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  sitting there. He held my cel phone in one hand, the screen

  flipped open. I hadn't heard it ring.

  "What are you doing?"

  Austin slowly closed my phone and set it on the desk. He

  stood. He was too big for my room, too.

  I wished I'd taken the time to pul on my robe. A towel

  didn't seem adequate protection against the way he was

  looking at me. I grabbed for my nightgown, but it had

  tangled in itself when I threw it on the floor, and I couldn't

  tangled in itself when I threw it on the floor, and I couldn't

  easily slide it over my head.

  "You got a message," Austin said. "While you were in the shower."

  "Since when are you alowed to listen to my messages?" I

  yanked the cotton into place and tugged it over my head.

  With it covering my face, I closed my eyes, wishing when I

  opened them I'd discover this was al an inconvenient

  dream.

  "A text message," he said.

  I yanked the nightgown down on my shoulders and glared.

  "Since when are you alowed to read my messages?"

  I stalked to the desk and grabbed up my phone but didn't

  look to see who'd caled. I cradled it to my chest, though,

  the metal chil through the cotton. Austin didn't move.

  "Wel?" I demanded. "What the hel, Austin? Who the hel do you think you are?"

  "Apparently, I'm nobody," he said.

  I'd braced myself for anger, or accusations. A message

  I'd braced myself for anger, or accusations. A message

  from Kira or my mom wouldn't have bothered him. It had

  to have been from Eric, though I hadn't told him to send

  me anything.

  "I have to ask you, Paige. Is that what you want?" He

  gestured at the phone, but since I didn't know what the

  message had been, I couldn't answer.

  I refused to look now. "You'd better leave."

  Austin shook his head. "Answer me first. I think I deserve

  an answer."

  "I don't owe you—anything." My voice tore on the last

  word and I shut my mouth tight to keep from breaking

  totaly.

  "Is that what you want?" he asked again, lower now.

  To my horror, I saw he wasn't angry. Austin was close to

  tears. I'd never seen him cry, not even when the dog he'd

  had since toddlerhood had died. I'd watched him bury that

  dog without a tear. But now…now, he was almost

  weeping.

  I had done this to him.

  I had done this to him.

  I didn't need to beat his ass with a belt to hurt him.

  I felt like the worst kind of bitch.

  "Is it what you like? Is it what you need?" He looked

  helplessly at the headboard, where his hands had left no

  marks. I looked, too. We didn't need scratches in the

  wood to remember how he'd clutched it.

  "I…think…I don't want to talk about this," I gasped out

  around tears of my own.

  Austin had seen me cry plenty of times. If my tears moved

  him, he didn't show it. "Talk about it to me. I want to

  know."

  He paused, moved forward. Reached for me, though I

  backed away.

  "Please," he said.

  I shook my head and covered my face with my hands, so I

  didn't see him getting on his knees in front of me. I only felt

  the thud as he hit the floor and the warmth of his hands as

  he grabbed my hips. I couldn't look, not even when he

  he grabbed my hips. I couldn't look, not even when he

  pressed his face to my pussy and whispered my name, his

  breath hot through the cotton. I didn't want to feel the wet

  of tears against my skin. I wouldn't look, not even when he

  inched the fabric of my nightgown into his fists and kissed

  my bely, then my thighs.

  "Tel me," Austin said. "Is this where you want me?"

  A strangled sound launched itself from my throat. I tried to

  take a step back, but his hands held me in place. He

  kissed me again, slow and lingering. Heat and wet against

  my cunt. Heat and wet against my thigh as he turned his

  face to press against me there.

  "Because I'l do it, if it makes you happy, Paige. I'l get on

  my knees for you any time you want it. I'l let you do what

  you want. If you tel me what you want me to do, I'l do it.

  Whatever it takes, remember? Just…tel me. Please."

  "I want you to shut up and go," I said as best I could

  without breath. It had stuck in my throat, too, my world

  spinning dizzily as I tried to draw in more air. "Just go,

  Austin!"

  "If that's what you want." He stood and his hands slid up

  "If that's what you want." He stood and his hands slid up

  my body to pul me closer to him.

  My nightgown fel back down, but it was no protection

  against him. His belt buckle pressed my bely. The denim

  of his jeans scratched my bare legs. I had my hands

  between us, pushing at his chest, and he snared them both

  in his. Too late, I realized I would have to look at him

  now.

  "I love you," Austin said. "Don't you know that?"

  I opened my mouth and he kissed me until I turned my

  face.

  "You don't want to know it," he said.

  "We've been through this before," I whispered. "It doesn't work with us."

  "I want it to work. Things are different now. Aren't they?

  I'm different." He paused and tugged me half an inch

  closer. "You're different. You know you are."

  But I hadn't wanted him to know.

  "We weren't al bad together," he said.

  "We weren't al bad together," he said.

  I looked at him again. "We weren't al good together,

  either."

  "I want to be with you. Not just to fuck you once in a

  while. Again, serious. You and me. I'm wiling to try."

  I almost said yes. But then I said no. "Leave."

  "Whatever it takes," Austin said, and kissed me until I

  couldn't breathe.

  I didn't walk him to the door. I waited until I heard it close

  behind him before I looked at the message on my phone.

  It was from Eric, as I'd thought.

  If I were with you right now, I'd be on my knees for you.

  Your slave. I'd worship you. I wish I could be with you

  right now.

  It's easy to look back and blame a lot of things on

  circumstance, and I could blame what had just happened

  with Austin for my response to Eric. But I'l own what I

  did. I answered him.

  I think it's time we meet in person.

  I think it's time we meet in person.

  Then I wiped my face and refused to cry anymore.

  Chapter 31

  "Paige, I need you to come and stay with Arty next week

  while I go away for a few days." My mom, for once, didn't

  start with any sort of preamble.

  I didn't stop to think about why she was asking, just that

  she was. "Stay at the house?"

  "Yes." She sounded tired and cranky. "I need you to be here to get him on the bus in the morning. He has that

  after-school program until you can get home from work."

  "What time does he get on the bus?" Already I was

  calculating excuses, thinking only of the torture of having to

  stay in my mother's house for any len