Pursued Read online

  But there was something else growing as well. Along with the hunger in her he also felt…desire. Even outright lust. Which complicated things a hell of a lot. He remembered what Sylvan had said—that as time went on Elise would need deeper and more intense touching and that things might have to turn sexual between them. The thought made his cock hard and the mating fist at its base swell with desire…until he remembered the stark fear in her eyes the night he’d come into the room and frightened her half to death. Her body might be in heat but her mind most certainly was not and that led to a whole new set of problems—problems he couldn’t ignore if he wanted to keep her alive.

  He didn’t want to hurt her, didn’t want to frighten her or scar her anymore than she’d already been scarred. But he didn’t want to watch her die, either. And the hollows around her lovely brown eyes told him she was headed downhill. Something had to be done and fast—but what?

  At last meal—rehydrated food cubes which they shared, eating across from each other at the tiny fold-out table in the living area—Merrick held an inner debate with himself. He was trying to decide how to work things out, how to give Elise what she needed without making her hate him.

  Obviously what needed to happen was for both of them to get naked in the bed and just touch—skin to skin, flank to flank, chest to chest—probably for the entire night. That might be enough to get her through without turning sexual—although how the hell he could hold her naked in his arms and not show any signs of how much he wanted her was beyond Merrick.

  And of course there was the problem of getting Elise to agree to try this in the first place. He was fairly sure she was still frightened of him—a holdover from her flashback. So he could hardly strip her naked and hold her down. Even if every instinct inside him didn’t rebel against the idea, he still wouldn’t have done it. He didn’t want her to hate him. But what if it was a choice between that and watching her die? What if—

  “You seem to be thinking awfully hard about something over there.” Elise stirred her Grieza worms—a delicacy from Twin Moons—with her fork as she spoke. She’d been reluctant to try them at first but after a single bite, she’d showed a pretty good appetite. There were only a few worms left on her plate but the troubled look in her eyes said she wouldn’t be eating them. “Are you thinking about Rageron?” she asked him. “Do you have family there?”

  “No to the first question and yes to the second.” Merrick sighed. “You want to know the truth, I’m thinking about you.”

  “Me?” Elise’s eyebrows raised and he heard the instant defensiveness in her voice. Great, he was definitely in for a battle. “Why would you be thinking about me?”

  “Because you’re starving to death,” Merrick said bluntly, tired of beating around the bush. Fuck small talk—they needed to get this out in the open.

  She pushed her plate away. “But I’m so full I can’t eat another bite. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “The hell you don’t.” He glared at her. “I can feel it. Here.” He pounded himself on the chest with his fist. “We’re connected by the bond, remember? And I don’t care if it’s fake—it still works the same way. I know what you need and you’re not getting it.” He leaned closer to her, holding her eyes with his. “You’re not getting it because you’re not taking it.”

  “I…we…” Her hand fluttered to her chest. “We hold hands every night—just like you said Sylvan told you to do.”

  “He said to touch you at night to make the days easier, not that we should only hold hands,” Merrick pointed out. “That was my idea, after that one night when you had your nightmare.”

  She lifted her chin but didn’t address the emphasis he’d put on the word. “It seems to be working fine though. I don’t really see the problem.”

  Finally Merrick lost all patience. “The problem is you’re fucking dying!” he roared, pounding the table hard enough to make their dishes rattle. “And I’m not going to let you sit by and commit suicide because you’re too scared to take what you need!”

  “What do you know about what I need?” Elise shouted back, surprising him. “What the hell do you know about anything?”

  Merrick narrowed his eyes. “I know a hell of a lot more than you’d like, sweetheart. I know that the hunger has changed. It’s more intense now…more sexual.”

  Elise’s face went white as a sheet. “You…how would you know that?”

  “I can smell it on you.” Merrick inhaled deeply, illustrating his point. “How hot you are, how much you need to come…” He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Look, there’s no shame in it, baby. Sylvan said this might happen. That you might need—”

  “I don’t need anything like…like that.” Elise’s voice was high and brittle. “I don’t…I’m not like that. Not that kind of girl.”

  “It has nothing to do with what kind of female you are.” Merrick tried to keep the exasperation out of his voice. “It’s about feeding the hunger before it starves you to death.”

  “But I’m fine…fine,” Elise insisted.

  “You’ll take me down with you if you go. You know that, right?” He looked down at his own half finished dinner. “The way the bond is placed, if one of us dies, we both die.”

  “I…oh.” Elise suddenly seemed to shrink in on herself. “I guess…guess I forgot about that. I’m so sorry, Merrick,” she whispered.

  He felt his heart contract. At least she still cared a little. “I figured you might’ve,” he said roughly. “And I’m sorry I shouted at you. I’ve just been…really fucking worried these last few days.”

  Elise bit her lip. “I…I have too,” she admitted at last. “These feelings…they’re frightening because they’re unusual. I don’t normally…I never feel this way.”

  Merrick looked at her in disbelief. “What, you’ve never been horny?”

  She shook her head, a bit primly he thought. “No, of course not. I’m always too busy worrying about work or James or…I don’t know. Anything but that, I guess.”

  Merrick shook his head. “When you told me you and that idiot fiancé of yours didn’t have sex, I could believe that. But are you honestly telling me you never touch yourself either?”

  “James and I are waiting because James respects my wishes,” she said. “And no, I never, er, touch myself. I don’t need to.”

  You might need to tonight, he thought but didn’t say it aloud. It was obvious that the idea of sex—even self-sex—made Elise intensely uncomfortable and defensive. Better to keep things low key and non-threatening if he could.

  “All right,” he said at last. “Leaving all that out of it, the fact is I need to touch you.”

  “I know,” she said in a small voice. And the sudden fear blooming behind her eyes was enough to make his heart twist.

  “That’s going to be a problem, isn’t it?” he asked, his throat tight. “Like it was the other night? The night you got so upset?” He wasn’t going to mention her “nightmare” again if he could help it.

  She nodded, a quick, terse jerk of her head. “It might be.”

  Merrick frowned. “Then how can we do this? How can I touch you without freaking you out again? How can—” He snapped his fingers as an idea came to him. “I’ve got it!” He looked at her plate where she was still toying with the last few worms. “You finished?”

  She nodded. “Yes. Why?”

  “Come with me.” Merrick held out a hand to her and watched as she struggled to take it. It hurt his heart to see the indecision in her eyes—the longing warring with fear. Finally, she slipped her small, cool fingers through his and nodded.

  “All right. Let’s go.”

  * * * * *

  Merrick led her into the bedroom they’d been sharing the entire flight and went to one of the storage cupboards on the wall. “Here.”

  Elise looked down at the slender metal hoops he’d handed to her. Her heart was still trying to pound its way out of her chest as she wondered what he had in mind. “What a