The Princess Rules Read online

  ‘I think I can see my glasses!’ he said as quietly as he could manage. ‘On a big cart. Are they really going to make me see everything clearly?’

  ‘Yes!’ Florizella said, with her fingers crossed behind her back for luck.

  ‘And then you can go home and plant your own food,’ Bennett reminded him.

  ‘And no one will ever call you stupid again,’ Florizella said encouragingly.

  The wagon drew to a halt at the giant’s feet. Simon bent down very carefully, putting Cecilia on the ground beside Florizella and Bennett. Then he picked up the spectacles by the frames and looked at them.

  ‘Put them carefully on your nose,’ Florizella urged.

  There was a long exciting silence while the giant settled them on his nose, pushed the arms of the spectacles into his curly fair hair and tucked them behind his huge ears.

  He gazed out across the Plain Green Plains. ‘I can see!’ he said softly. ‘I can see properly at last. It’s lovely. I can see the hills and the mountains behind them. I can see the trees.’

  He turned his big face to look downwards. ‘And I can see my friends,’ he began …

  Then he screamed in absolute terror – so loudly that Florizella, Bennett, Cecilia and all the royal court were blown over and over by the blast.

  ‘Humans! Humans! Ugh! Humans! I hate humans! I thought you were mice!’

  ‘Stand still! Stand still!’ Florizella and Bennett yelled as the giant clumsily tried to jump away from the royal camp while the king and queen and the royal surveyor and the whole court clung to bushes and trees as the whole world shook around them. ‘You’ll hurt us! Stand still!’

  The plough horses threw up their heads and bolted in ten different directions. Their driver leaped clear of the wagon, which overturned and was dragged zigzagging wildly away. People ran screaming with terror as the mighty boots crashed down first in one spot and then another like great unpredictable thunderbolts. High, high above them, above the tops of the trees, they could hear the roaring complaints of the frightened giant.

  ‘I hate humans! I hate humans! They’re ’orrible! ’Orrible! I hate them. They’re dangerous! They’re nasty! They’re sneaky! They come after you when you ain’t done nothing! ’Orrible! ’Orrible!’

  ‘Stand still!’ Florizella yelled. ‘Stand still and listen for a moment!’

  The giant forced himself to stand still, quivering all over with fright.

  ‘We’re not ’orrible,’ Florizella said. ‘I mean horrible. We’ve been kind to you – remember? We’ve made you these spectacles and it took all the glass from our windows and all the iron in the kingdom! We’ve fed you every day! We’re not sneaky and nasty!’

  The giant shook his head. He was hopelessly confused.

  ‘Cecilia is a human,’ Florizella gabbled at the top of her voice. ‘And you like her. She tells you wonderful stories. And you like Bennett – he brought you lemonade when you were thirsty. And you like me – and all of us here. We’ve fed you for a week. We’ve cared for you.’

  The giant shook his head. ‘I don’t believe you! I’ve heard all about your sort! It was one of your tricks – being nice to me. I know all about humans! You’d have tied me up when I was asleep or something sneaky like that! You’d have come climbing up beanstalks after me! You’d steal my gold or set other giants on me! Well, you watch out, Princess Florizella! Fee-fi-fo-fum, you know! I am a giant after all! I can grind your bones, don’t forget!

  Fee-fi-fo-fum!

  Fee-fi-fo-fum!

  I can’t remember how the rest of it goes … Umpty, umpty, umpty um!’

  He finished the last Umpty, umpty, umpty um! with a great roar, trying very hard to hide his own fear and to frighten everyone else.

  ‘What are we going to do?’ Florizella asked Bennett in an urgent whisper. ‘If he goes on about grinding bones, the royal guard won’t like it at all! And then we’ll have a little war on our hands.’

  ‘A giant war, you mean,’ Bennett said. ‘And we’ve given him spectacles so he can see us. We won’t have a chance if he attacks!’

  Florizella looked behind her. Already people were getting up and looking for weapons, and mustering around the king and queen. They all looked angry and frightened. The royal guard gathered at the royal standard with their hands on their swords. The captain of the royal guard was setting out a battle plan. The drummer girls were looking for their drumsticks in a hurry in case anyone wanted to sound the retreat – or even advance. The queen beckoned urgently to Florizella to come to her. Florizella smiled pleasantly and waved back, pretending not to understand.

  Suddenly, little Cecilia pushed between Florizella and Bennett.

  ‘Lift me up!’ she demanded. ‘Lift me up on your thoulder.’

  Bennett picked her up. She was still only as high as the giant’s laces on his monstrous boots.

  ‘Thimon!’ she yelled. ‘Giant Thimon! Can you hear me?’

  The giant stopped still at her commanding little squeak.

  ‘Yes,’ he said a little more softly. ‘I can hear you, Thethilia.’

  ‘You are a big thilly to thpeak to Florithella like that,’ she said severely. ‘She hath been ath nithe ath she could be. And then you thtart up with thith fee-fi-fo-fum nonthenth. You thould be athamed of yourthelf. You are a great big naughty thing.’

  ‘I …’ the giant began, but it was no use. Cecilia was quite unstoppable.

  ‘Now, you thay thorry,’ she said firmly. ‘Or no one ith going to talk to you.’

  There was a long silence.

  ‘THAY THORRY!’ Cecilia shouted with infinite threat.

  ‘Thorry,’ the giant said. ‘Thorry. I was startled. I’ve never talked to humans before. I thought you were all horrid little vermin. A race of burglars and killers. Beansprout climbers. I thought you were all called Jack.’

  ‘That’s just a fairy story,’ Florizella said. ‘You don’t want to believe everything you read in fairy stories.’

  ‘Sorry,’ the giant said more softly. ‘I thought it was true. I thought we were natural enemies.’

  Bennett shook his head. ‘There are no natural enemies,’ he said. ‘You can always be friends if you choose to be. We’d like to be friends with you.’

  The giant shuffled his feet rather dangerously.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said again very humbly. ‘I want to be friends. I was very frightened for a moment, that was all.’

  ‘That’th better,’ Cecilia said firmly.

  The giant bent down and put out his big warm hand. The three children climbed into it. He lifted them up and up and up, past the tree trunks, past the high branches of the trees, past the birds’ nests and the tops of the trees, up to his face.

  His big blue eyes were huge behind his new glasses, as big as two blue harvest moons. The effect was quite startling: Florizella found she was gazing and gazing into his deep, enormous eyes.

  ‘I am sorry,’ he said again. ‘I know you’re nice now. But I was always taught that humans were dreadful.’

  ‘There are good and bad,’ Cecilia ruled. ‘Jutht like giantth, jutht like all people. Good and bad.’

  Florizella and Bennett exchanged an amazed look.

  ‘This Cecilia is one smart little girl,’ Bennett whispered to Florizella. Aloud he said, ‘If you are ready to leave, Giant Simon, then we have seeds and plants for you.’ He pointed towards the horizon where there was a long train of carts loaded with sacks of tomato seeds, lettuce seeds, carrot seeds, potato seeds, marrow seeds, cucumber seeds, corn on the cob seeds and parsnip seeds. Behind them were more wagons piled high with little fruit trees, their branches tossing with the rolling of the carts along the road.

  The giant gave a little sigh of pleasure. The three children grabbed on to his thumb and no one was blown away.

  ‘That’s a wonderful sight,’ he said. ‘It’s very kind of you all. I shall take them home and plant them, and my garden will be the best of all gardens. And then I shall have friends who will come rou