Rent a Bridesmaid Read online

  ‘So this isn’t your first bridesmaid rental?’ asked Jasmine.

  ‘No, it’s my third. I was Mr and Mrs Flower’s bridesmaid – they’re this lovely elderly couple and they’re almost like a gran and grandad to me now. And then there’s Simon and Matthew – I was their bridesmaid as well, and they’re lovely too, just like uncles, and they both danced with me at their reception,’ I said.

  ‘And now you’re a bridesmaid at Mandy and Ian’s wedding and I expect that will be lovely too,’ said Jasmine.

  ‘Well, I hope so, because it’s ever such a big posh wedding,’ I said.

  For some reason that made Jasmine and all the people listening laugh.

  ‘Well, we’d better let you line up with the other bridesmaids now, because I think the bride’s limo has just arrived,’ said Jasmine.

  Mandy was struggling out of the car, fussing about her beautiful white dress, moaning at her two pink matrons of honour because they weren’t helping her properly. Then she suddenly spotted the camera. Her tight mouth stretched into a serene smile, she stepped forward, smoothing her lace, and fluttered her fingers at her assembled bridesmaids, not even frowning when Lovejoy lumbered forward to greet her and trod on her hem.

  The crowd gave a little cheer – but when I darted over to stand beside Lovejoy they gave me an even bigger cheer! I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t help turning round, wondering if they were cheering someone else entirely, and they laughed. Lots of them waved and the cameraman hurried forward to get a clear picture of me. It was almost as if it were my wedding.

  It was much more solemn inside the church. The organ music made the back of my neck prickle. We stepped slowly and gracefully up the aisle behind Mandy and her father, even Lovejoy keeping in step, and then sat quietly without fidgeting while the vicar conducted the wedding service.

  It was the first time I’d heard all the proper old-fashioned church words and I thought they sounded beautiful. Mandy and Ian stood together, looking at each other as they recited their vows. Mandy suddenly looked much younger and softer and Ian had tears in his eyes. He was trembling so much he found it hard to put the gold wedding ring on Mandy’s finger.

  I imagined Dad putting a ring on Mum’s finger to keep her safely married to him until death did them part. I gave a big sniff, because no one can look a beautiful bridesmaid with a runny nose.

  Ian kissed Mandy and there was a little sigh all over the church, and I peered around looking for Dad, wondering if he were daydreaming about Mum too. He did look a bit sad, but when he saw me staring he blew me a kiss and gave me a thumbs-up sign.

  The wedding was over so quickly. Mandy and Ian processed back down the church, the matrons of honour behind them, and then us six bridesmaids. Everyone smiled at us, and Lovejoy pranced about a bit for their benefit, even dropping a curtsy every now and then. I gave up trying to control her and walked on solemnly, clutching my little rosebud posy.

  Then we were outside again, with the crowd throwing confetti and rose petals. The television crew was still there, and Jasmine talked to Mandy and Ian. Mandy kept tossing her head and smiling in a showy fashion, not knowing that a piece of bright pink confetti had landed on the tip of her nose looking like a very big spot. Ian looked at her fondly and blew gently so the confetti drifted away.

  I suddenly felt all tearful again and had to swallow hard to stop myself crying, which was just as well, because Jasmine turned to me.

  ‘Let’s have your professional opinion on the wedding, Tilly. Was it a lovely wedding?’ she said.

  ‘Oh yes, it was beautiful,’ I said.

  ‘I expect it will be hard to beat,’ said Jasmine. ‘So have you got another wedding lined up?’

  ‘Not yet,’ I said. ‘But I’m hoping.’

  ‘You sound as if you’ve got someone in mind,’ said Jasmine, laughing.

  ‘Oh, I have,’ I said, carried away. ‘I wish I could be the bridesmaid at my dad’s wedding.’

  The people around me all went ‘Aaah!’ Jasmine looked momentarily at a loss for words, and then she patted me on my silk shoulder.

  ‘That’s so sweet,’ she said.

  Then she looked away from me, and said straight to camera, ‘Well, this is a happy day for everyone here, especially our little rent-a-bridesmaid Tilly. This is Jasmine Symes for London Local.’

  Then she smiled and said goodbye to me and went to sit in the van while the camera guys started packing up their equipment.

  ‘Hey, you were so cool, Tilly!’ said Marty, sounding really impressed.

  ‘You were a beautiful advert for my dresses,’ said Marty’s mum.

  ‘You look lovely, though I like the way I did your hair more than all those curly-whirlies,’ said Melissa.

  Dad patted me on the back and said, ‘Well done, Tilly,’ but he didn’t say any more. He didn’t comment on my wish. He didn’t say very much all the long afternoon at the wedding reception. I couldn’t sit with him while we were having the meal. I had to sit with Lovejoy and all the other bridesmaids at a special table just for us.

  We had smoked salmon with fiddly bits of greenery, then chicken in a white sauce with sauté potatoes and asparagus, and then Mandy’s favourite pudding, banoffee pie. It’s my favourite too, so it was a lovely meal, but it was a bit boring sitting with the other bridesmaids because they all knew each other and chatted together and I got a bit left out.

  I talked to Lovejoy some of the time, but then she gestured wildly with her fork while she was eating and spilled chicken and white sauce all down the front of her dress. She didn’t seem that worried but I couldn’t bear to look at her bodice after that because it was clear her dress was ruined.

  There were a lot of very long speeches. Lovejoy yawned loudly through most of them. We all perked up a little when the best man toasted us bridesmaids and said we looked like little pink roses. Then he gave us each a present. It was a silver bangle with roses engraved around it. So now I had a silver necklace with a flower pendant, a silver bracelet with a heart, and this new silver bangle. I was going to have to find an old chocolate box in which to keep all my special bridesmaid jewellery.

  Then when the meal was all over the best man danced with each of us bridesmaids in turn. He didn’t do proper dancing, he just messed about whirling us round and round, but it was quite good fun. Then Dad came to dance with me. He said he hoped I was having a good time. I said I was, and that I hoped he was too. He smiled at that but he still looked very serious.

  I was sure I knew why. He was daydreaming about Mum too, wishing and wishing that she would come back and we could have our own wedding. We were both getting very tired by this time.

  ‘I think I might whisk you home to bed,’ said Dad. ‘Or do you really want to stay on at the wedding to the bitter end?’

  I protested a little, but I really didn’t mind leaving early. It was a very grand reception in a huge marquee lit by fairy lights with a proper band instead of a disco, but somehow it was nowhere near as much fun as the other two receptions. We had to go and say goodbye to Mandy and Ian and thank them for having us.

  ‘Well, thank you for coming,’ said Mandy. ‘You were quite the little star of the show, Tilly. You absolutely hogged all the television coverage.’

  I’d thought she’d be pleased but she was clearly irritated. Still, Ian thanked me properly and insisted on giving me a special envelope with Tilly’s Fee written on the front in fancy italic handwriting. It seemed rude to open the envelope in front of him, but when I peeped in the car, I saw it was a fifty-pound note!

  ‘Look, Dad! I’ve never had so much money in my life! Should I give it back? It’s too much, isn’t it?’ I said.

  ‘It’s much too much. But I suppose you can keep it. Mandy and Ian seem to have lots of money. And they did have their wedding televised because of you,’ said Dad. ‘Though poor Mandy obviously felt they didn’t pay enough attention to her.’

  ‘It was nearly all about me, wasn’t it?’ I said. ‘Imagine, everyone watc