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  The Queen of Scots arches her dark eyebrows at dissent. ‘Do you mean to say that you believe she has been patient with me?’ she inquires.

  ‘Her court has been divided, her own cousin tempted into disloyalty, her lords have plotted against her, she has faced the greatest rebellion of her reign, and her parliament calls for her to execute all those involved in the plot, including you.’ I glare balefully at my own ladies, whose loyalty has been suspect ever since this glamorous young queen first appeared among us with her romantic stories of France and her so-called tragic life. ‘The queen could have followed the advice of her councillors, and called in the hangman for every one of your friends. But she has not.’

  ‘There is a gibbet at every crossroads,’ Queen Mary observes. ‘There are not many in the North who would agree with you that Elizabeth’s mercy falls like the gentle rain.’

  ‘There is a rebel at the end of each rope,’ I say stoutly. ‘And the queen could have hanged a dozen more for each one.’

  ‘Yes, indeed, she has lost all her support,’ Mary agrees sweetly. ‘There was not a town or village in the North that declared for her. They all wanted the true religion, and to see me freed. Even you had to run before the army of the North, Bess. Tiens! How you laboured with your wagons and how you fretted for your goods! Even you knew that there was not a town or village in the North that was loyal to Elizabeth. You had to whip up your horses and get through them as quick as you could while your silver cups fell off the back.’

  There is a ripple of sycophantic laughter from my ladies at the thought of me, struggling along with my Papist candlesticks. I bend my head over my sewing and grit my teeth.

  ‘I watched you then,’ she says more quietly, drawing her chair a little closer to me so that we can speak privately. ‘You were afraid in those days, on the road to Coventry.’

  ‘No blame in that,’ I say defensively. ‘Most people were afraid.’

  ‘But you were not afraid for your own life.’

  I shake my head. ‘I am no coward.’

  ‘No, you are more than that. You are courageous. You were not afraid for your life, nor for the safety of your husband. You were not afraid of the battle either. But you were terrified of something. What was it?’

  ‘The loss of my house,’ I concede.

  She cannot believe me. ‘What? Your house? With an army at your heels you were thinking of your house?’

  I nod. ‘Always.’

  ‘A house?’ she repeats. ‘When we were in danger of our very lives?’

  I give a half-embarrassed laugh. ‘Your Grace, you would not understand. You have been queen of so many palaces. You would not understand what it is like for me to win a small fortune and try to keep it.’

  ‘You fear for your house before the safety of your husband?’

  ‘I was born the daughter of a newly widowed woman,’ I say. I doubt she will understand me even if I could spell it out for her. ‘On my father’s death she was left with nothing. I mean that: nothing. I was sent to the Brandon family, as companion and upper servant in their household. I saw then that a woman must have a husband and a house for her own safety.’

  ‘You were surely in no danger?’

  ‘I was always in danger of becoming a poor woman,’ I explain. ‘A poor woman is the lowest thing in the world. A woman alone owns nothing, she cannot house her children, she cannot earn money to put food on the table, she is dependent on the kindness of her family, without their generosity she could starve to death. She could see her children die for lack of money to pay a doctor, she could go hungry for she has no trade nor guild nor skill. Women are banned from learning and from trade. You cannot have a woman blacksmith nor a woman clerk. All a woman can do, without education, without a skill, is to sell herself. I decided, whatever it cost me, I would somehow win property and cling to it.’

  ‘It is your kingdom,’ she says suddenly. ‘Your house is your own little kingdom.’

  ‘Exactly,’ I say. ‘And if I lose my house I am thrown on the world without protection.’

  ‘Just like a queen.’ She nods. ‘A queen has to have a kingdom and without it she has nothing.’

  ‘Yes,’ I say.

  ‘And does your fear of losing your house mean that you see your husbands as providers, and nothing more?’ she asks inquisitively.

  ‘I loved my husbands because they were good to me and left me their fortunes,’ I admit. ‘And I love my children because they are my dearest own children and because they are my heirs. They will go on after I am gone. They will be heirs to my fortune, they will own my houses and wealth, please God they will add to them, and they will have titles and honour.’

  ‘Some would say you are a woman without a tender heart,’ she remarks. ‘A woman with the heart of a man.’

  ‘I am not a woman who relishes the uncertainty of a woman’s life,’ I reply stoutly. ‘I am not a woman who glories in being dependent. I would rather earn my own fortune than curry the favour of a rich man and look to him for my safety.’

  As she is about to reply the door opens behind me, and I know that it is my husband the earl. I know it before I even turn to see, because of the way her face lights up at the sight of him. I know that she would shine her smile on any man. She has all the discrimination of a whore. Any man or boy, from my eight-year-old pageboy Babington, to my forty-two-year-old husband: to them all she is equally delightful. She was even gaily flirtatious with Hastings in the days before he left.

  I cannot say how galling it is for me to see the intimacy of her smile and the way she extends her hand, and how utterly infuriating to see him bow over her hand and kiss her fingers and hold them for a moment. There is nothing improper in her behaviour or his. Her gesture is queenly and he is a restrained courtier. God knows, there is far grosser flirtation between Queen Elizabeth and any new arrival to her presence chamber, more bawdiness in the court, too. Elizabeth can be downright lustful and her constant hunger for flattery is a byword amongst her courtiers. In contrast, this queen, though far more desirable, never strays from the most enchanting manners.

  But I suppose I am weary to my soul of seeing her in my rooms, seated in my best chair, curtained by her own cloth of state, with my husband bowing to her as if she were an angel descended to illuminate, rather than a most unreliable woman.

  ‘A messenger has come from London,’ he says. ‘He carries letters for you. I thought you might want to see them at once.’

  ‘Indeed I do.’ She rises from her seat and so we all have to jump up too. ‘I will read them in my rooms.’

  She throws a smile at me. ‘I shall see you at dinner, Lady Bess,’ she dismisses me. But she turns to my husband. ‘Will you come and look at what they say?’ she invites him. ‘I would appreciate your advice.’

  I press my lips together to swallow words that I should not even think. Such as: what help could he possibly give you, since he thinks of nothing and plans ahead not at all? How could he ever choose any course when he does not know what he is worth, what it would cost him, and if he can afford it? Do either of you know that he is sliding into debt every day? What help would you seek from a fool? Unless you are a fool yourself?

  My husband the earl, who now I inwardly call: my husband the fool, gives her his arm and they go out together, their heads close. He has forgotten either to greet me or say farewell. I feel the eyes of my ladies on me and I sit down on my stool and snap my fingers at them. ‘Carry on,’ I say. ‘Sheets don’t mend themselves, you know.’

  1570, February, Tutbury Castle: Mary

  Bothwell, you will laugh to read this as I laugh while I write. My half-brother Moray is dead, and they want me back as queen. I will be back on my throne this summer and have you freed the next day. I always was lucky, and the prison that could keep you has not been built. Marie

  1570, April, Tutbury Castle: George

  I have become, despite myself, Queen Mary’s advisor. I have to: it is a duty of honour. She cannot be left without someone to t