Pursued Read online

  “That’s perfectly all right.” Shuura smiled. “She believes in you, my dear. And I firmly believe she has her hand in this present situation. You’ll see.”

  “I’m sure I will,” Elise said, trying to smile. “I really would like a shower,” she added, hoping to end the awkward conversation.

  “Of course. Forgive me.” Shuura nodded and, to her great relief, dropped the subject.

  He showed Elise to a bathroom almost as big as the living area with a miniature waterfall running down one wall. He explained that the water came from the river outside and flowed back into it as well, so nothing but natural plant extracts could be used as soap and shampoo. These could be found in thin stone and glass vessels that looked like minor works of art to Elise. Comparing them with her own plastic shampoo bottles at home, she thought that the Rageron way was better.

  With a few twists of some complicated looking levers, the waterfall was heated before it reached the bathroom and then sprayed outward so she didn’t have to hug the wall to get wet. After showing her some large, flat, absorbent leaves, which appeared to be the Rageron version of towels, Shuura left.

  Elise took her time in the shower, enjoying the warm spray over her back, and experimenting with the various plant extracts for cleaning her hair and body. They lathered up beautifully and smelled like an exotic garden in full bloom. Like having the rainforest in a bottle, she thought.

  At last she had to admit she was procrastinating—putting off the moment when she would have to dress and go find Merrick. The hunger was like a dull pain in her gut and although she refused to use him simply to satiate her need, she couldn’t help hoping that he would make the first move. She wouldn’t ask for help but if he offered it, she knew she wouldn’t refuse it—she simply wasn’t strong enough.

  Finally she couldn’t put it off any longer. Drying off, she pulled on a guest robe Shuura had thoughtfully left her. It was made of some puffy plant fiber which made her feel like she was wearing a coat made of very soft dandelion down. There were slippers to match but they were much too large for her feet. In the end Elise decided to just go barefoot. The grass and flowers carpet was so soft under her bare feet it was like walking on a cloud.

  She had opened several doors searching for Merrick without success when Shuura came up noiselessly behind her.

  “If you’re looking for Merrick, I put him in the guest sleeping area. It’s just in here,” he said, motioning to a door farther down the hall. “Come.” He opened the door and ushered her inside.

  As she stepped into the room, Elise saw that Merrick was lying on his side on a low bed, only about six inches from the ground. Beside him, on the floor, was a bottle half-filled with some milky white liquid which filled the room with a faintly sweet scent.

  “Thanks for showing me,” Elise murmured, trying to keep her voice low.

  Shuura laughed. “If you’re whispering so you don’t wake him up, don’t bother. Anybody who’s had that much fireflower juice is going to be out of commission for a good long while.”

  “Really?” Elise looked at Merrick uncertainly. “You mean he’s drunk?”

  “Not drunk so much as deeply asleep,” Shuura said. “But don’t worry—one good thing about fireflower juice is that it doesn’t result in a hangover the next day. So Merrick should be in fine condition to start your trek into the Deep Blue.”

  Actually, Elise hadn’t been thinking about the next day so much as her hope that Merrick would make the first move and touch her. Now it looked like that hope was dashed. She would just have to accept that it was going to be a very hungry night.

  “Thanks,” she said to Shuura again. “Well, I guess I’d better get to sleep.”

  “I guess you should. Good night, my dear.” He nodded in a courtly way and then left, shutting the door behind him.

  Elise sighed as she climbed into the low bed. Well, there was nothing to do but go to bed and try to sleep…if the gnawing hunger would let her, that was. It was growing by the hour and she could tell that soon it would turn sexual, as it had before. What was she going to do then? She didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want to consider what new skeletons another sexual encounter with Merrick might bring out of her vault.

  Don’t think about it then. Just sleep. She tried but it was no good—the hunger screamed inside her like a living thing, snarling like a beast that demanded to be fed. If only I could touch him. Even if I just rolled over on my side and spooned him, wrapped my arms around him from behind…no. Elise shook herself, angry at her own weakness. That’s taking without asking. I’m not going to do that. I won’t be that person.

  Feeling tired and depressed, she curled up on her other side with her back to Merrick and closed her eyes, waiting for exhaustion to claim her. But though she felt physically, emotionally, and mentally worn out, sleep was a long, long time in coming.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Merrick woke to the cool blue light pouring through the window slits high on the far wall and thought, “Home.” Or as close to home as he ever came, anyway. He felt momentarily disoriented. What was he doing back on Rageron, anyway? Then he heard a slight stirring behind him and felt a sharp pang of hunger through the artificial bond. Oh right—Elise. The bond. The skrillix.

  Artificial or not, the pain she was feeling came through the bond loud and clear and Merrick’s first impulse was to roll over and take her in his arms. He started to do just that…and stopped, remembering the night before.

  Despite the fireflower juice, he’d still been awake when she and Shuura came into the room. When Shuura had said he must be asleep, he’d almost spoken up, but then something occurred to him. He knew that Elise was dead set against touching him while he was awake and alert—as long as the touching might lead to something else. But maybe if she thought he was asleep, she would reach out to him.

  It was a stupid hope, and he felt angry at himself for being weak enough to have it. But he couldn’t help it. Though he wasn’t afflicted with the hunger that tormented Elise, he still craved her touch, every bit as much as she craved his.

  So he lay in the darkness, unmoving, waiting to feel her soft little hand on his skin, hoping against hope that she would come to him if she thought he was asleep…if she didn’t think he was a threat to whatever secret she was keeping from both him and herself. He waited for hours, feeling Elise’s hunger intensify until it was an actual physical pain. But despite the way it had to be ripping her apart, she wouldn’t come to him—wouldn’t even put a hand on his arm. It was as though the few inches between them on the bed was a chasm she couldn’t or wouldn’t cross.

  Finally, he’d drifted off to sleep, still untouched. And he’d woken up the same way.

  So stupid, Merrick told himself angrily as he blinked in the early morning light. I’m such an idiot, loving a female who doesn’t love me back. Wanting one who’s already spoken for. But the connection between them that one night Elise had let down her guard had been so intense…so right…

  Forget it. Forget her. It’s what she’s trying to do with you, isn’t it?

  He knew it was true and yet the urge to turn over and hold her was still so strong he had to clench his hands into fists and tense his spine to keep himself in place, to keep himself away…

  “Good morning.” Elise’s light, feminine voice cut through the tangled net of desire, anger and longing. “Are, uh, are you up?” She touched him very lightly on the arm and then withdrew at once, as though his skin was red hot and might burn her.

  Merrick sighed and did his best to stow the disturbing emotions away. They were going into the Deep Blue today. He needed to be on point—not distracted by his own stupid lovesick feelings.

  “Yeah, I’m up.” He sat up and swung his legs out of bed, keeping his back to her. “I, uh, didn’t hear you come in last night. Did you sleep well?” The lie felt wrong in his mouth but he wasn’t about to admit he’d lain awake half the night waiting for her to touch him.

  “Like a log,” s