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  ‘Well, your mum is talking total rubbish, because my mum isn’t, isn’t, isn’t dead. She just doesn’t live with us any more. So now you know and you don’t have to be extra nice to me and make out you want to be my friend. Tell everyone in the whole class. See if I care,’ I said, and I pushed her away and went running straight into school.

  We weren’t supposed to go into the classroom until the bell went. I went charging into the girls’ toilets and locked myself into a cubicle and cried and cried. Sometimes I heard other girls coming in, and I pressed my lips together and pinched my nose so they wouldn’t hear me sobbing. Matty came in too and called my name but I didn’t answer, and after a while she went away.

  The bell had gone now but I still stayed locked inside. I didn’t want to face anyone ever again. I was in a terrible state by now. I’d run out of toilet paper so I had dribbles all down my face and I was all hot and sweaty and my head ached and my heart pounded. All the old ache for Mum started roaring inside me.

  ‘Matilda?’

  Oh no, it was Miss Hope’s voice.

  ‘Matilda!’ I heard her walking along the cubicles, checking each one.

  I tried to tuck my legs right up so she wouldn’t see my feet. But she came to a halt outside my cubicle and tapped on the door.

  ‘Tilly?’ she said softly. ‘Don’t be silly, I know you’re in there.’

  ‘I’m not silly!’ I shouted, though I’d never ever raised my voice to a teacher before.

  I thought Miss Hope would be really mad at me, but she wasn’t at all.

  ‘Sorry. Of course you’re not silly. I’m silly to say so. And I feel silly talking to a door. Couldn’t you unlock it so we can talk face to face?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘Then I’m going to have to go down on my knees and peer under the door just to make sure you’re all right, and that will be embarrassing for both of us.’

  I reluctantly unlocked the door.

  ‘Oh dear, you poor little thing,’ said Miss Hope. ‘Let’s get you mopped up.’

  She had a couple of big soft tissues in her jacket pocket. She wiped me with them, and then ran some cold water in a basin and told me to bathe my face. I got my fringe wet by mistake, so Miss Hope stood me beside the hand dryers and smoothed my hair with her fingers so that it didn’t dry sticking up. It was such a careful motherly thing to do that I started crying again.

  ‘Oh goodness, no more tears. How about you and me popping into the staff room for five minutes? It should be empty by now. We’ll have a cup of tea and a chat,’ Miss Hope suggested.

  I wondered about our Maths lesson, but Miss Hope said she’d left Mrs Avery, the classroom assistant, in charge. It was the first time I’d ever been into the staff room. I’d expected it to be like a hotel lounge with matching seats, but it was much shabbier, with odd chairs and battered sofas and low tables scattered with educational magazines and a big Krispy Kreme box.

  ‘It was Mrs Jeffries’s birthday yesterday,’ said Miss Hope, nodding at the box. ‘Shall we see if there’s any left?’

  There were two doughnuts with rainbow sprinkles.

  ‘Well, look at that. Just waiting for us! They might be a little stale now, but a doughnut is a doughnut, don’t you agree?’ said Miss Hope. She patted her tummy. ‘Though maybe I shouldn’t. Perhaps you’d better eat them both quick. You’re such a skinny little thing you could eat a whole boxful.’

  She chattered away, making us both a mug of tea. My mug said DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY. Her mug said WONDERFUL TEACHER!

  ‘Did one of our class give you that mug, Miss Hope?’ I asked, munching. The doughnut was a little stale, but still marvellous.

  ‘I think it was from last year’s Year Four. Or maybe the year before that. Are you going to have the last doughnut?’

  ‘No, you have it.’

  ‘That’s what I’d hoped you say! Now, why all the tears this morning?’

  I stared into my mug of tea, pretending not to have heard her.

  ‘Did you and Matty have an argument?’

  I sniffed and nodded.

  ‘That’s a shame. You two usually get on so well together,’ she said.

  ‘She’s my best friend,’ I said. I gulped. ‘Well, she was.’

  ‘I expect she still is,’ said Miss Hope. ‘So, what was this argument about?’

  I pretended to be deaf again.

  ‘I asked Matty, and she didn’t want to tell me either, but eventually she said it was something about your mum,’ said Miss Hope gently.

  I shut my eyes tight, pretending that I couldn’t see her either.

  ‘Careful, you don’t want to spill hot tea all down you,’ said Miss Hope. ‘Now, Tilly, I don’t want to pry, but I gather from something your dad said that it’s just you two at home?’

  I nodded. ‘Matty thought my mum was dead but she’s not. She just doesn’t live with us any more. But Dad and I don’t talk about it. Please don’t say anything to him, Miss Hope, or he’ll get upset,’ I begged.

  ‘Well, I won’t say anything today,’ she said, which wasn’t very reassuring. ‘So how long have you and Dad been coping by yourselves?’

  ‘Ages. Since I was in Year Two. We used to live in Albarn, but then we moved last year. Dad said it was a fresh start.’

  ‘Do you still get to see your mum?’ Miss Hope asked.

  I shook my head. ‘No. She came to see me lots at first, she really did, but now she lives abroad somewhere and it’s too far away.’

  ‘Oh dear, that’s a shame. You must miss her a lot, Tilly.’

  ‘I do. And so does Dad.’

  ‘Yes, of course. So your aunty helps look after you too?’

  ‘She’s not a real aunty. Dad pays her to collect me from school. He thought I’d like that better than going to after-school club.’

  ‘And do you have a granny who lives nearby?’

  ‘No. It’s just Dad and me.’

  ‘Well, you make a great team, you and your dad. But tell you what – if there’s ever any girly thing you need to get sorted, you can always come and have a little word with me. OK?’

  I nodded.

  ‘There now. I suppose we’d both better get back to class now. Lick round your mouth – you’ve got rainbow sprinkles all over.’

  ‘Miss Hope, what am I going to do if Matty isn’t my friend any more?’ I asked.

  ‘I think she definitely wants to stay best friends with you,’ she said.

  ‘But she’s got this other friend now, Marty. They went to the cinema together on Saturday. Marty’s mum is making Matty a bridesmaid’s dress.’

  ‘Goodness, is Matty going to be a bridesmaid? I wonder if she’ll wear her sparkly green trainers with her dress!’ said Miss Hope, chuckling. ‘Don’t worry, Tilly. Matty’s the sort of girl who likes to make lots of friends, but I’m sure you’ll always be her best friend.’

  I wasn’t sure Miss Hope was right, even though she was a teacher. But when I went back to class and sat next to Matty, she looked at me anxiously.

  ‘Are you OK? I truly didn’t mean to upset you, Tilly. And I promise I won’t breathe a word about you-know-who to anyone. You’re still my best friend, aren’t you?’

  ‘I’m your best friend for ever, promise, promise, promise,’ I said.

  Chapter Four

  ‘I’VE GOT THE bridesmaid’s dress,’ said Matty in the playground. ‘And it’s truly hideous. I look a right idiot in it.’

  ‘I bet you don’t,’ I said.

  ‘Yes, I do. And I absolutely hate the shoes. They’re deep pink and very pointy, with funny heels. I can’t walk properly in them.’

  ‘They’ve got heels?’ I asked, awed.

  ‘Not high heels. Little stubby silly things that make you turn your ankle. Oh, and the knickers! They’ve got frills! They look ridiculous. It will be total torture wearing them,’ Matty wailed.

  ‘You are funny. Most girls would give anything to be a bridesmaid and wear a beautiful dress,’ I said, sighing.