Four Children and It Read online

  ‘You what?’ said Smash.

  ‘I know it sounds a weird wish. I found it in a book of fairy stories,’ I said.

  ‘Oh, typical,’ said Smash. ‘How is that going to work if it’s part of a flipping fairy story?’

  ‘Would you mind holding your tongue, Miss Shouty Person,’ said the Psammead. ‘I think fairy stories are eminently suitable, as I am indeed a sand-fairy. I think it’s an admirable wish, Rosalind.’

  ‘But what is our heart’s desire?’ said Smash.

  ‘I thought the Psammead could maybe work it out itself, as it’s so magic and all-powerful,’ I said.

  ‘Exactly,’ said the Psammead, preening.

  Then it hopped nimbly right up to me and put its strange monkey fingers on my temples. Its ancient eyes focused on me, staring directly into mine. I felt as if it was looking right inside my head and learning what was there. Then it backed away and did the same to Robbie. The Psammead moved on to Smash reluctantly. She giggled and fidgeted as it took hold of her.

  ‘Be still!’ it commanded, and she sat suddenly rigid, biting her lip.

  I wondered for an awful moment if the Psammead was cursing her, turning her into a statue to teach her a terrible lesson, but when it backed away from her she blinked and rubbed her eyes. The Psammead hopped over to Maudie, inspecting her carefully first to make sure she wasn’t too damp or sticky. It put its wrinkled face close to hers and gently laid its paws on her forehead. Maudie wasn’t the slightest bit overawed, like us. She pursed her lips and gave it a big kiss, hugging it enthusiastically.

  ‘Lovely Monkey!’ she said.

  The Psammead wriggled and squirmed.

  ‘You’re quite a lovely small child,’ it muttered, and then it backed away from her, wiping its paws.

  It stood contemplating us for a few seconds, its little eyes very dark and beady on the end of their strange stalks. Then it started puffing itself up.

  We watched as it got fatter and fatter and fatter, larger than we’d ever seen it before. Its eyes twitched, its ears pulled taut, its paws extended at full stretch. It stood there, swaying with effort, a pulsating puffball. Then it suddenly collapsed down into a small shrunken creature, still quivering with effort. It crawled to the centre of the sandpit and started digging. It paused, halfway into the sand.

  ‘Goodbye,’ it said, in a tremulous voice.

  ‘Goodbye, dear Psammead,’ I said. ‘And thank you so, so much.’

  ‘We will see you again, won’t we?’ Robbie asked anxiously. ‘After you’ve hibernated yourself back to full health?’

  The Psammead mumbled something, but it was scrabbling so hard we couldn’t quite hear what it said. It gave one last scrabble and disappeared entirely.

  ‘Was that a yes?’ said Smash.

  ‘It might have been,’ I said.

  ‘I do hope it was a yes,’ said Robbie.

  ‘Monkey gone!’ said Maudie, holding out her arms as if she were trying to snatch him back.

  We all looked at the empty sand. Then we looked at each other. We waited. And nothing at all happened.

  ‘Well?’ said Smash. ‘Is that it?’

  ‘I – I suppose so,’ I said.

  ‘But where’s the magic?’ said Robbie.

  ‘Where Monkey?’ said Maudie.

  ‘Monkey’s gone now, darling. Look, all gone,’ said Smash, patting the sand. ‘And it looks like all the magic has gone with him!’

  ‘But we saw him puff up like crazy,’ said Robbie. ‘He really was wishing for us.’

  ‘Wishing what?’ said Smash.

  ‘Whatever our heart’s desire is,’ I said.

  ‘Well, it hasn’t worked, has it, because you all know I want to be rich and famous, and so that’s my heart’s desire. Yet there’s no sign of that bodyguard and the limo and all those crowds of fans,’ said Smash. She took a deep breath and sang, ‘I’m just an angry girl.’ Her voice sounded thin and reedy.

  ‘No sign of any voice either,’ said Robbie unkindly.

  ‘What about you, Tree Boy? Go on, have a go at climbing. That’s your heart’s desire, isn’t it?’

  ‘I’m not sure now,’ said Robbie, but he stood up and went to the nearest tree. He stared up at its length and spat on his hands.

  ‘Careful, Robbie!’ I said.

  He leapt for the first branch – and missed.

  ‘Whoops,’ said Smash. ‘And what about you, Rosalind?’ She scrabbled in my jacket pocket for my book. ‘Is this your own first novel?’

  I couldn’t help looking at it with mad hopefulness – but it was my crumpled dog-eared copy of Five Children and It. I flicked open the pages and found a drawing of Anthea, Jane, Cyril, Robert and the Lamb. I stroked Anthea’s hair as if I were brushing it.

  ‘Maybe the Psammead thinks my heart’s desire is to meet Anthea again?’ I said. ‘Perhaps she’ll come back to our time?’

  We all looked around but there was no sign of any of the book children.

  ‘They’ve all gone away,’ Maudie sang softly.

  ‘Oh no, please don’t have wished those nursery-rhyme nutters back! That would really do my head in,’ said Smash.

  We looked around us again, but couldn’t see any of them, not a cat or a sneezing child or a black-and-white girl clutching a kettle.

  ‘What a waste of a wish,’ said Smash.

  ‘Monkey, Monkey,’ said Maudie.

  ‘Maybe that’s it!’ I said. ‘Maybe that’s what we all desired? To see the Psammead again!’

  ‘I bet that’s right,’ said Robbie. ‘Oh, clever Ros! So next time we come and stay with Dad and Alice we can see it all over again and have lots more wishes.’

  ‘Well, we could have done with one more right this minute,’ said Smash. ‘What are we going to do now?’

  ‘Play Monkey!’ said Maudie.

  So we invented as many monkey games as we could think of. We played Catch the Monkey, which was just an ordinary chasing game, with all of us taking turns to catch Maudie the Monkey, and tickle her each time. Then we played Monkey Goes Round the Sandpit, which is self-explanatory and made us all very hot and dizzy. Then we played pretending to be a monkey. We scratched ourselves and jumped about making ooh-ooh-ooh monkey noises. Then we sat down exhausted and played I Went Along the Road and Saw a Monkey.

  ‘I went along the road and saw a monkey and a little kitten,’ I said, and pointed at Robbie to go next.

  ‘I went along the road and saw a monkey and a little kitten and a big roaring lion,’ said Robbie, pointing to Smash.

  ‘I went along the road and saw a monkey and a little kitten and a big roaring lion and a rock star playing a guitar,’ said Smash. She pointed at Maudie. We all had to help her, chanting it along with her.

  ‘I went along the road and saw a monkey and a little kitten and a big roaring lion and a rock star playing a guitar – and an ice cream!’ said Maudie.

  We carried on and on and on until the list was ridiculously long and Maudie and Robbie had long ago dropped out, but Smash and I wouldn’t give up, gabbling great long lists of nonsense until we dissolved into giggles.

  ‘I won!’ said Smash.

  ‘Rubbish, I won!’ I said.

  So we started another game of I Went Along the Road and Saw a Monkey, laughing helplessly. Smash invented a rude version of the game which made us laugh even more.

  ‘This is weird,’ said Smash breathlessly. ‘We’re having almost as much fun as if we’d had a proper wish.’

  ‘Maybe that’s the wish then? Our heart’s desire is for us all to play together and have fun,’ I said, trying not to be too disappointed. ‘That’s the way it would work out at the end of a Victorian storybook. The children would all be taught a moral lesson and learn to like each other and make their own amusements.’

  ‘Those Victorian storybooks sound horribly preachy and dull,’ said Smash. ‘And if that’s the case it’s a bit of a waste of a wish, because we do that anyway. Play and like each other and have fun.’

&nbs