All Fall Down Read online

  Chapter 39

  Sunny had come home.

  There were familiar faces even though it had been years since she’d seen them, the men with their long hair and the women without the heavy masks of makeup Sunny was embarrassed to admit had become attractive to her. She chewed at the thin sheen of lip balm she’d applied earlier. It had only the barest hint of color, and she wore it mostly to keep her lips from getting chapped, but here in a family house she might as well have painted herself with crimson lipstick and every shade of eye shadow.

  Familiar scents, too. Bundles of dried rosemary, sage and other herbs hung up in the corners of the rooms the way Papa had always instructed them. The sting of Pine-Sol from the bucket of water by the door. Even the warm and cozy smell of wax from the pillar candle on the table.

  And they took her in, welcomed her as one of their own. The only judgment Sunny saw was in her own eyes in the bathroom mirror when she went in to wash her hands before dinner. There she stared at herself, this worldly girl with painted lips and her hair loose around her shoulders, her clothes not quite as modest as she knew they ought to be.

  Josiah put his hand on her shoulder when she came out of the bathroom and turned her to face all of them sitting at the long trestle table. Sunny knew that not everyone lived in this house, but they’d all gathered here to share a meal with her. She should have felt honored, but felt mostly shamed that she’d waited so long to come home.

  “Everyone, you remember Sunshine.”

  Murmured greetings, nodding heads. Sunny smiled at all of them. There was Joy and Henry and Fleur. Patch, too, looking older and giving her a smile that said he hadn’t forgotten those nights behind the barn. There were babies and children she didn’t recognize, along with some men and women she knew had not lived at Sanctuary.

  “You sit with me. Here, at the front of the table.” Josiah put his hand on the small of her back to take her to the chair next to his.

  It was a place of honor, one Sunny didn’t deserve or understand why she’d been given, but she sat anyway. Josiah sat next to her. He took her hand, which startled her until she saw him reach for the hand of the person on his other side and felt her own taken by the one next to her.

  “Thank you for the winds that blow, thank you for the seeds that grow, thank you for the earth to plow, thank you for the love you show.”

  Sunny stumbled on the words that had once been so familiar she wouldn’t have had to think twice about them. Nobody seemed to notice how her tongue tangled. Josiah squeezed her fingers and let them go.

  Before even being served the first bite of food at every meal in Sanctuary, everyone sat on uncomfortable benches and had to listen to Papa, or later John Second, talk on and on about the importance of preparing your vessel by resisting overindulgences. Sunny had fallen out of the habit of automatically tasting something to make sure it wasn’t undercooked or spoiled. As the platters of roasted chicken and vegetables were brought in from the kitchen though, she didn’t think she had to worry about this meal.

  “My father thought the best way to feed the soul was by starving the body,” Josiah said to her quietly as everyone passed their plates to fill with food. “I believe in limiting indulgences, of course. It makes sense that we need to keep our vessels in excellent condition, obviously, by avoiding toxins and chemicals and prepared foods. But there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a meal. When it nourishes the body, it nourishes the soul, too.”

  The food was delicious, but she couldn’t eat much. Josiah sitting so close to her, paying such attention, was too distracting. That and the conversations that rose and fell all around the table.

  This version of the family was far more politically aware and active than Sunny could remember Papa’s children being. They spoke eagerly and with passion about working to create awareness through their literature, not just of the ways to get through the gates, but of political and religious tolerance. Of health issues. Josiah spoke at length about his efforts in the community to work with local churches and the food bank to make sure there were organic food options for those who relied on such aid to eat.

  “Nobody should be forced to destroy their vessels with food additives simply because they have to get their food from charitable resources,” Josiah said.

  Papa had always talked while they listened, and his first true son had done the same. Josiah, on the other hand, also took the time to listen. He heard what his family had to say about any topic that was brought up.

  But when he turned to Sunny to ask her what she thought about what she might be able to do at the coffee shop, if she might be able to convince her bosses to weed out all products containing harmful elements, she could only shake her head.

  “They don’t ask me to help with anything like that.”

  Josiah gave her a kind look. “You could take them some literature. The first step in getting anyone on the right path is information. You could ask them to display some of it in case any of their customers are interested.”

  Amy and Wendy were both adamantly antireligion. Sunny thought it had something to do with the fact that the matching rings they wore were symbolic and not legal.

  Sunny shook her head. “I don’t think they’d allow it. They wouldn’t let a church group put their materials on the bulletin board.”

  “Ah, well,” Josiah said after a second’s hesitation. “Maybe you could just ask.”

  She could not say yes and felt awkward saying no, so Sunny said nothing. Josiah’s eyes gleamed a little when he smiled at her. But he didn’t push.

  After dinner, Sunny offered to help with the dishes but was kindly turned down.

  “You’re our guest,” Josiah told her. “Come into the living room, we have testimonies.”

  Sunny was not the only invited guest that night. Another young woman and an older man were both there to learn more about the family. The older man sat quietly in the corner, saying nothing, but the young woman took a seat next to Sunny.

  “I’m Lisa. This is my third dinner here. It’s so cool, isn’t it? But you’d know that, you’re lucky. You’re already part of the family, right? You’re not one of us blemished.”

  Sunny recoiled the tiniest bit at how casually Lisa dropped the term. “I grew up in the family, yes.”

  Lisa leaned closer. “In Sanctuary, right?”

  Sunny nodded.

  Lisa grinned. “So lucky! Josiah told me about how it was there, your own place. Back to the land and everything. What a bummer his dad and brother had that falling-out with him. Josiah is a kick-butt leader. I’m totally going to join, if they let me. I just have to prove myself a little more.”

  “How do you do that?”

  Lisa shrugged. “Well, I have to do my share of information sharing. Got my dad over there to come. Since him and my mom got divorced, his health’s gone to crap. High blood pressure, angina. I got him on this healthy diet Josiah told me about, and he’s doing so much better.”

  Her dad was the quiet older man sitting in the corner.

  “It’s just that he doesn’t want to sell the house, which, you know, he’d have to do to bring money into the family. Help out.” Lisa said this under her breath, sharing secrets Sunny didn’t want to know. “I think he’s cool with most of the other stuff though, especially the part about maybe getting a new, young wife…or two. Or three.”

  Lisa’s chuckle grated like sandpaper on Sunny’s teeth. “How’s he going to get a wife?”

  “Oh, that’s easy. See, Josiah says he doesn’t agree with his father’s idea about that one-true-wife thing.”

  “Thing?”

  “You know, how nobody else should be allowed to get hooked up unless the leader of the family has his one true wife. Josiah says love should be free for everyone, and nobody should be forced to do what they don’t w