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The Complete Mackenzie Collection Page 54
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Barrie knew she should be worried and upset about this unplanned pregnancy, but it was the only thing in her life right now that made her happy. She was intensely lonely; the kidnapping and the long hours alone with Zane had set her apart from the other people in her life. She had memories they couldn’t share, thoughts and needs no one could understand. Zane had been there with her; he would have understood her occasional pensiveness, her reticence in talking about it. It wasn’t that she was secretive, for she would have liked to talk to someone who understood. But what she had shared with Zane was like a combat experience, forming a unique bond between the people who had lived it.
She wouldn’t be able to keep her pregnancy secret much longer; she had to arrange prenatal care, and all telephone calls were now recorded. She supposed she could sneak out again and set up a doctor’s appointment from a pay phone, but she would be damned if she would.
Enough was enough. She was an adult, and soon to be a mother. She hated the fact that her relationship with her father had deteriorated to the point where they barely spoke, but she couldn’t find a way to mend it. As long as the possibility of his involvement in treasonous activities remained, she was helpless. She wanted him to explain, to give her a plausible reason why she had been kidnapped. She wanted to stop looking over her shoulder every time she went out; she didn’t want to feel as if she truly needed to be guarded. She wanted to live a normal life. She didn’t want to raise her baby in an atmosphere of fear.
But that was exactly the atmosphere that permeated the house. It was stifling her. She had to get away, had to remove herself from the haunting fear that, as long as her father was involved in whatever had given him such a guilty expression, she could be kidnapped again. The very thought made her want to vomit, and she didn’t have just herself to worry about now. She had her baby to protect.
The fatigue of early pregnancy had gotten her into the habit of sleeping late, but one morning she woke early, disturbed by a pair of raucous birds fighting for territory in the tree outside her window. Once she was awake, nausea soon followed, and she made her usual morning dash to the bathroom. Also as usual, when the bout of morning sickness had passed, she felt fine. She looked out the window at the bright morning and realized she was inordinately hungry, the first time in weeks that the idea of food was appealing.
It was barely six o’clock, too early for Adele, the cook, to have arrived. Breakfast was normally at eight, and she had been sleeping past that. Her stomach growled. She couldn’t wait another two hours for something to eat.
She put on her robe and slippers and quietly left her room; her father’s bedroom was at the top of the stairs, and she didn’t want to disturb him. Even more, she didn’t want him to join her for an awkward tête-àè-tête. He tried so hard to carry on as if nothing had happened, and she couldn’t respond as she had before.
He should still be asleep, she thought, but when she reached the top of the stairs she heard him saying something she couldn’t understand. She paused, wondering if he’d heard her after all and had been calling out to her. Then she heard him say Mack in a sharp tone, and she froze.
A chill roughened her entire body, and the bottom dropped out of her stomach. The only Mack she knew was Mack Prewett, but why would her father be talking to him? Mack Prewett was still stationed in Athens, as far as she knew, and since her father had resigned, he shouldn’t have had any reason to be talking to him.
Then her heart leaped wildly as another possibility occurred to her. Perhaps he had been saying Mackenzie and she’d heard only the first syllable. Maybe he was talking about Zane. If she listened, she might find out where he was, or at least how he was. With no additional information about his condition, it had been hard to believe Admiral Lindley’s assurance that he would fully recover. Belief required trust, and she no longer trusted the admiral, or her father.
She crept closer to his door and put her ear against it.
“—finished soon,” he was saying sharply, then he was silent for a moment. “I didn’t bargain on this. Barrie wasn’t supposed to be involved. Get it wrapped up, Mack.”
Barrie closed her eyes in despair. The chill was back, even colder than before. She shook with it, and swallowed hard against the return of nausea. So he was involved, he and Mack Prewett both. Mack was CIA. Was he a double agent, and if so, for whom? The world situation wasn’t like it had been back in the old days of the Cold War, when the lines had been clearly drawn. Nations had died since then, and new ones taken their place. Religion or money seemed to be the driving force behind most differences these days; how would her father and Mack Prewett fit into that? What information would her father have that Mack wouldn’t?
The answer eluded her. It could be anything. Her father had friends in every country in Europe, and any variety of confidential information could come his way. What didn’t make sense was why he would sell that information; he was already a wealthy man. But money, to some people, was as addictive as a narcotic. No amount was ever enough; they had to have more, then still more, always looking for the next hit in the form of cash and the power that went with it.
Could she have been so wrong in her judgment of him? Had she still been looking at him with a child’s eyes, seeing only her father, the man who had been the security in her life, instead of a man whose ambitions had tainted his honor?
Blindly she stumbled to her bedroom, not caring if he heard her. He must still have been engrossed in his conversation, though, or she didn’t make as much noise as she thought she had, because his door remained closed.
She curled up on the bed, protectively folding herself around the tiny embryo in her womb.
What was it he hadn’t bargained on? The kidnapping? That was over two months in the past. Had there been a new threat to use her as a means of ensuring he did something?
She was helplessly fumbling around in the dark with these wild conjectures, and she hated it. It was like being in alien territory, with no signs to guide her. What was she supposed to do? Take her suspicions to the FBI? She had nothing concrete to go on, and over the years her father had made a lot of contacts in the FBI; who could she trust there?
Even more important, if she stayed here, was she in danger? Maybe her wild conjectures weren’t wild at all. She had seen a lot during her father’s years in foreign service and noticed even more when she had started working at the embassy. Things happened, skulduggery went on, dangerous situations developed. Given the kidnapping, her father’s reaction and now his unreasonable attitude about her safety, she didn’t think she could afford to assume everything would be okay.
She had to leave.
Feverishly she began trying to think of someplace she could go where it wouldn’t be easy to find her, and how she could get there without leaving a paper trail that would lead a halfway competent terrorist straight to her. Mean-while, Mack Prewett wasn’t a halfway competent bureaucrat, he was frighteningly efficient; he was like a spider, with webs of contacts spreading out in all directions. If she booked a flight using her real name, or paid for it with a credit card, he would know.
To truly hide, she had to have cash, a lot of it. That meant emptying her bank account, but how could she get there without her father knowing? It had reached the point where she would have to climb out the window and walk to the nearest pay phone to call a cab.
Maybe the house was already being watched.
She moaned and covered her face with her hands. Oh, God, this was making her paranoid, but did she dare not suspect anything? As some wit had observed, even paranoids had enemies.
She had to think of the baby. No matter how paranoid an action seemed, she had to err on the side of safety. If she had to dress in dark clothing, slither out a window in the wee hours of the morning and crawl across the ground until she was well away from this house…as ridiculous as it sounded, she would do it. Tonight? The sooner she got away, the better.
Tonight.
That decision made, she took a deep breath and