Emerald Star (Hetty Feather) Read online

  She climbed down again with seeming confidence, and ran about the ring turning cartwheels, her lips still stretched wide in a smile – but I saw her eyes keep swivelling to the corner where Beppo was hunched, watching her like a hawk. I cheered her very loudly indeed, encouraging everyone around me to clap and call out too.

  The lions were next, leaping out of their cage and jumping through golden hoops. I wished they’d leap a little further and mistake Beppo for a side of prime beef.

  Mr Tanglefield’s voice grew shrill as he shouted the name of each act through his loudhailer. I grew impatient as I watched them. I saw a man throw daggers at his wife and then eat fire, I saw sea lions bark in unison and wave their flippers and play trumpets, I saw a new and fabulous monkey act where the little creatures tumbled about playing a bizarre game of happy families. I especially loved seeing a baby monkey dressed like a tiny Diamond in a fairy frock, but I even tired of these endearing little furry people. I was waiting for one act only.

  At long last Mr Tanglefield mumbled Madame Adeline’s name, and in she came on Midnight, looking glorious in her pink spangles.

  She stood upon Midnight’s glossy back, pointing her toes, one elegant arm in the air. She galloped bareback to wild music and then slowed down almost to a halt while Midnight did a complicated little dance, picking up his hooves and sashaying daintily to the left and right.

  Madame Adeline asked if there were any children celebrating their birthdays in the audience. Young Phil went dashing into the ring, bursting with pride. Madame Adeline produced a birthday cake and a handful of candles. She looked at Midnight and asked him to guess Phil’s age. Midnight tapped one-two-three-four-five times with his hoof, while Phil jumped up and down and clapped. Madame Adeline stuck five candles in his cake and lit them. She told Phil to take a deep breath and then try to blow them all out in one go, but as he was puckering his lips Midnight got there first and blew out mightily through his nostrils, extinguishing every candle.

  Then Madame Adeline gave Phil a ride on Midnight’s back while everyone cheered. I remembered riding with her when I was Phil’s age. Oh, how I wanted to join in now and ride with her again, but I knew I would look a fool if I ran forward with all the little children.

  I so admired Madame Adeline. She was no longer youthful so she couldn’t perform particularly athletic or daring tricks. She didn’t have a troupe of six fine rosin-backed horses any more, just the one. She had overcome all these disadvantages and refined and renewed her act to make it work just as well.

  I cheered her until my throat hurt, and clapped and clapped at the grand finale, when all the acts paraded round the circus ring. I’d have liked to stay and congratulate Madame Adeline and Diamond, but I knew I had better go home.

  I ran all the way, but Jem was home before me even so, and already washed and brushed, wearing his red waistcoat.

  ‘You’re home early, Jem,’ I said, stirring the stew and warming the plates.

  ‘I slipped away specially, to take you to the circus,’ he said. ‘But you’ve already seen it for yourself, haven’t you, Hetty?’

  There was no point trying to deny it. ‘Yes, I have, and it was wonderful. Oh, wait till you see it, Jem! Madame Adeline is still by far the best act, but this little girl Diamond is very sweet and entertaining, though I wish she wasn’t part of that tumbling act. Gideon, are you sure you don’t want to see the circus. I know you’d absolutely love it.’

  ‘No, Hetty, you know it would upset Mother. She’s never approved of circuses,’ said Gideon, irritatingly pious.

  ‘Well, I approve one hundred per cent!’ I said. ‘Come, Jem, let’s eat quickly and then go and get a good seat.’

  ‘You want to go again? You’ve only just this minute seen the show!’ he said.

  ‘I want to go again and again and again,’ I said. I tugged on his arm. ‘I especially want to go with you, Jem.’ I was just saying it to make him feel good, but his whole face lit up with happiness.

  I wished he didn’t care about me so much. I was just making it worse for him, living under his roof. He’d never stop languishing after me if I was always there. If I disappeared, I was sure he’d soon get over me and realize that one sweet Janet was worth ten tempestuous Hettys.

  We went to the circus together, sitting right at the front this time. Jem bought me gingerbread and stuck the gold paper star on my forehead again, as if I were five years old. I smiled back, but when the lights were down and Mr Tanglefield came strutting into the ring to announce the forthcoming attractions in his reedy tones, I quickly unpicked the star and folded it up in my hand.

  I found myself feverishly irritated by Jem’s reactions all through the show. He laughed uproariously at Chino and Beppo, especially when they clowned with great Elijah. Everyone else laughed too. I didn’t mind that they were laughing at a sad old man, an evil little bully and a huge dignified animal, but I wanted my Jem to have finer feelings.

  ‘Don’t you find them funny, Hetty?’ he said.

  I nodded and tried to laugh to please him.

  ‘You are enjoying yourself, aren’t you?’ Jem asked, not quite fooled.

  ‘Yes, yes, but Jem, wait till you see the Silver Tumblers with little Diamond. And of course Madame Adeline is the true star,’ I said.

  ‘Of course,’ said Jem.

  But somehow he wasn’t enthusiastic enough. Diamond was a little hesitant this time, and very nearly slipped when she stood up precariously on the biggest boy’s shoulders. She was still so young and clearly tired out after the first performance. She was wearing pink greasepaint to disguise her pallor, but there were dark circles under her eyes. I wanted to rush into the ring and hug her reassuringly, the poor little mite.

  ‘She looks so sad. I just can’t bear it,’ I said to Jem.

  ‘She looks happy enough to me,’ he said, taken in by Diamond’s strained smile. ‘You’ve got such a soft heart, Hetty.’

  I waited impatiently for Madame Adeline and felt a tingling all over as she rode into the ring, looking regal and splendid on glossy black Midnight. ‘Isn’t she wonderful!’ I breathed.

  ‘Well, she’s certainly a game old girl,’ said Jem.

  I think he was trying to be nice, but I was so offended I withdrew my hand and hunched away from him in the seat, horrified that he could talk about dear Madame Adeline in such disparaging tones.

  When she finished her act, I stood and clapped and cheered. Madame Adeline saw me and swept me a deep curtsy.

  ‘There, Hetty, she’s curtsying to you,’ said Jem. ‘Fancy, you knowing all these circus folk. I don’t think you should come over here again though, especially by yourself. Some of those men are really rough.’

  ‘They were rough with you, Jem, not with me,’ I said. ‘Of course I am coming here again! I have to see Madame Adeline. She is my dear friend.’

  ‘Oh, you and your dear friends!’ said Jem.

  ‘What do you mean by that?’ I said.

  ‘Nothing! Calm down, Hetty! What’s the matter with you? You’re so touchy tonight. I can’t seem to say anything right,’ said Jem. ‘Now listen to me. I don’t want you running back here to the circus, not by yourself. It’s not the place for a young girl like you. I don’t want you mixing with all sorts.’

  ‘All sorts?’ I said.

  Jem sighed. ‘I know you’ve taken a shine to this madame and I’m sure she’s very nice in her own way, but she’s hardly a lady, is she?’

  ‘I’m sure it’s not gentlemanly to make that point,’ I said sharply, making him blush. ‘You’re utterly mistaken anyway. Madame Adeline is very refined and kindly and has the most perfect manners.’

  ‘I dare say, but she parades about in a short skirt up to here. It’s not decent to dress like that in front of folk,’ said Jem.

  I wondered what he would have said if he’d seen me dressed as Emerald the Amazing Pocket-Sized Mermaid, and felt myself blushing too.

  ‘There! You know I’m right,’ said Jem triumphantly.