The Complete Mackenzie Collection Read online

The only time she allowed herself to worry over the future was on the drives to and from school, when she was alone in the car. When she was with Wolf she didn’t want to waste even a single second on regrets. With him, she was totally alive, totally female.

  She worried about Wolf and Joe, too. She knew Wolf was actively hunting the man who had attacked her, and she was terrified he would be hurt. She couldn’t let herself even think that he might be killed. And Joe was up to something; she knew it. He was too much like Wolf for her not to recognize the signs. He was preoccupied, and far too sober, as if faced with making a choice when neither of the alternatives was very attractive. But she couldn’t get him to open up to her, and that alone frightened her, for Joe had talked to her from the beginning.

  Joe was on edge. He’d told Pam to be more cautious than usual, and he tried to make certain she never walked home alone, but there was always a chance she’d be careless. He’d also made a point of letting himself be seen alone, and evidently unaware of the need for caution, but nothing happened. The town was quiet, if edgy. He was forced to the same awareness that Wolf already had, that with so few clues, all they could do was stay alert and wait until the man made a mistake.

  When Joe told his father that he was going to the dance with Pam, Wolf looked piercingly at the boy. “Do you know what you’re doing?”

  “I hope so.”

  “Watch your back.”

  The terse advice brought a thin smile to Joe’s mouth. He knew he could be making a big mistake by going to that dance, that the scene could turn ugly, but he’d told Pam he’d take her, and that was that. He’d have to be doubly alert, but damn, he wanted to hold her in his arms while they shuffled slowly across the sawdust floor. Even though he knew he was going away and they’d never have anything permanent between them, he was strongly attracted to her. He couldn’t explain it and knew it wouldn’t last, but he felt it now, and it was now that he had to deal with it.

  Pam was edgy, too, when he picked her up. She tried to hide it by talking too fast and too brightly, until he put his hand over her mouth. “I know,” he muttered. “It worries me, too.”

  She tossed her head, freeing her mouth. “I’m not worried. It’ll be all right, you’ll see. I told you, all of us have talked about it.”

  “Then why are you so nervous?”

  She looked away from him and cleared her throat. “Well, this is the first time I’ve been out with you. I just felt—I don’t know—nervous and scared and excited all at once.”

  He thought about that for a few minutes, and silence filled the cab of the truck. Then he said, “I guess I can understand being nervous and excited, but why scared?”

  Now it was Pam’s turn to be silent, and she flushed a little when she finally said, “Because you’re not like the rest of us.”

  That grim look settled around Joe’s mouth. “Yeah, I know. I’m a ’breed.”

  “It isn’t that,” she snapped. “It’s—you’re older than the rest of us, somehow. I know we’re the same age, but inside you’re all grown up. We’re ordinary people. We’ll stay right here and ranch the way our folks have. We’ll marry people from the same background and stay in the county, or move to another county just like it, and have kids and be content. But you’re not like that. You’re going to the Academy, and you won’t be back, at least not to stay. You may come back for a visit, but that’s all it’ll be.”

  It surprised him that she had it so neatly pegged. He did feel old inside, and always had, especially in comparison to other kids his age. And he knew he wouldn’t be back here to ranch. He belonged in the sky doing Mach 2, marking his place in the universe with a vapor trail.

  They were quiet the rest of the way to the dance. When Joe parked his truck with the collection of other trucks and a few cars, he braced himself for whatever could happen.

  He was prepared for almost anything, but not for what actually took place. When he and Pam walked into the run-down old building used for the dances, for a moment there was a certain stillness, a strange silence; then in the next heartbeat the noise picked back up and everyone returned to his own conversation. Pam put her hand in his and squeezed it.

  A few minutes later the live band started up, and couples drifted onto the sawdust-covered planks of the dance floor. Pam led him to the middle of the floor and smiled at him.

  He smiled back, wryly admitting and admiring her courage. Then he took her in his arms to enter the slow rhythm of the dance.

  They didn’t talk. After wanting for so long just to touch her, he was content to hold her and move with her. He could smell her perfume, feel the softness of her hair, the resilient mounds of her breasts, the movement of her legs against his. As young people have done from the beginning of time, they swayed together in their own private world, reality suspended.

  Reality intruded, however, when he heard an angry mutter of “dirty Indian” and automatically stiffened as he looked around for the speaker.

  Pam said, “Please,” and drew him back into the dance.

  When the song ended, a boy stood on his chair and yelled, “Hey, Joe! Pam! Over here!”

  They looked in the direction of the yell, and Joe couldn’t help grinning. Every student in the three classes Mary taught was grouped at the table, with two empty chairs waiting for him and Pam. They were waving and calling.

  The kids saved the evening. They enveloped him and Pam in a circle of laughter and dancing. Joe danced with every girl in the group; the boys talked horses, cattle, ranching and rodeoing, and between them made certain none of the girls had a chance to sit down much. The kids also talked to the other people at the dance, and soon everyone knew that the half-breed was going to the Air Force Academy. Ranchers are generally hard-working, conservative and firmly patriotic, and before too long, anyone who had a hard word to say about the half-breed found himself hushed and told to mind his manners.

  Joe and Pam left before the dance was over, because he didn’t want to keep her out too late. As they walked to his truck, he shook his head. “I never would have believed it,” he said softly. “Did you know they would all be here?”

  Pam denied it. “But they knew I’d asked you. I guess the whole town knew I’d asked you. It was fun, wasn’t it?”

  “It was fun,” he agreed. “But it could have gotten rough. You know that, don’t you? If it hadn’t been for the guys—”

  “And girls!” she interrupted.

  “Them, too. If it hadn’t been for them, I’d have been thrown out.”

  “It didn’t happen. And next time it will be even better.”

  “Is there going to be a next time?”

  She looked suddenly unsure of herself. “You—you can still come to the dances, even if you don’t want to come with me.”

  Joe laughed as he opened the truck door. He turned and put his hands on her waist, then lifted her onto the seat. “I like being with you.”

  About halfway back to Ruth, Pam put her hand on his arm. “Joe?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you want to—uh, that is, do you know any place to stop?” She faltered on the words.

  He knew he should resist the temptation, but he couldn’t. He turned off on the next side road they came to, then left the road to bounce across a meadow for about a mile before he parked beneath a stand of trees.

  The mild May night wrapped around them. The moonlight couldn’t penetrate the shelter of the trees, and the dark cab of the truck was a warm, safe cave. Pam was a pale, indistinct figure as he reached for her.

  She was pliant and eager, yielding to his hands, pressing against him to take more of his kisses. Her firm young body made him feel as if he would explode. Barely aware of what he was doing, Joe shifted and twisted until they were lying on the seat with Pam half beneath him. Soon her breasts were bare, and he heard her strangled intake of breath as he took a nipple into his mouth. Then her nails were digging into his shoulders, and her hips arched.

  It was quickly getting out of control.