All Fall Down Read online

  “Come on, my sweethearts. Happy, take Peace’s hand. Hold it tight. Peace, hold Mama’s hand.”

  “Told!” Peace cried. Twin runners of snot crept down her upper lip. “Mama, I told!”

  “We’re all cold, my sweetheart,” Sunny said. “Mama’s going to take you someplace warm.”

  But could she? That was the question. This was stupid, ridiculous…terrifying. She should take her children and go around the front of the building. Bang on the doors if they were locked, demand to be let back in. Everyone would be in the chapel, but surely someone would be missing them. Someone would come to the door to let them back inside.

  Except that her mother had told her to run, and Sunny had listened with her heart the way Papa had taught them all to do. And her heart said her mother was right.

  Sunny ran.

  Gripping her children’s hands tight, slipping and sliding in the slush and ice, she ran as fast as she could across the yard. Past the greenhouses, silent and still but alive on the inside with the promise of spring. Down the hill toward the fence and the creek. To the hole by the drainage pipe, where they all stopped to sob for breath and shake, their clothes no help against the cold.

  Behind them, the building that housed the entire Family of Superior Bliss blazed with heavy-duty security lights. They’d run far enough that the faint sound of alarms from inside had faded even more, but now Sunny heard shouting voices. Again, she thought of waving and shouting them over. Anything to get back inside where it was warm, where her feet weren’t frozen inside boots that were too big and her children weren’t wailing and quaking with terror and cold. It was only a few more hours until sunrise. There’d be oatmeal for breakfast. Hot tea. The children would be put down for naps, and she could possibly sneak some sleep while pretending to listen…except that wasn’t what would happen. If John Second knew they’d been trying to run away from Sanctuary…

  “Mama?”

  “Under the fence, love. Go.” Sunny pushed at the metal links. Her bare fingers froze at once, ripping the skin when she pulled them away. Happy scrambled through with Peace, no longer weeping aloud but simply shaking, following close after.

  Sunny bent with Bliss cradled in one arm while she used the other to shove up the metal fence. She couldn’t get through. With the pack on her back, she was too big. Her feet in the oversize boots slipped on the icy ground. She was caught, and she pushed, struggling. The fence tore through her nightgown, then the flesh beneath. She fell, shielding her baby, but hit the ground hard with her arm.

  She muffled a scream of pain and bit her tongue. She tasted blood. She pulled herself through the opening and rolled onto her back, the baby on her chest. She closed her eyes, breathing hard, thinking there was no way they’d get free. Whoever had come out after them would have had to see their tracks. They’d be found at any second. Caught. Brought back.

  Punished.

  She’d never missed a rainbow drill. Sunny knew what happened to people who didn’t obey. She thought she’d be able to take a switching, the time spent in the silent room. But her babies couldn’t.

  She hadn’t chosen this; her mother had chosen it for her. But now Sunny had no choice. If she wanted to save her children from being taken from her, beaten, tossed in a tiny holding cell where they’d go without food and water and sit in their own filth for hours at a time…if she wanted to protect her babies, she would get herself off this frozen ground and move. She would move.

  There were so many stars tonight, bright cold points against a black sky. Sunny took strength from their beauty. Stars burned, that’s how they made their light. They were millions and millions of miles away, and they burned so hard people on earth could see their light. If a star could burn, so could she.

  She got up, her leg on fire with pain that echoed in her back and arms. She gathered her children to her, and together they slid down the bank toward the creek. It was never deep, now no more than a trickle, but their feet punched immediately through the thin crust of ice. They were soaked. Peace screamed. Sunny grabbed her up, the baby in one arm and Peace on her hip. Her pack dragged her backward so she thought she might fall, but she caught herself before she could.

  “Go, Happy. Past the pipe, up the hill.”

  They struggled their way up the slippery hill, Sunny at one point on her knees, unable to stand. But they made it. Down the other side, toward the highway. No cars. Nothing but the dark strip of road leading away from the compound, away from the family. Away from everything Sunny had ever known.

  “Hold on to my hand, Happy. Hold on tight.”

  Sunny’s feet hit the pavement. She found her balance. And she ran.

  Chapter 1

  Liesel Albright liked to run.

  She ran outside every morning when the weather was nice, up and down the hills of her neighborhood, passing houses with their windows often still dark and inhabitants blissfully asleep. When the weather was bad she ran inside on her treadmill while she streamed old television shows from Interflix on her computer monitor. She didn’t like this as much, because running at home meant Christopher could and would stop in to interrupt her with questions about things he could surely have figured out for himself, if only she weren’t so deliciously accessible. He also liked to kiss her before he left for work, and it was never the kisses Liesel minded or the sentiment behind them, but the simple fact that it was impossible for her husband to properly kiss her while her feet were steadily chewing up the miles that never took her anywhere. She always had to stop running in order to offer him her mouth, and she hated the way he squeezed her when she was all sweaty.

  Running outside was better.

  Outside, she ran with her headphones on and listened to anything she wanted without worrying what anyone might think about her penchant for the latest pop hits or retro songs from her youth. Even from her parents’ youth. Audiobooks, podcasts. Occasionally her iPod shuffled a movie while she ran, and sometimes instead of skipping it Liesel listened to the dialogue from her favorite films. She covered a lot of distance with Han Solo and Luke Skywalker cheering her on.

  She wasn’t a spectacularly fast runner, and she’d never gotten herself all worked up about running as a sport. No marathons for her, no fancy equipment like pedometers or sweatbands that wick away the moisture. She invested in the best sneakers she could justify buying and made sure her running clothes fit well so they didn’t chafe or have her risk an injury, but beyond that, Liesel simply woke every morning a spare half a minute before her alarm went off. She got up, brushed her teeth, slipped in her contact lenses, tucked her hair under a knit cap if it was cold, went outside…and ran.

  The benefits of the exercise were, of course, obvious in the physical. A tight butt and belly that looked okay in a bikini even if her thighs would always jiggle too much for her taste. Liesel had never been a fan of miniskirts and Daisy Duke–style shorts, but she liked knowing that if she wanted to wear outfits like that, she could get away with it even though she was inching out of her thirties.

  Beyond the physical, though, were the mental benefits she gained from the exercise. While she was running, it was not only possible for Liesel to put aside everything that was in her head, it was nearly impossible for her to do anything else. No worries about the mess the world was in and how her donations to charities were useless when people were still dying every day from disasters both natural and man-made, and they always would. She didn’t have to think about the holidays, how much money to spend on gifts to do her part in stimulating the economy so that she could stop worrying about that…putting one foot in front of the other, faster and faster, the slap of her sneakers on the pavement the only sound that mattered, Liesel didn’t have to worry if her house was clean enough or if she ought to pull out the fridge and get underneath it with the mop.

  When she was running, Liesel was free.