All Fall Down Read online

  “No!” Happy’s cry was so agonizing it turned the heads of several of the mothers sitting on the next bench over. “No!”

  “Happy. Hush.” Sunny’s command slipped from Liesel’s lips and a pang of guilt stung her at how easily manipulated he was, but he did go quiet. “Happy, I promise you, nothing bad will happen to you here. It’s a playground, it’s a special place for kids to play. It’s… You’ll have fun. Okay?”

  Peace pointed at the swings. “Wanna do that.”

  “You can. Go ahead.”

  With a significantly triumphant look at her brother, Peace skipped off toward the swings. Liesel scooped Bliss out of the sand to keep her from shoving more grit into her mouth, then turned to Happy. He’d gone white-faced and sweating, and Liesel pulled out a bottle of water from the diaper bag. She pressed it into his hand.

  “Happy. Drink this.”

  He did, so automatically it was disturbing to watch. Liesel’s heart hurt for him in that moment, more than any other since the first time she’d opened the door and found them on her doorstep.

  She stroked his sweat-soaked hair back from his forehead. “I know this is scary, sweetie.”

  Happy’s eyes were glued on Peace, who’d managed to get her little butt into one of the rubber swings but hadn’t managed to figure out how to get herself to move. “She should come back here.”

  “It’s really going to be all right. Look at me.”

  Reluctantly, he did. Liesel pulled him closer, not quite onto her lap. Bliss let out a squeak of protest that caught Happy’s attention, and he kissed the baby’s head. Liesel put her arm around him, felt the trembling in his small shoulders.

  “Why are you afraid?” She didn’t expect an answer. The kid was four, it was ridiculous to think he’d be able to articulate his fears when he might not even understand them.

  Happy looked at her with wide eyes. Christopher’s eyes. “They’ll take us away.”

  “Who? The other kids?”

  He shook his head and jerked his chin toward the other mothers, who’d turned back to their conversation. Liesel sighed, uncertain of what to say. She gently squeezed Happy’s hip.

  “They won’t. Those are other mommies. They’re here with their kids, just like I’m here with you and Peace and Bliss. They’re not here to take away anyone but the kids they brought with them.”

  “Peace!” Happy shrieked and broke away.

  A well-meaning mother had settled her son into the swing beside Peace, and now was taking alternative turns pushing each of them. She caught Peace’s swing and pulled it back, up high, then let go. Peace screamed as she swung forward. Liesel couldn’t tell if it was in terror or joy, but either way, Happy was running as fast as he could toward her.

  “Happy! Wait!”

  Too late. He’d thrown himself toward his sister, right in the path of the oncoming swing. It missed him, but barely, and the other mother was quick enough to grab Peace on the backswing and keep her from moving forward again. By the time Liesel got there, her arms aching from clutching Bliss, Happy had put his arms around his sister to stand off with the woman he thought was trying to hurt her.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Liesel said. “He thought you were trying to…”

  Ah, shit. What could she say? The expression on the other mother’s face was clearly judgmental, verging on disdain.

  “I was just pushing her.”

  The unspoken criticism, that Liesel’s “son” needed to take a chill pill both rankled and embarrassed her. “I know. I’m sorry. He was just worried about his sister.”

  The other mother nodded with a small, tight smile and helped her son get off the swing. She spoke over her shoulder as she led him away. “No problem. Kids get crazy ideas sometimes.”

  “Yeah. Thanks, sorry again.” Liesel knelt to force Happy to look at her. “Hush.”

  He did, though his eyes were still wide, lips still trembling. He blinked rapidly. Still no tears. Totally unnatural. Liesel sighed.

  “Happy, you’re fine. Peace is fine. Bliss is fine. I’m fine.”

  He nodded slowly. “That lady was going to push Peace off.”

  “No, honey, she was just pushing her on the swing. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Want me to show you?”

  “Yes!” Peace cried.

  But Happy shook his head. Liesel sighed again. Bliss was making cranky noises and squirming, rubbing at her eyes like she was tired again.

  Liesel pulled Happy close enough for a hug and kissed his temple. He surprised her by putting his arms around her, holding almost too tight. She heard the sharp whistle of his breath in her ear.

  “Maybe another time,” Liesel said. “We can come back another time.”

  Chapter 27

  “Sunny, Sunny, Sunshine.” Josiah’s broad, white smile is impossible not to return. He’s wearing a white shirt open at the throat, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His jeans are worn, the hems ragged. His wheat-colored hair is too long, falling just past his shoulders, and he wears a beard even though most of the other men don’t. “How are you doing?”

  Sunny gestures at the stack of pamphlets she’s been bundling and rubber-banding together. The ink has smeared on her fingers, turning them black. She has five hundred to sell, an impossible number, but since yesterday she didn’t sell her hundred and the day before that she didn’t sell her hundred either, John Second says she has to do extra or face the consequences. She’s already facing them. Rationed dinner. Being made to stand for hours, hands linked behind her head, until the world spins and knocks her over. Not the silent room.

  Not yet.

  “Getting ready,” she says.

  “Not what are you doing. How.” Josiah looks over the stacks on the table, touches one to flip the edges of the pamphlets with his fingertip. “My brother expects a lot from you.”

  He and Sunny are alone in Papa’s library. John Second had brought in the box of pamphlets and told everyone to portion theirs out. The van will be leaving in an hour. Then they’ll drive another hour to find places to canvass. Sunny’s the only one who didn’t finish in a few minutes, but she’d had to leave the room several times to go to the toilet. She thought she was going to be sick, but since today breakfast had been only a couple pieces of dry toast, she’d had nothing to bring up. She’s eaten next to nothing over the past few months. Her stomach constantly feels raw and rumbly, but her clothes are a little too tight around the middle no matter what she does.

  “That’s too many for you though, no matter how pretty your smile is.” Josiah’s smile tempts her into another. “And you look…tired.”

  Under his scrutiny, Sunny wants to shrink. John Second looks at her with flat snake eyes, but Josiah’s gaze is always much warmer. It makes her cheeks hot. He’s looking at her that way now, something curious in his eyes.

  “My brother…does he…” Josiah shakes his head with a frown, but stops himself.

  Does he what? she wonders. Does he know she hates selling literature? Does he know she snuck a jar of peanut butter from the kitchen last week, that it’s hidden under her bed in case she’s ever hungry again? Does John Second know of the other things Sunny’s done but hasn’t made a report on?

  John Second comes through the doorway and gives his brother a sideways, sneering look. “Sunshine. Let’s go.”

  “I’m almost ready.”

  “We’re waiting for you.”

  Sunny stands and gathers her bundles of pamphlets. Papa’s words. The Story of the First Father and His One True Wife. The Story of the Two True Sons. Living in the Light. She’s read them all so many times but could never repeat them aloud, because every time the new boxes come out of the print shop in the big barn, the words have changed. Sometimes a little, sometimes a whole lot. No