

  ALL:

  U.S. News did its ranking.

  We nabbed the highest spot of them all.

  Just one small bit of trouble,

  and it is standing ten feet tall.

  So we keep up pretenses,

  and we remember always to smile.

  If the giant returns, well,

  hope that it won’t be for a while!

  Guess it’s true that life can change in the blink of an eye.

  We love living here. Can’t you see why?

  Can’t you see why?

  At close of song, cast mills about.

  GERTRUDE

  Mama, isn’t it true that WE have nothing to worry about?

  EUNICE

  Royalty like us gives giants indigestion.

  GERTRUDE

  Our crowns get stuck in their teeth.

  EUNICE

  Well, I heard the giant hates everyone, and everything about Hanoveria.

  FEROCIA

  No, darling. That’s [Insert name of local rabble-rouser in news].

  They exit. Luna is in Ferocia’s path. Ferocia clears her throat, and Luna backs away.

  FELICITY hurries across the stage, PRINCE JACK in pursuit.

  FELICITY

  Wow!

  (feigning interest)

  A chicken can’t swallow upside down? That is absolutely fascinating, Jack!

  PRINCE JACK

  You. . .uh. . .y-you really think so?

  FELICITY

  No! All I think about is YOU leaving ME alone!

  She walks off. Jack follows, bumping Luna, who’s lovestruck.

  LUNA

  I. . .I’m sorry!

  PRINCE JACK

  Boys will be boys, right?

  LUNA

  Oh! But I’m not. . .

  Jack’s cousins hurry forward, arguing.

  EUNICE

  Gosh, Jack, could you be any slower?

  GERTRUDE

  He probably was talking to some girl.

  EUNICE

  (imitating Jack)

  Um, uh. . .d-do you know that a cow’s sweat glands are in its nose?

  GERTRUDE

  Nice pickup lines, Jack.

  EUNICE

  The only girl you’re gonna impress is Alex Trebek.

  They exit.

  PRINCE JACK

  (to Luna)

  Be careful out there.

  He smiles and exits.

  LUNA

  Jack.

  (to the fishmonger)

  Do you know that man?

  FISHMONGER

  Everyone knows him, boy. That’s the crown prince.

  SONG 3: WONDERFUL MORNING (Reprise)

  ALL:

  It’s a wonderful morning.

  It’s gonna be a wonderful day.

  Stop and chat with a friend,

  or watch the world pass by from a café.

  THE SONG IS INTERRUPTED as HUGO, the giant, enters. Everyone screams and scatters offstage. Hugo, left alone, picks up a baguette and leaves. Everyone comes out of hiding, slowly picking up the verse again.

  See the beautiful scenery.

  Smell the fresh air and take a deep breath.

  Best town ever to live in

  ’cept for the threat of sudden death!

  Guess it’s true that life can change in the blink of an eye.

  We love living here. Can’t you see why?

  Can’t you see why?

  SCENE 5: The bear cave

  Hairy Godmother appears on the side of the stage.

  HAIRY GODMOTHER

  The giant had been terrorizing the citizens of Hanoveria for 15 years -- ever since Ferocia took over the kingdom. Coincidence? I think not.

  But then again, in a fairy tale, nothing’s ever what it seems to be.

  (MORE)

  HAIRY GODMOTHER (CONT’D)

  Take a look for yourself.

  (He waves his magic wand; nothing happens)

  Oh, for Pete’s sake. I need some

  double A batteries, people!

  As he walks off, the scene opens. JEAN-CLAUDE, a servant, sits with MAMA BEAR, PAPA BEAR, and BABY BEAR watching TV. We “see” their program on the side of the stage, complete with a mini rap performance by LI’L RED FROM THE HOOD.

  JOHNNY NOVA

  Welcome back to Hanoveria Idol! You just heard Li’l Red From The Hood, rapping “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.” Remember, if you want Li’l Red to stay in the competition, you have to vote!

  MAMA BEAR

  I think her voice was too high.

  PAPA BEAR