All Fall Down Read online

  Liesel shook her head. “I don’t know. They went out a couple times. She used to kind of light up when she talked about him, and now she never mentions him at all. When I asked her about him, she clammed up and got all quiet, wouldn’t tell me anything else. She gets that…look.”

  “What look?”

  Liesel demonstrated, making her gaze go far away, her face blank. “Happy does it, too. It’s like when they get upset, they go away.”

  “Peace doesn’t?”

  “Not like that. Maybe she’s too young.” Liesel studied the children as they now ran in a circle around Bliss sitting in the grass, playing tag. Maybe Duck, Duck, Goose. “Too much personality. Whatever it is, I know when she looks like that there’s no use trying to get anything out of her. She’s doing whatever it is that she talked about so much when she got here. Listening with her heart.”

  “Maybe she’s doing something else.”

  That earned a laugh. “Like what?”

  Becka lifted a brow. “I don’t know. What did we do when we were teenagers?”

  “She’s not a teenager.” Liesel shrugged. “I don’t think she’s smoking dope or getting drunk or something like that, if that’s what you mean. And even if she was…well. Like I said, she’s not really a child.”

  “The way she was brought up, I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t go a little wild. Hell, we went wild and we weren’t raised in a cult.”

  Liesel laughed again, without much humor. “Honestly, I don’t think she knows how.”

  “How to what?”

  “Go wild,” Liesel said. “Rebel. I don’t think she knows how. I sort of wish she had, that would’ve made her…normal.”

  Becka made a face. “Poor kid. But how are you doing? You know you could’ve called me that day. I’m a hundred million times thankful you didn’t, but you know you could’ve.”

  Liesel laughed. “I know. I’m doing…better. Much better. Christopher and I had a long talk. He’s been a lot better about pitching in around here.”

  “Funny how that works, when you ask him,” Becka said. “I knew I liked him for a reason.”

  Liesel rolled her eyes. “I thought I could do it all myself, like I was the one who said they should stay here, I should be able to take care of the kids.”

  “Nobody can do it all by themselves and stay sane.” Becka said this with her usual firmness of conviction. “It sucks you had to nearly break down before he figured it out, but I guess he’s a dude, what can you do.”

  “Pffft. It’s still a lot of work,” Liesel said. “For a man who’s ironed his own clothes for as long as I’ve known him, you’d think tossing some dirty clothes in the washer, getting them to the dryer and folding them after wouldn’t be so much like brain surgery.”

  “Oh, but it is,” Becka said with a snort. “And then he wants a trophy after, am I right?”

  “Something like that. But it’s been better these past two weeks. He’s even been getting up earlier so I can take a run in the morning before Sunny leaves for work. And he doesn’t leave his phone off anymore, either. If I need him, he answers.”

  “That’s good.” Becka nodded. “Really good. I’m glad to hear it.”

  “I think things might just be…okay,” Liesel said hesitantly, as though by saying it aloud it might jinx everything.

  Overhead, thunder rumbled. The first fat, cold drops of rain spattered down and left dark marks on the light wood of the table. Liesel stood to check on the kids and saw a flash of lightning. Far off, but still close enough for worry.

  Sunny was already up and gathering them. Not running across the grass, but herding them purposefully toward the house. Holding Bliss’s hand, she helped the baby—no, she was a toddler now. Helping her walk. Bliss stumbled and fell, but Sunny caught her just as more rain started falling.

  “Come on, guys!” Liesel cried. “Get inside!”

  Happy and Peace, full of giggles, clambered up onto the deck. Sunny, who’d scooped up a protesting Bliss, joined them a minute later. Just in time, because another flash of lightning lit the sky, followed by a crack of thunder, and all of them ran inside the house just before the clouds opened up all the way and the rain poured down.

  Chapter 46

  “Sunny, Sunny, Sunshine.”

  Sunny looked up from the counter she’d been wiping. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  Josiah looked around the empty coffee shop, then back at her. His frown said he was confused, though his gaze was anything but. “I don’t understand. I came to see you.”

  “If you’re not going to buy anything to eat or drink, you should go. This is my work, not a social… It’s not for me to just hang out.” She wiped at the counter, but it was so clean already her rag did nothing but squeak against it.

  “I came to invite you to spend the weekend with us. You and the children, of course. We’d love to see them again. How old is Happy now? He’ll be five soon.”

  “Yes. He’ll go to kindergarten next year. He’s going to start preschool in a few months.” She lifted her chin defiantly, expecting Josiah to scold.

  He simply gave her one of those kind, understanding looks. “I’m sure the people you live with feel it’s best for him to go to school.”

  “He needs to learn how to interact with other children.” Sunny parroted what Liesel had said, though deep inside her heart and guts she wasn’t as convinced mingling with blemished children would be good for her son. She wanted to believe it the way she’d tried to believe everything else everyone wanted her to accept. Liesel, Chris, Dr. Braddock.

  But in her heart…she really didn’t.

  “We have other children in our family. Not as many as in Sanctuary, that’s true. But we’re growing. We need you, Sunshine. We miss you.” Josiah leaned across the counter. “I miss you.”

  She flushed, thinking again of his touch on her and how it had made her feel. She shouldn’t be ashamed, at least not according to him. But she couldn’t meet his gaze, not even when he reached across the counter and took her hand, rubbed his thumb on the back of it. She thought of the way his mouth had tasted, and pulled away.

  “I think you should go.”

  “Your place is with us, you know it is.” Josiah sighed.

  This time of day was always so busy, yet now there was nobody to save her from him. No customer asking for a muffin, no tables to clean off. Amy and Wendy had gone on a few deliveries, trusting Sunny to stay and mind things here. She couldn’t run away.

  She wanted to run away.

  He sighed again and let go of her hand. “Tell me that you feel at home there, and I’ll leave you alone. Tell me honestly that you feel like you belong, that you’re not missing something. Tell me you don’t ache for something you don’t have, Sunshine, and I will walk out this door and never bother you again.”

  She didn’t say a word, unwilling to speak with a liar’s tongue though she’d done so many times before.

  “You can’t, can you?” Josiah spoke quietly, low enough that even if there was someone else in here, the only person who could hear him would be Sunny. “Sunshine. I know. I left my father’s house, remember?”

  “You were thrown out.”

  Josiah took a step back, for a moment looking grim before nodding. “Yes. You’re right. I was thrown out. Why? Because I didn’t agree with everything my father and my brother were doing. They took the message and…they ruined it. They broke it. They made it something bad.”

  Sunny looked him in the eye. “What makes your message any better?”

  “At least I have one,” Josiah said. “What do the blemished have except greed? They damage their vessels and spend their time accumulating material things, wasting their time with everything that doesn’t matter. Is that what you want for