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  Nick looked at her. “Yeah?”

  He didn’t reach for her, and Bess stayed her hand from reaching for him. “Yes.”

  “Let me guess. You want to get busy.” Nick’s quirking smile shot relief through her.

  “I thought we could,” Bess said.

  He didn’t move, so she leaned forward to brush her lips against his. He opened his mouth for her at once and, encouraged, she slid onto his lap to tip his head back. She cupped his face as she kissed him. She took her time. She kissed him deeply and slowly, until his hands tightened on her hips and his crotch bulged beneath her.

  “That’s better,” she whispered against his mouth as she pushed her body down on his erection.

  “I aim to please,” he murmured, his hands sliding under her shirt to press her bare back.

  It wasn’t the first time he’d allowed her to take charge, but it was the first time it felt he was merely going through the motions rather than enthusiastically participating. He was inside her. His hands were on her. His mouth beneath hers moved, his tongue stroked. He whispered her name, and he shuddered as she rode him. When she came with a low cry, Nick held her close.

  But when she looked into his face, he was gazing out through the glass, toward the sea.

  He said nothing as she untangled herself from him and got off the couch, or when she rearranged her clothes. He got up after a minute and zipped his pants, ran his hands through his hair. He was still looking out and not at her.

  “Where are you going?” She didn’t like her own petulant tone, but Nick didn’t seem to notice.

  “For a walk.”

  “Want me to come with you?” She was already beside him, reaching for his hand.

  He looked down at their linked fingers, then at her face. “No. Not really.”

  It took her a second, but Bess dropped his hand. Nick, not smiling, not frowning, turned his gaze back toward the glass. He walked slowly toward it, pushed the handle of the door, stepped through.

  She followed him. “Nick.”

  He paused at the top of the stairs, but said nothing. Bess stayed in the doorway. After a moment he started down the stairs toward the sand.

  “Nick, wait!”

  “I’m just taking a walk,” he snapped, turning at last to glare at her. “Fuck, is that okay? Can I do that?”

  “I just thought…” But she didn’t know what she thought. Or what to say.

  Once again, she’d begun to doubt.

  “What? You thought you’d check up on me? Or what? You know I can’t fucking go anywhere.”

  His voice was too loud and Bess glanced automatically toward the houses on either side. Nick saw the look and spat into the sand.

  “You don’t have to worry about me,” he said in a voice thick with derision. “I’ll be back to service your every desire in a while.”

  Bess drew back at the tone. “That’s not what I was going to say.”

  She went down the stairs, but he drew away from her at the bottom, and she didn’t touch him. Nick turned his face, jaw clenched, and Bess struggled to keep her voice from shaking. “What’s the matter, Nick?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Something is wrong. I can see it.” She moved forward. He stepped back.

  “I just want to take a walk, by myself. I just want to be alone for a little while, without you hanging all over me.”

  “I thought you liked me hanging all over you.” Her sad attempt at humor didn’t bring a smile from him, and her stomach turned over in dismay.

  “Yeah, well,” Nick said. “Do I have any other choice?”

  She recognized the look he gave her. She’d seen it before, a long time ago. Knowing he was pushing her away on purpose didn’t make it any easier to bear. She licked her lips, and for once his gaze didn’t flicker to the motion of her tongue.

  The breeze lifted his hair from his forehead. It brought the sound of the ocean to them both, but it was Bess this time who turned to face the water.

  “Go then, if you want,” she said. “Don’t let me keep you.”

  He made a disgusted gesture and turned. Bess watched him, but she didn’t follow.

  CHAPTER 42

  Then

  It wasn’t the last party of the summer, but it was the last one Bess would attend. She’d already packed her car. The beach house had been cleaned and stood silent, empty of the stream of relatives who’d spent their summer vacations there. Tomorrow she’d be back in Pennsylvania, in the small, ugly apartment she’d rented instead of staying in a dormitory. Tomorrow everything that had happened here would finally be over.

  Eddie, who never came to parties, but had asked her to come to this one, shadowed her. He wasn’t so bold as to try to hold her hand, but Bess would have let him, if he had. She hadn’t forgotten the comfort of his arm around her shoulder, or the way he’d stroked her hair without saying anything when silence had been exactly what she’d needed.

  Brian’s apartment was nearly bare in preparation for his own departure on the morrow, which was why he was having a party tonight. Nothing to break or stain, he’d told her earlier during their last shift together. And with charging everyone a two-dollar keg fee, he might actually make enough money to pay for his gas back to New Jersey. Bess admired his ingenuity.

  She had a beer in her hand when Missy pranced across her line of sight, and to give her credit, Bess didn’t throw it. Missy pretended she didn’t see her, and that was just fine. Bess wasn’t there to fight.

  She wasn’t sure why she was there until she saw Nick. He stood against the far wall of Brian’s miniscule apartment, his baseball cap pulled low over his eyes. It was almost exactly the same way he’d looked the first time she’d seen him.

  She still wanted to get on her knees for him, wanted him so much it made her shake. More now, even, then the first time she’d seen him, because now she knew just how good it would feel. Like a junkie, she wanted him even though she knew it was bad for her. It seemed she’d risk anything for that few moments of high.

  “You okay?” Eddie touched her elbow, his gaze following hers. “Do you want to leave?”

  “No. Not unless you want to.” Bess smiled at him and was glad to see he didn’t duck his face away or blush the way he always had.

  Eddie shook his head, his gaze steady. “No. But if you want to leave, just let me know.”

  He was protecting her, and Bess wanted to hug him for it even though she didn’t feel she needed protecting. “I’m okay, Eddie. Really.”

  He nodded solemnly. “Okay.”

  The party swelled, the music got louder. The beer flowed. Eddie disappeared into the crowd to get her another drink, and didn’t come back right away. Bess spotted him in a circle of girls in the kitchenette. Younger girls, too young to be drinking, and too drunk to care. To them, Eddie must have seemed quite a catch, not that Bess any longer disagreed, and so when he didn’t come back after another five minutes she took it upon herself to grab another beer.

  She hated the taste and smell of it, but drank it anyway. It left fur on her tongue and the back of her throat, and made her wish for some water. Getting a drink of water meant fighting the crowd, and she didn’t feel like doing it. Cool air might do the trick, as well, and she sought it on Brian’s back deck. It didn’t quite overlook the ocean, but if you hung over the railing and strained your neck around the corner and knew just where to look, you could catch a glimpse of the beach. At least you could in the daytime.

  Nick was there, of course, because that was how the universe worked. Bess saw him right away, knew him by the slope of his shoulders and the smell of the smoke, even though she couldn’t see his face.

  Two beers hadn’t made her drunk, but allowed her to fake confidence. When she put her hands on the railing next to him, Nick didn’t startle. He turned to face her, and though she wanted to see something on his face other than impassivity, all she saw was the cherry, glowing tip of his Swisher Sweet.

  “You’re leaving tomorrow.” He wasn