Whiskey Rebellion - Toni Aleo Read online

  “Do ya want to?”

  “I don’t,” I answer as her lips come down to mine. “I never want to.”

  Which is one huge problem, one that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

  Because, no matter what, Lena won’t ever be mine.

  I’m just a bartender who is on his way out.

  She’s the Whiskey Princess.

  According to everyone in this town, those two things don’t go together.

  But, like Lena, my heart isn’t listening to anything anyone has to say.

  What the hell am I doing?

  Leaning on the bar, I lay my phone on the surface as it connects to my mom’s number. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, but I have to talk to someone. Since I only talk to Lena on a daily basis and it’s about her, that just leaves my mom to talk to. Especially since discussing this with Fiona would be like stepping on a billion Legos. She is convinced that I am setting myself up for failure. That Lena will never be able to truly be with me. While I know that, I don’t want to accept it. I want to think she’d come with me, explore the world with me. But I know the truth.

  Which is why I need a reality check.

  “Hey, honey!”

  “Okay, Mom, here is how this is going to go—”

  “What is going to go how?”

  “Mom, shh, listen,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. This is already turning into a clusterfuck. “You aren’t allowed to ask anything, and you can’t ask me to come home. You have to wait until I’m done, and then tell me what you think I should do. Minus ‘come home.’”

  “Well, that’s unfair.”

  “I can call Tom.”

  “No way, I’m listening.”

  I hesitate. “You promise?”

  “Yes.”

  I take a deep breath as I look in the back to make sure Fiona isn’t there somehow. She is in town with Mrs. Maclaster and Novelly. They had business at the doctor’s and then had to pick some stuff up. I’ve been left to do everything here at the pub, which is no big deal since I didn’t work at the stables today. I went on a ride with Lena this morning, which I guess is why she is featuring so prominently in my thoughts. Okay, she’s always prominently featured in my thoughts, but still, I need to talk to someone.

  Because I am falling so fucking hard for her.

  “Okay, so…” I pause again, pinching the bridge of my nose harder. “I met someone.”

  When she starts to squeal, I yell, “Mom!”

  “What? I didn’t say anything!”

  “You did that girlie scream thing.”

  “Oh. So, I have to be silent?”

  “Yeah,” I decide. “Silent is great.”

  “Whatever,” she deadpans, and I know I’m being an asshole, but I don’t know what to do with what I’m feeling.

  “I met this girl, Lena. And, Mom, she’s spectacular.” A grin pulls at my lips. “I want to be with her all the time. I love talking to her, and things have been really good this last week, after some hit-or-miss kind of shit before. But I feel like I’m falling for her, and I don’t think that’s a good idea—”

  “Can I speak?”

  I roll my eyes. “Yes, Mom.”

  “Why do you feel that way?”

  “Because I’m leaving here in about a month and a half. I’m off to Scotland next, and I know she can’t or won’t come with me.”

  “Why?”

  “She has to run the family business here. Her mom is really sick—she is actually having surgery tomorrow, and they aren’t sure of her chances of coming out of it well.”

  “Oh, that’s terrible.”

  “It is.” I run my fingers along the bar, hitting the dips and cracks in the surface as I remember Lena’s face this morning during our ride. She was so upset, nervous, and I’m worried for her.

  “So, maybe wait?”

  “I can’t. I already bought my ticket. I have to leave, or I won’t.”

  “What’s wrong with not leaving?”

  I am surprised by that. “Wow, I didn’t expect you to say that.”

  “Jackson, I have never in my life heard you say one thing about a girl ever. For the longest time, I thought you were gay. Or that your father ruined you. So for this girl to mean something to you is significant.”

  “Or I just never told you about anyone ’cause you’d make a big deal about it.”

  She pauses. “Is that true?”

  “No.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Mom, I don’t even know what she wants.”

  “Have you asked?”

  “No, because she has so much other shit to deal with. She’s so closed off, but I know she cares for me. I care for her, but I feel we’re only supposed to be having fun, and here I am with feelings. Like an idiot.”

  “Well, Jackson, you can’t stop what you feel.”

  “I know, but is it wise to want things I can’t have?”

  “Why can’t you have them? I’m confused.”

  “Mom, you just don’t understand.”

  “Then help me. You called me, and I want to help you, honey.”

  Closing my eyes, I cover my face with my hands. Was I really about to tell her this? “She is the princess, Mom.” Silence. I hear nothing. “Mom?”

  “Shut your mouth! You’re involved with the princess there?”

  “Mom, you’re doing that screaming thing.”

  “Does this mean you’ll be a prince and I’ll be a queen?”

  “For the love of God,” I mutter as she continues to scream in joyful bliss.

  “She is the blonde, right? You know I googled them. She’s a beauty, Jackson!”

  “I know, Mom.” I exhale heavily. “Which is why I’m worried.”

  She stops screaming and then says, “Oh. Because of who she is.”

  “Everyone here talks about her all the time. Her whole family too. They are the talk of the town. Really. I feel like everyone looks at me like a fool because she’d never be with me except in bed. I don’t think she could, even if she wanted to.”

  “You could have left the bed part out.”

  “It’s true, though.”

  “So, you two just do it?”

  “No, not at all. We spend a lot of time together. Riding horses, laughing at the pub, and just exploring her land. It’s been a lot of fun. But I knew the moment I met her I was in trouble. She just has this power about her to completely seize every single coherent thought I have. She makes me crazy,” I add with a laugh. “And I don’t know if she feels the same. I mean, she cares for me, but is it more than just sex and a friendship? ’Cause I think I’m falling for her.”

  She draws in a sharp breath. “Well, that is an issue.”

  “Yeah, so I should just cut it off, right?”

  “Can you cut it off?”

  “If you told me to, I could.”

  “Please, I’ve been telling you to come home for over a year, and you won’t. You’re as hardheaded as me. You do as you please, and I think you know what you need to do.”

  “What?”

  “Be honest with her.”

  “No, you aren’t listening to me.”

  “How so?”

  “I’m not staying here, I’m leaving. And while, yes, I want her to come with me, I know she can’t. One reason is that she has to do what her mom says, and the second is that I think we’re just supposed to be having fun.”

  Mom pauses. “Yes, I heard all that, and I still think you should be honest. Tell her how you’re feeling.”

  “But I don’t want to give her a reason to feel things for me when we can’t have what we want.”

  “I am so confused, Jackson.”

  “So am I! Tell me what to do.”

  “What do you want to do, honey?”

  “I want to be with her.”

  “Then be with her.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Jesus Christ, then why are you even entertaining this?”

  “Because