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  Bess had worked with Eddie for the past three summers, and he’d never stopped by to say hi. “That was nice.”

  Eddie shifted a little. “Want to take a walk with me?”

  This earned them both another set of looks, so to fend off questions, Bess nodded. “Sure.”

  Eddie let her go first down the set of splintery stairs to the sand below. Bess waited at the bottom. She found she couldn’t quite look at Eddie as they walked side by side toward the water, and for the first time, understood how it must be for him to be near her.

  “So…how are you?” Eddie scuffed some sand.

  He couldn’t have known she needed a friend just then, and yet there he was. “I’m okay.”

  He nodded, not looking at her. “Good.”

  Bess slipped off her sandals and walked to the water’s edge. The cool waves tickled her toes as she stood, staring out at the sea. She thought there should be something to say, some conversation to be had, but nothing seemed to come. Eddie didn’t seem inclined to say anything, either. Together they stood at the edge of the waves and watched them go in and out.

  They stood there for a long time.

  “Thanks, Eddie,” Bess said finally.

  “Sure,” he said, and looked at her. She looked back. “Anytime.”

  Now

  Neither of her sons seemed to care when Bess told them she had a boarder. They’d hosted exchange students in the past, and this didn’t seem too different. They were both a lot like their father in that way, not caring about things that didn’t have much to do with themselves. Connor had only grunted, staring out the window, and from the backseat Robbie hadn’t said much more.

  Bess stopped herself from talking more about it, though her mouth wanted to keep running. Something in her words or the tone of her voice would give her away if she spoke too much. If the situation had been different, she told herself, she’d have been honest about Nick’s presence in her life in the way Andy hadn’t been. But things weren’t different; Nick still looked twenty-one and he wasn’t quite alive. It would be asking a lot for her boys to accept him as her lover.

  She didn’t want to admit she was afraid about telling the truth. If Andy was the only one with a lover, she’d shine so much more brightly in comparison, wouldn’t she? If the finger of blame were pointed it would be at Andy, not her. She was ashamed to realize how important that felt.

  The closer they got to the beach house the faster her heart beat. By the time they pulled into the carport beneath the house, she was sweating. Her back ached from sitting so stiffly behind the wheel. Her stomach dipped and dived with anticipation.

  Love and food poisoning, strikingly similar.

  Connor and Robbie got out of the car before Bess did, and both had grabbed their duffels from the trunk before she’d even closed her door. She’d given them both their own keys, and Connor unlocked the door. They were both inside, the door hanging open behind them, while she still stood by the car.

  The longer she waited to go inside, the higher the anticipation built. The longer she could convince herself he’d be there, that all would be well. If she didn’t go inside, she’d never have to find out if he’d left her while she was gone.

  “Mom!” Robbie’s voice drifted down the stairs. “Can you grab my pillow?”

  Bess unlocked the trunk again and pulled out Robbie’s pillow. With no more excuse to linger, she went inside. Directly ahead of her down the short hall were the stairs. Immediately to her right was the door to the laundry room, and next to it the door to Nick’s room. It was closed. Had it been open when she left? She couldn’t remember.

  “I get the big room!”

  “No way!”

  “I’m older!”

  “Mom!”

  “Coming!” She navigated the stairs, gave Robbie his pillow and went to her bedroom to put away her purse. Her heart lifted and fell when the room was empty and silent.

  No Nick.

  He was gone. She knew it. She’d left him for two days and it hadn’t been enough to keep him here. He’d gone away again—

  The rumble of voices in the living room caught her ear and an undertow of relief tumbled her around for a minute before she went out to see them all. Connor had already raided the fridge for soda. Robbie was pulling out the video game console Bess had brought on an earlier trip but had never hooked up.

  And Nick…oh, Nick stood in the living room wearing a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt over a plain white T-shirt. She’d bought him those clothes based on her memories of his taste, and they fit him as well as if he’d picked them out. The sight of his bare feet had her wanting to get on her knees to kiss them.

  “Hey, Bess.” Nick’s casual grin and wave were not the sort of greeting she’d grown used to from him.

  It took her too long to answer, and before she could, Nick had already bent over the video game system Robbie was untangling.

  “Sweet system,” he said.

  It was the perfect thing to say. Robbie beamed. “Thanks. I got the new Bounty Hunter game. Want to play?”

  “Sure.”

  Connor hollered from the kitchen, “He sucks, man! You’ll kick his ass.”

  “I doubt it,” Nick said.

  “So, you’ve met N-Nick.” She stuttered a little on his name and earned a curious glance from Robbie and a more intense one from Connor. “Nick, these are my sons, Robbie and Connor.”

  Robbie grinned. “And I don’t suck.”

  Connor wandered into the living room with the bag of chips and the drink and plopped onto the couch. He put his feet up on the coffee table and tossed the chips there, too. “You do, dude.”

  “Whatever.” Robbie dismissed him. He finished untangling the myriad of cords and handed one game controller to Nick. “My mom says you’re staying for the summer, huh? In the little room?”

  “Yeah. Got a job at the Rusty Rudder, tending bar. So I won’t be around that much.” Nick took the controller and passed his thumbs over the knobs and buttons. He didn’t look at Bess.

  None of them looked at her. She’d experienced this before, the Invisibility of Motherhood. She shouldn’t have been surprised or disappointed. She wanted her boys to accept Nick as part of the household. She wanted him to like them.

  So why did it feel as if they’d automatically formed some sort of club in which she was not welcome?

  Bess went to the kitchen to put away the bottle of soda Connor had left on the table. The blips and buzzes of the video game filtered into the kitchen from the living room, punctuated by Connor’s taunts and Robbie’s retorts. A quick check of the fridge and cupboards told her she needed to buy groceries. What had sustained her for the past few weeks was going to last no more than a day or two with the boys in the house.

  She looked out into the living room. Nick’s dark hair contrasted sharply with Robbie’s blond shag. The three of them laughed. Boys playing. How could she have thought he wouldn’t get along with them? He was only a few years older than they were, after all.

  Her gaze caught the framed reproduction of a map of the world hanging on the living-room wall. Here There Be Monsters, indeed. She didn’t want to stand in her kitchen, feeling old and comparing her lover to her sons.

  “Guys, I’m running to the grocery store for a few things. Any special requests?”

  “Froot Loops,” Connor called over his shoulder without turning around.

  “Ho Hos,” Robbie added.

  Nick said nothing, just manipulated the three-dimensional character on the TV screen.

  “Nick? You want anything?” Jesus, now she sounded like his frigging mother.

  “No, thanks.”

  Bess left them to their game and went to the grocery store. Unlike the last time she’d been here, she didn’t have to sit in the parking lot and wonder if she’d lost her mind. The girl on the beach had seen Nick, and so had her boys. He did exist, even if she still hadn’t figured out how or what they were going to do for the rest of their…her…life.