Pursued Read online

  And yet somehow, despite everything she’d been taught, Lissa couldn’t stop herself from melting against him. It was the first time she’d been hugged since her family had died and Saber’s touch fed a deep need inside, a hunger she hadn’t even known existed. She buried her face in his broad chest and breathed him in, a rich, wild, masculine spice that made her head spin. At the same time she felt him press his face to her hair and inhale, breathing her in as well. His arms around her felt so strong…so right. But how could it be right when she knew to the core of her being what they were doing was wrong? Reluctantly, she moved to get away from him.

  Saber released her at once. “Forgive me,” he murmured, looking ashamed. “I know I shouldn’t have done that, that it’s wrong. But somehow it doesn’t feel wrong.”

  “It doesn’t feel wrong to me either,” Lissa admitted in a low voice. “Maybe because we weren’t doing anything…” Sexual. But she couldn’t get the word out and her face was so hot it felt like it was on fire. Saber seemed to understand her, though.

  “Maybe,” he said, nodding. Sighing, he took a step away from her. “I suppose I should go to my own room now. If Mame’ comes back from the market early…”

  Lissa shivered. She knew exactly what would happen if her adopted mother caught them in such an illicit embrace. And yet, she was still reluctant to part with Saber. Still sad to see him go.

  “We’ll talk more later,” he promised, obviously seeing the sadness in her eyes. “And things will be better from now on—especially at school. I promise.”

  “Maybe,” Lissa said doubtfully. “But Chainee and Yancee—”

  Saber’s hazel eyes flashed. “You’re mine now—I claim you as my amalla. Anyone who bothers you will answer to me.” Reaching out, he stroked a lock of her long hair out of her eyes. “Promise me something—promise that you’ll never cut it, no matter what.”

  “I…” Lissa swallowed hard, her heart pounding strangely against her ribs. “I promise…Moch Daer.”

  “Good.” He smiled, clearly pleased by her use of the tender nickname. “Because it’s beautiful, my sweet amalla. So never cut it. Never cut it. Never…”

  * * * * *

  “Never cut it,” Lissa mumbled to herself through dry, parched lips. But wasn’t that exactly what she’d come out here to do? A pilgrimage…a sacrifice…an offering to the Goddess, begging for forgiveness of her many sins.

  She felt so tired, so hopeless. The last of her strength was almost depleted. The sheltering layer of sand she’d kept aloft to shield her from the sun had finally collapsed, leaving her exposed to its merciless rays. And still she staggered on, thinking only of Saber.

  Even then I wanted to touch him, she thought as the rainbow desert swam into view around her. Even at that young age, the evil desire had already rooted itself in my heart. And now it has grown as long as my hair—I must cut it off!

  This last thought didn’t quite seem to make sense, and yet at the same time, it was the most perfectly sensible thing Lissa had ever heard. She still had the knife in one hand—she just needed to use it on the mass of jade-streaked blonde that flowed down her bare back.

  But I was going to wait until I got to the oasis. Where is it?

  Lifting her head, she was amazed to see it just in front of her, a few yards away. It wasn’t much—just a single zaben bush that grew beside a tiny pool, bubbling up from some deep well underground. But to Lissa it looked like paradise.

  She stumbled forward, one hand outstretched as though she could bring the water to her just by reaching for it. Somehow, even in her daze, the Goddess had led her to this spot, had helped her find water just when she was about to die of thirst.

  “Thank you Goddess!” she moaned, and then fell to her knees, just inches from the pool. Her whole body cried out for a drink of the cool, life-giving water that bubbled up before her, but Lissa had other business to tend to first. She had promised the Goddess a sacrifice and so she must give it, before attending to her own needs.

  Taking a deep breath, she grasped a thick hank of her hair and put the knife blade to it. But before she could begin sawing at the blonde and jade strands, a deep voice from behind interrupted her.

  “You promised never to cut it.”

  Certain she must be hallucinating again, Lissa turned slowly to see the speaker.

  “Saber?” she whispered through dry lips. It couldn’t be him—could it? But there was no mistaking his handsome face. And no denying that the three years they had spent apart had changed him. There were faint lines around his mouth and the corners of his eyes that hadn’t been there before. And his eyes…his hazel eyes looked so much older. So much sadder.

  “Lissa,” he murmured, frowning. “What are you doing here…like this?”

  Suddenly Lissa realized she was still completely nude. Never had she allowed him to see her bare body before but here she was, completely exposed. She wanted to cover herself but she felt so weak, so tired and dizzy. If only she could drink but she had to cut her hair first. Only Saber didn’t want her to cut her hair—it was all very confusing.

  “Pilgrimage,” she muttered at last. “Quest for…forgiveness. Redemption.”

  Saber frowned. “Forgiveness for what, amalla?”

  “You know.” Lissa shook her head but the gesture made her even more dizzy. “You know…Moch Daer.”

  She wanted to ask him what he was doing here, how he had found her. Why was he on First World at all? But his image wavered and the world spun around her. Just another hallucination…another illusion, she thought. He isn’t real, and now I truly am going to die, just as I deserve.

  The rainbow desert spun around her like a multicolored cloud and then she knew no more.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  The Ancient Ones carried Merrick’s limp form through the jungle and up into one of their houses, which were situated in the thick branches of one of the redwood-like trees. There were three of these trees, grouped in a large clearing which seemed to be the site of some kind of marketplace. Elise heard them called “grandfather trees”—not that anyone talked to her. The Ancient Ones had come while she was still clinging to Merrick’s body and crying her eyes out and lifted him right out from under her, despite her protests. Then they ignored her completely as they carried him away.

  Elise had run after them, trying to keep up. They were all big males—though none as big as Merrick—but even burdened with his body, they moved with surprising speed and grace through the indigo jungle.

  When they came to the clearing she watched in amazement as they climbed up the side of one of the huge grandfather trees, still carrying him. She couldn’t see how in the world they’d done it—there didn’t seem to be any steps or stairs or ladders. The Ancient Ones didn’t seem to need them. They swarmed up the side of the vast trunk like ants, leaving Elise behind on the ground, feeling frantic. They were taking Merrick where she couldn’t follow—what was she going to do?

  “Please,” she called after them. “Please, I need to get up!”

  “You need help, outsider?” a small voice said.

  “Yes. Yes, please!” Elise looked around wildly, searching for the owner of the voice. It belonged to a child—a little boy, she thought—that looked to be no older than six or seven. He had the same brilliant indigo eyes as the rest of the Ancient Ones as well as the same blue-black hair. In his arms was a small animal that looked disturbingly like a live teddy bear. What the hell? Elise wondered wildly. How many animals that look like toys do they have on this damn planet? And what's next—a walking, talking Barbie doll? A real-life Pokemon?

  The boy must have seen her staring at the small animal in his arms because he smiled and stroked its head. "His name is Fa-la and he's a zichther. Don't worry, he won't bite. Do you want to pet him?"

  "No. No, thank you." Elise shook her head, trying to clear the strange thoughts. “I have to get up there but I can’t…I don’t see any way up,” she told him, gesturing at the tree.

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