A Very Dirty Christmas Read online

  “Hey, sis,” I say, punctuating the word for extra affect.

  “I told you not to call me that, shithead,” she says, bringing herself up to her hands and knees before flipping over in a huff to sit upright on her ass. I think she's trying to hide her ass from my eyes, which makes me laugh, since the way she's sitting now just gives me a great view of her perky tits. They're barely covered in the white swimsuit, and I can see the darkening of her areolas through the thin fabric. If I'm not careful, I'm going to get a boner standing right here looking at her. I'm fixated on thinking about how to get her back in that hands-and-knees position she was too briefly in.

  “I’m trying to be friendly to my new step-sister,” I say, mock sugar-sweet. “Or does it make you uncomfortable to think about the fact that I’m your new brother when you’re fantasizing about me?”

  “You’re not my new brother,” she says, yanking her sunglasses off her face and shielding her eyes as she looks up at me. Her nostrils flare at the edges, and I’m amused by the fact that she’s so obviously riled up about this.

  “Technically I am, sis,” I say.

  “We’re eighteen, asshole,” she says. “We didn’t grow up together. Our parents aren’t even married yet. You and I are not related. We’re nothing.”

  I look down at her friend, who’s sitting up now and is watching us, her lips turned up at the edges. She's clearly amused. And, I'm thinking as I look at her, certainly no eyesore herself. “She’s just touchy because she got a look at my cock and now she can’t stop thinking about it.”

  “Oh?” her friend asks, glancing at Katherine. Kate's face darkens. “You didn’t tell me this.”

  My new step-sister looks at me, her eyes wide. “Don’t listen to anything he says. Caulter is full of shit.”

  Her friend’s head swivels toward me again, and I glance at her impressive rack, thinking that maybe Katherine's friend is exactly what I need to get Katherine out of my head. “Full of shit?” she asks.

  “I’m full of shit, am I, Katherine?” I ask. “So you've never seen my dick?”

  “Shut the hell up, Caulter,” she says, standing, her face level with mine. My cock stirs as she glares at me, the flash in her eyes a warning. She thinks I’m about to tell her little friend about our night together; the fact that she’s so obviously upset makes me simultaneously irritated and pleased.

  I turn toward Katherine’s friend, who is splayed out casually on the ground, watching us with amusement. “She has, in fact, seen my cock,” I say. “And apparently, she can’t take her mind off it.”

  “Come on, Jo,” Katherine says, huffing. “He’s a moron. Let’s get out of here.”

  “She didn’t tell you about our little bathroom incident, did she?” I asked. “How I walked in on her changing?” Katherine's expression changes when she understands I'm not about to reveal what happened between us that night.

  “No, she didn’t tell me,” her friend says.

  Katherine rolls her eyes. “He has no boundaries,” she says. “He thought it was perfectly appropriate behavior to come in while I was in the bathroom and proceed to take a leak in front of me.”

  Jo snorts. “That's rude, yes. Completely.”

  “I did not take a leak in front of her,” I say, ignoring Katherine. “But if I had to wait for her to stop talking, I’d have pissed myself waiting.”

  Beside me, Katherine makes a sound of frustration. “He’s completely full of shit. Jo, are you ready?”

  “Jo,” I say, offering her my hand. Jo rises to her feet, her full tits bouncing as she stands. I can’t help but look. “It’s so nice to meet you. Any friend of Katherine’s is a friend of mi -”

  “Oh no, I don’t think so,” Katherine says, reaching around me to grab Jo’s arm as Jo laughs. “She’s not a friend of yours in the least. I’m not a friend of yours. You and I are not friends. Don’t even try to hit on her.”

  I put my hand over my heart. "Katherine, your words cut me deep."

  Jo shakes her head. “I don’t know, Kate, you guys definitely seem to fight like brother and sister.” She walks forward, leaving Katherine and I standing at the end of the dock.

  Katherine is facing me, and I lean in close, my mouth near her ear, wrapping my hand around her wrist. “Don’t lie. You can’t stop thinking about my cock. Tell her how much you moaned when I was inside --”

  “You’re a pig,” she whispers. I can see her jaw clench.

  “If I'm a pig, maybe Jo needs a little pork, then, huh?” I whisper. Jo's several feet ahead, too far away to hear.

  "Don't even --" Katherine starts. She wrenches her arm from my hand and before I realize what she's doing, her hand is on my chest, pushing me off balance.

  Into the fucking lake.

  I sputter when I come up for air, the water shockingly cold even though it's summer. Katherine and Jo are laughing as they walk away, and Katherine looks over her shoulder at me, grinning wickedly.

  I wave at her with my middle finger before I pull myself up onto the dock and out of the water.

  If anyone else had done something like that to me, it would be over. But Katherine amuses me. If she wants to play this way, I can't think of a more entertaining way to spend the summer.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Katherine

  “Casual,” my father says. “Casual but...appropriate.” He’s been droning on for the last twenty minutes, giving us a big lecture about tomorrow morning’s breakfast, the summer kick-off to his re-election campaign. I look down at my food again, picking at my salmon even though it’s my favorite. I'm trying to distract myself from the hell on earth I've found myself in, sitting here at the table with my father and Ella and Caulter. Ella nods enthusiastically and beams, while Caulter sits in the chair perpendicular to me, suspiciously quiet. He's not made a single sarcastic comment during the entire meal, and his weirdly pleasant demeanor makes me think my salmon might very well be poisoned.

  Caulter nods at something my father says, as if he's had some kind of personality transplant. Maybe he hit his head when I pushed him into the lake. That wasn't one of my finer moments, but Caulter damn sure doesn't bring out the mature side of me.

  I'm wondering what the hell he has up his sleeve, when I feel something on my calf and nearly jump out of my skin. I catch Caulter's eye and he winks.

  It's his foot.

  I jerk my leg over, glaring at him. Footsies at the table. That's real fucking mature.

  “You know, sir,” Caulter says. In two years at school, I've never once heard Caulter use the word sir. "I was thinking about the re-election campaign, re-evaluating my priorities for the summer.”

  “Caulter…” Ella hisses. Ella isn't stupid enough to be falling for this, I think. She's smart enough to know her son.

  “Ella,” my father says, silencing her by covering her palm with his. “Let him speak. Maybe he’s realized that this is exactly what he needs for the summer. Responsibility."

  Ella’s face is pale, and she sips from her wine glass. She looks meaningfully at Caulter. “Yes. Maybe he’s realized that there are significant things at stake.”

  I'm sure Ella is trying to subtly threaten Caulter with his trust fund, and I hope he's not stupid enough to be playing some kind of game with my father's campaign.

  “I’m impressed by the importance of family, mom,” he says.

  Yeah, right.

  “And by the idea of contributing to a political campaign," he continues. "I think I'd like to try having a little structure, some boundaries." Caulter slides his foot up the side of my leg again, and I move my leg away.

  “You should be involved." My father is stupid enough to fall for Caulter's brand of bullshit? “Structure and boundaries. It's what you need. You see, Ella, I've said this a hundred times. Structure and boundaries are the two most important things when raising children. Look at Katherine. She's a product of that."

  "Katherine is a fine example of that, sir," Caulter says, sliding his foot up my leg. This time,