Four Children and It Read online

  ‘You don’t half look daft, Rosalind,’ said Robbie, but I just stuck my tongue out at him.

  Smash was rushing around the rails, helping herself to armfuls of clothes.

  ‘Come on, Rosalind, let’s try them all on,’ she said, whirling around.

  ‘Oh, this is so boring!’ said Robbie.

  ‘You choose some clothes from the boys’ section, Robs,’ I said.

  ‘I don’t like those sorts of clothes – they don’t look comfy,’ said Robbie. ‘I’m going off to find this pet department.’

  ‘Oh, that’s not fair! I want to see the pets too – and it’s my wish,’ said Smash.

  ‘If you like, Robbie, I’ll get an assistant to pick out an outfit for you, and then we can go to check out the kitchen equipment while Smash and Rosalind and Maudie try on their clothes. Then we should all have time to go to see the pets together,’ said Naomi.

  It was a suggestion that pleased everyone, though Robbie was still surprised that she thought kitchen equipment his top priority. But he went off willingly enough while we had a wonderful time trying on all the outfits. Robbie returned looking utterly astonished.

  ‘Ros, Ros, you’ll never guess what! They had saucepans and baking dishes and knives and all sorts of stuff –’

  ‘So? Robbie, what do you think of these clothes? Do you think I look okay?’

  He barely gave my outfit a second glance, and simply shrugged.

  ‘I suppose,’ he said.

  I thought I looked wonderful. I’d chosen a deep-blue silky T-shirt with the moon and stars patterned on it, amazing black designer jeans that cost twenty times more than my old ones and a pair of sapphire-blue sparkly sneakers.

  ‘Ros, listen,’ said Robbie. ‘All that kitchen stuff – it was called the Robbie Range.’

  ‘Yeah? Well, you could pretend it’s your range then,’ I said.

  ‘But it is mine! It had my face on the packaging,’ said Robbie.

  ‘Are you sure?’ I said, not really interested. ‘Look at my shoes, Robbie!’

  ‘They’re a bit too sparkly,’ said Robbie. He suddenly looked worried. ‘I don’t have to wear sparkly shoes, do I? Dad won’t like it.’

  Naomi had chosen red boots for him, but they were plain canvas, with blue laces. He had new jeans too, and a red-and-blue checked shirt, perfect Robbie clothes.

  We’d had a hard time getting Maudie dressed because she insisted she wanted Big Girls’ clothes. She didn’t just mean styling, she meant sizing too, so all her chosen dresses trailed on the ground and she staggered along in enormous high heels.

  ‘You can choose one long dress and a pair of high heels for dressing up, Maudie. But I think you need something more your size for your show,’ Naomi said firmly. She picked out a beautiful little blue and green flowery dress with a tiny blue and green teddy tucked in a pocket in the front.

  ‘Maudie’s in a show?’ said Smash. ‘You look great, Maudie! Give us a twirl then to show off your flouncy new skirt.’

  Smash’s new skirt was the exact opposite, a tiny tight little strip of material that barely showed under her big black T-shirt. It had a great sparkly silver star and the word Superstar! embossed on the front. She had black tights and strappy silver heels, really quite high ones. I looked at her enviously, though I’d never have dared wear such an outfit myself.

  ‘Of course, Maudie’s in her special television show,’ said Naomi, as she paid the astronomic clothes bill. ‘And Robbie has his special show too.’

  ‘What about me?’ said Smash.

  Naomi laughed and pointed to Smash’s T-shirt.

  ‘Come on! You’re the superstar, Smash.’

  ‘Am I in a show?’ I asked, my tummy turning over.

  Naomi looked surprised.

  ‘No, Rosalind, though I’m sure that could be arranged. Would you like that?’

  ‘I – I don’t think so,’ I said.

  I knew I’d be absolutely terrified of going on television – and yet I didn’t really want to be left out either. Perhaps I was the only one of us who wasn’t rich and famous at all. Maybe I just hung out with my brother and sisters and helped them. I was surprised to find I minded quite a lot. But then the clothes assistant came over to me.

  ‘I know this is an awful cheek and terribly unprofessional of me – but could I possibly have your autograph, Rosalind? My daughter absolutely loves your books!’

  Naomi produced a pen and a postcard from her handbag. It was a postcard of me, sitting at a desk with one hand cupped under my chin, gazing dreamily into the distance. Underneath the photo there was a little caption: Rosalind Hartlepool, children’s writer. I managed to sign my name with a flourish, though my hand was trembling. I was a proper published author – so maybe I was rich and famous too!

  In confirmation, Naomi consulted her watch and then patted my shoulder.

  ‘Your book-signing is advertised for half past three, so we’re cutting it a bit fine – but there should just about be enough time for us to go and see the pets before we set off.’

  I was so dazzled by the word book-signing that I could barely concentrate on where I was going. Then we entered the amazing Pet Kingdom – and it was just like an animal fairyland. There were rooms full of dinky designer clothes for cats and dogs and an entire pet toy department full of fluffy mini-mice and chewy chickens and little balls and sticks and bendy bones.

  We looked through a glass wall and saw a special spa room for pets. We watched the most glorious little Yorkshire terrier enjoying a wonderfully pampering massage. A loving assistant styled his creamy white coat until it reached honey-blonde silky perfection. He gave a tiny woof of delight and nibbled daintily at a doggy treat.

  ‘Oh, I want that little dog!’ said Smash, as the assistant carefully tied a bow tie studded with diamonds round his tiny neck.

  ‘You can’t possibly have Duffy!’ said the manager of the pet department. ‘He’s actually Sir Duffield, our most important client, and he has his own mommy and daddy who love him very dearly. But we do have a whole roomful of very precious VIPs – Very Important Pets – who are all for sale. Allow me to show you.’

  We gasped at all the animals: gambolling puppies, delicate kittens, floppy-eared rabbits, squeaking guinea pigs, little white mice with pink twitchy noses, a fluffy chinchilla as soft as thistledown, a pair of lovebirds coyly twittering at each other, and a red and green parrot preening itself, murmuring ‘Pretty boy, pretty boy!’

  ‘Where monkeys?’ said Maudie, looking for another Psammead – but she seemed happy enough with a chinchilla substitute. She wanted to carry him about in her arms, but we persuaded her he’d be safer travelling in his cage. Maudie hugged her blue stuffed rabbit as a substitute.

  Smash stalked about excitedly in her high heels, wanting everything, but she eventually chose the parrot.

  ‘I shall teach it to say all sorts!’ she said. ‘Pretty Smash, pretty Smash – say “Pretty Smash”!’ she repeated.

  The parrot looked at her shrewdly with its little beady eye, and opted for a quiet life.

  ‘Pretty Smash, pretty Smash,’ he chirped.

  Smash squealed with delight. He imitated her squeal at top volume, so we all had to put our hands over our ears.

  Robbie wondered if there were any pet lions or tigers, but was happy enough in the dog section. He fell in love with an adorable black Labrador puppy with huge brown eyes. An assistant opened up its cage so that Robbie could coax the puppy out and hold him gently in his arms. The puppy looked up at him and licked his nose lovingly.

  ‘Oh, he’s so wonderful!’ Robbie whispered, tears in his eyes.

  Robbie had been begging for his own dog for years, but Mum said she couldn’t cope with a pet in our tiny flat.

  I wondered about choosing a dog too, but then I saw a very little cream Siamese kitten with mushroom-coloured ears and paws, and I knew I simply had to have her.

  ‘She’s so gorgeous! I just love her to bits,’ I said. ‘I think I shall call her Tin