Four Children and It Read online

  All four Edwardian children looked puzzled.

  ‘You’ve never heard of McDonald’s?’ Smash said incredulously. ‘Don’t you have fast-food places?’

  ‘What’s fast food?’ said Cyril.

  ‘Meat in buns, and doughnuts, and pizzas, and fried chicken and chips. They’re all yummy,’ said Smash. ‘Look, come back with us and try some.’

  ‘Oh, yes please!’ said Jane. ‘Let’s go and ask the Psammead right this minute.’

  ‘But – but as we’re in the past, I wonder, shouldn’t we take a look around? Maybe go into the nearest town and see all the differences? Imagine what great marks we’d get for a history project,’ I said.

  They all looked at me as if I was mad – except Anthea.

  ‘You are such a sad swotty little nerd,’ said Smash.

  I blushed, feeling foolish.

  ‘No, you’re not, whatever that means,’ said Anthea. ‘I like to get good marks too. I love history – and English, but I’m pretty useless at algebra, and hopeless at Latin too.’

  ‘Goodness! Well, you must be much brainier than me, because we don’t even study algebra and Latin at my school,’ I said.

  ‘I don’t even have a school at the moment,’ said Smash. ‘They keep expelling me. It’s totally cool.’

  ‘Aren’t your mother and father in a terrible bate about it?’ said Cyril.

  ‘You bet,’ said Smash cheerfully.

  ‘Don’t you mind upsetting them?’ said Robert.

  ‘Look, they don’t mind upsetting me. They just want to get rid of me. I hardly ever see my own mother and my dad’s away heaps,’ said Smash. ‘You have no idea what it’s like being a modern child. You don’t know how lucky you are.’

  ‘Well, our father is away a lot on business and Mother is often ill and has to go abroad, but we’ve managed not to get expelled,’ said Cyril. ‘Perhaps you should do lessons at home like a little kid.’

  ‘I’m not little,’ said Smash, giving him a shove on his shoulder.

  He happened to be washing his cake down with a cup of tea at that precise moment.

  ‘Ouch! I’ve practically scalded myself! Stop that!’

  ‘Well, you stop insulting me,’ said Smash, and gave him another push.

  ‘Look here, if you were a boy I’d fight you for that,’ said Cyril.

  ‘Go on then! I’d like to see you try,’ said Smash.

  ‘I can’t fight girls,’ said Cyril.

  ‘Why not?’ Smash demanded.

  ‘Well, it wouldn’t be gentlemanly,’ said Cyril.

  Smash laughed unpleasantly. ‘You are so pathetic. Girls can fight. See!’ she said, and she thumped him hard in the chest.

  ‘Right, that’s it! You need teaching a lesson, girl or not!’ said Cyril.

  ‘Oh, please don’t, Cyril, she’s just being aggravating on purpose,’ said Anthea. ‘And watch the tea things, for goodness’ sake!’

  Cyril stood up and raised his fists.

  ‘Stand up and fight like a man then,’ he said to Smash.

  ‘No! Don’t, Smash. Oh please don’t be so silly,’ I said, but of course she didn’t listen.

  She punched Cyril and he punched her, not really fiercely, but it was enough to make her stagger. She punched him back and then suddenly they were rolling around on the floor, wrestling with each other.

  ‘Oh, I say, stop it, Cyril. She’s our guest!’ said Anthea.

  ‘Stow it, Squirrel,’ said Robert.

  ‘Oh dear, she’s getting hurt. I can’t bear it,’ said Jane, and she threw herself at her brother to try to stop him. She got thumped herself and screamed.

  ‘Oh, Jane, I’m so sorry!’ said Cyril, sitting up and giving her a hug.

  ‘Come on, you can’t stop fighting. Nobody’s won yet,’ said Smash.

  ‘Poor Jane!’ said Anthea, rushing to her. ‘Don’t cry, darling.’

  ‘Look, never mind Jane, I got hit heaps of times and I’m not crying,’ said Smash.

  ‘No – well, good for you,’ said Cyril. He helped Jane to her feet. ‘So sorry, Jane, though it really was your own fault, you know.’

  ‘So, have I won the fight?’ said Smash.

  It had been clear to all of us watching that Cyril was winning. I’m sure it was clear to Cyril too, but after hesitating a second he held out his hand. ‘Yes, well done, Smash, you’ve won the fight.’

  ‘Hooray!’ said Smash, shaking his hand and then strutting round the room. ‘I told you girls can fight. I’m an absolutely champion fighter.’

  The rest of us sighed.

  ‘What?’ said Smash. ‘Come on then, you lot. Let’s go to see the Psammead and whizz back to our time. I want to show you all sorts of stuff. Wait till you see my Xbox, Cyril, and my computer and the television. We can watch Sky Sport. Which football team do you support?’ She chatted away to Cyril nineteen to the dozen all the way to the sandpit, clearly trying desperately to impress him, even though she’d been about to punch his face in five minutes ago.

  ‘If you don’t mind my saying, your sister’s very strange,’ Robert said to Robbie.

  Robbie screwed his finger against his forehead. ‘She is seriously loopy, I agree. But she’s not my real sister, thank goodness. That’s Rosalind. She’s a totally ace sister.’

  I was so touched I nearly hugged him, but didn’t want to embarrass him in front of the others. I always worried that I was a very irritating boring older sister, always fussing about things and trying to keep us out of trouble.

  ‘Psammead? Are you there, Psammead dear?’ said Jane, down on her knees in the sand.

  ‘Will it be our Psammead or theirs?’ said Robert.

  ‘I think it will be the same Psammead. I think there’s only one of it, and it can pop up any time it likes, a bit like Doctor Who,’ I said.

  ‘Oh yes, wait till you see our television – you’ll absolutely love Doctor Who, Cyril, especially the stone angels. They are seriously creepy,’ said Smash.

  ‘I don’t like them one bit,’ said Robbie. ‘We don’t watch when they’re on, do we, Rosalind?’

  ‘Oh, I might have known!’ said Smash. ‘You two are such sad little wimpy babies. Hey, Psammead, where are you? You haven’t got stuck in a time warp, have you?’

  ‘Don’t!’ I said. But then I thought about it. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad being stuck in the past. I seemed to fit in here. Nobody minded if I liked reading or playing pretend games. I could even play dolls without anyone laughing.

  ‘There you are, dear Psammead!’ said Anthea, uncovering his cross little creased face. It seemed to have just as many lines, even though he was more than a hundred years younger here. ‘We are so sorry to disturb you, but could we possibly see what it’s like in the future, with our new friends? We’d like it most awfully.’

  ‘Though it’s lovely being here too,’ I said dreamily. ‘In fact I wish I could live here forever.’

  ‘Oh, Rosalind, be careful!’ Anthea cried.

  I saw the Psammead wriggle right out of the sandpit, its bat ears flapping. It looked directly at me with its eyes on stalks and then started puffing up. I couldn’t believe I’d been so foolish – especially after Smash had made the same stupid mistake.

  ‘No! No, I didn’t really mean it! It wasn’t a proper wish!’ I said, but the Psammead took no notice.

  It puffed up even further. Then suddenly I saw a dark tunnel and the others were all sucked into it, whirling round, spinning head over heels. I screamed, flailing around, trying to catch hold of Robbie and Maudie, but I could no longer see them in the terrifying darkness. Then the light came back and I found myself on my knees in the sandpit – but I was totally alone.

  ‘Robbie? Maudie? Smash?’ I shouted.

  No one answered.

  ‘Anthea? Jane, Cyril, Robert? Oh please, someone hear me!’ I shouted again.

  The sandpit stretched out in every direction at the bottom of the gravel pit. I had no idea where the Psammead was. I scrabbled in the sand, hurting my