Pursued Read online

  “Elise…” Merrick’s face was stiff, immobile—but she could hear the hurt in his deep voice. Somehow she forced herself to ignore it.

  “Thanks, but I’m fine,” she said, nodding stiffly. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to step outside for a minute.” Keeping her chin high and her back straight, she walked out of the exam room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

  The med station around her was a hive of activity with nurses and doctors buzzing quietly but briskly about their tasks. There were several other exam rooms arranged in a circle around the central area which was filled with counters and equipment but the doors were shut, indicating that they were occupied.

  Elise looked around desperately. She just needed to find a quiet spot to herself for a moment. A spot to break down and cry—to mourn the impending loss she felt to the bottom of her soul. And yes, now she believed she had one because it ached—ached so deeply she thought she might die of the pain.

  Finally she spied an empty room—a supply closet filled with fresh sheets, gowns, and cleaning supplies—and slipped into it as quietly and unobtrusively as she could. Then the strength she’d forced herself to feel suddenly gave out and she sank to the floor with her head in her hands.

  “Merrick…” she whispered. “Oh, Merrick, I’m so sorry…”

  * * * * *

  “Merrick, listen to me—you have to dissolve this bond! It’s not healthy for Elise and it’s Goddess-damned dangerous for you as well.”

  “I don’t care,” Merrick said stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ve never felt this way for a female before, Sylvan. I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose her.”

  “And what if you die of soul sickness from an improperly attached bond?” Sylvan asked harshly. “What do you think will happen to Elise then? Without your touch, she’ll sicken and die too, Merrick. She’s dependent on you—too dependent. A Kindred male and his mate can survive the death of the other—they may not want to live, but they can physically continue. The way you and Elise are linked, your death would mean hers too. It’s not right or fair to tie her to you in such a permanent, terminal way.”

  Merrick let out a deep breath as reality set in. “I…I guess you’re right. I wasn’t thinking of it like that.”

  “I know how you were thinking, old friend.” Sylvan’s voice was filled with compassion. “I feel the same thing for Sophia. I love her so much I’d rather die than be without her. But if I knew being with her might hurt her—if I knew my death would cause hers as well…”

  “You’d leave her, even if it hurt,” Merrick finished for him glumly. “Yeah, I get it.”

  “It’s not good for either of you, this artificial bond,” Sylvan said. “It will only make you sick and Elise completely physically dependent on you. She’s a strong, independent female, Merrick. Do you think that’s how she wants to live?”

  “No. No, of course not.” Merrick sighed and ran a hand over his skull-cut hair. “I know what you’re saying makes sense—to my head anyway. My heart…well, it’s another story.”

  “I know,” Sylvan said gently. “And I’m so very sorry. But listen, Merrick, there’s no saying that once you dissolve the artificial bond you can’t form a new one—a natural one—with her.”

  Merrick laughed harshly. “Yeah, right. You know that won’t happen. I’m a hybrid—remember? We can’t form bonds with females. That’s why this…this thing I have with Elise—it seemed like, I don’t know, a fucking miracle. Like something I thought I’d never feel.”

  Sylvan squeezed his shoulder. “I know,” he said gently. “I know, Merrick.”

  Merrick sighed. “Well, I guess we have no choice—we’ll have to go to Rageron. It’ll be fucking dangerous though—I don’t suppose I could do it alone?”

  Sylvan shook his head. “Elise would never survive that long without you.”

  “Then I guess she’ll have to come with me.” Merrick shook his head. “I just hope I can keep her safe.”

  “If anyone can survive the deep jungle of Rageron and protect his female in the process, you can, old friend.” Sylvan spoke with certainty. “I’m sorry to send you on such a complicated and dangerous journey but the skrillix plant must be plucked by the one who needs it. It's the only way to dissolve the bond and Rageron is the only place it grows.”

  “I know.” Merrick nodded briefly. “Just tell me how to keep Elise healthy in the mean time. Do I just keep touching her? Because I gotta tell you, it doesn’t seem like she wants to be touched now…now that she knows.” He thought of the way she’d shaken off his helping hand and the cool way she’d spoken to him before she left. The memory was like a fist in his gut.

  “Whether she wants it or not, she needs it,” Sylvan emphasized. “And the longer you two are improperly bonded, the more physical contact she’ll require.”

  Merrick shifted uncomfortably. “What are we talking about here, Sylvan? Is this going to get sexual? Because I don’t think Elise is ready for that—I don’t know if she’ll ever be ready, to be honest.”

  “Let’s just say that simply holding hands with her won’t be enough to keep her from getting ill. And…yes, it may get sexual,” Sylvan said reluctantly. “As the hunger progresses, her needs will become more and more pressing and it will take more and deeper contact to satisfy them.”

  “I’m not going to force her into anything she doesn’t want,” Merrick growled. “I won’t fucking go there with her, no matter what.”

  “I’m not asking you to.” Sylvan held up his hands. “I’m just telling you what her needs are likely to be. As to how to satisfy them, well, you’ll have to use your best judgment, my friend.”

  “My best judgment. Right.” Merrick could feel the beginnings of a headache starting right behind his eyes. “All I have to do is figure out how to touch a female who doesn’t want to be touched without hurting or scaring her.”

  Sylvan looked at him compassionately. “You’ll find a way—I know you will. These things have a way of working themselves out.”

  “Easy for you to say,” Merrick muttered. “You have a mate already—you don’t have to worry about this kind of shit.”

  “Actually, I did have sort of the same kind of situation with Sophia before we became bonded,” Sylvan said seriously. “We were in a tight spot, hiding from the AllFather down on Earth. I needed to cover her scent with my own to avoid detection but…well, certain events in her past made her fear me. To fear any male, really.”

  Merrick nodded. “I suspect something in Elise’s past as well. I’m not sure what but something isn’t right.”

  Sylvan sighed. “Then you’re in a delicate situation, my friend. You don’t want to force unwanted physical contact on her but at the same time, you can’t let her starve herself—which she literally will if she doesn’t have enough skin-to-skin time with you.”

  “Gods.” Merrick pinched the bridge of his nose as his headache got worse. “This is great. Just fucking great.”

  “Just do your best,” Sylvan said gently. “The Goddess is close to her children. She will give you the wisdom to help and protect Elise without hurting or frightening her.”

  “The Goddess?” Merrick laughed bitterly. “She doesn’t give a fuck about me—if she even knows I exist at all.”

  “She knows, old friend,” Sylvan said quietly. “She mentioned you when she spoke through Nadiah who is her new mouthpiece on First World. She was very angry at the old high priestess for misusing her power and cursing you.”

  “Yes, a curse—that’s what this is,” Merrick growled. “That’s exactly what this fucking fake bond is. And somehow I have to break it.” He sighed. “Even if it kills me to do it.”

  Chapter Seven

  “Oh, hon, are you all right?”

  Elise turned to see Olivia standing there, a worried look on her face.

  “I…I’m fine,” she said quickly, pulling a fresh pillow case from the stack of linen surrounding her and blotting her eyes. “Fin